That article was one hell of a drawn out paragraph. Got to love pseudoscience.
"Geisty". I has an idears I do...Uh Huh. ( Its a joke Poltergeisty )
1) We get a group together. Say 12 individuals.
2) We establish the location of the most big foot sightings = ?? Pacific Northwest or Canada. We initiate
a tax exempt - non-profit research group and chase Big Foot ( With Govt funded research money )
3) We pack our vehicles with tents and gear, to include new Marlin 45-70 Rifles, night vision goggles and
thermal imaging devices. Also, we need some flex cuffs...JUST in case we can really tackle one to the
ground. Geisty.....You tackle and I will handcuff.
4) By using topographical and google maps set up a GREAT basecamp. ( In Mid to Late September )
The three week schedule.
A = 7:00 am - Wake up
B = 7:30 am - Fix breakfast
C = 8:30 am - Plan routes of Sasquatch patrol using maps and GPS information.
D = 9:15 am - Travel about 100 yards from basecamp looking for Big Foot. Match topographical features on the map, and surrounding area
to verify your location. Look at campsite from the place you are at the time, verifying correct azmuth, and mark your location
on your map. Now you know where you are at.
E = 9:25 am - Set at surveillance location. Drink coffee, eat snacks and talk about the great scenery.
F = 11:30 am - Walk back to base camp.
G = 11:40 am - Eat Lunch
H = 12:30 pm - Discuss afternoon overt tactics. Recall TV show "Finding Bigoot", and practice Bobos
Bigfoot call. ( My parents watch the Bigfoot show )
I = 1:30 pm - Walk to a differnt surveillance location 100 yards away. Match topographical features on the map, and surrounding area
to verify your location. Look at campsite from the place you are at the time, verifying correct azmuth, and mark your location
on your map. Now you know where you are at.Do the vocal "Bobo" call, then use a loose dead
stick to beat on large tree, then run stick up and down tree...making a scraping sound.
J = 1:33 pm - Realize your Bobo call and knocking on tree with a stick is effortless.
K = 1:36 pm - Lay down by a nice tree and take a nap.
L = 4:30 pm - Awake after your watch alarm goes off
M = 4:31 pm - Stretch out, yawn and finally stand up.
N = 4:32 pm - Pick up backpack and 45-70 Marlin rifle and walk back to camp.
O = 4:42 pm - Tell all your co-workers your done the Bobo yell and hit a stick on a tree, and even urinated
near a fir tree that had a portion of the bark missing, but to no avail...you did not see Big Foot.
P = 5:00 pm - Fix dinner.
Q = 6:00 pm - Depart for a third surveillance location.
R = 6:05 pm - Arrive at surveillance location. Match topographical features on the map, and surrounding area
to verify your location. Look at campsite from the place you are at the time, verifying correct azmuth, and mark your location
on your map. Now you know where you are at. Use Thermal imaging equipment and night vision in an attept to observe a
Sasquatch.
S = 6:06 pm - Realize that the brush is simply too thick, and that since the leaves have not completely
fallen your range of observation using the night vision is limited. The thick brush, the falling dew on the
brush and plants, as well as the incoming evening fog.....also hampers your thermal imaging. Duh !!!!
T = 6:07 pm - Drink coffee, eat some snacks and talk about how great of a camping spot you are in. Tap can of Skoal, adding
a "Three Finger Monkey Dip" to your lower lip. Spit snuff juice on the leaves of near by brush. The odor of the
wintergreen snuff may draw in a large towering Big Foot, which you can photograph with your night vision
capable camera, or even tackle and capture, therefore out doing those folks on "The Discovery Channel".
U = 7:00 pm - Realizing that your efforts were useless, the climatic and topographic conditions hampers your ability to do an efective
Sasquatch investigation with techno equipment, you and your partner walk back to camp, using the light of the
lanterns at camp, to guide you safely to the meeting area ( Large Picnic tables joined together ).
V = 7:05 pm - Tell all your co-workers that you seen a fast moving figure run through the brush. You
believe he came from the direction where you urinated on a fir tree with the bark scratched
off. It was about 200 pounds, haunched over with his head leaning toward the front, and it
even snorted as it leaped over fallen trees, that were five feet high.Refresh the snuff content in
your lip.
W = 7:06 pm - Discuss waiting till daylight to go to the sighting of the fast moving creature, so tracks can
be more accurately found, analyzed, identified and researched. Plus, your four sentence documentation
for your Govt records can be done best...... at daylight.
X = 7:10 pm - Build a nice campfire. Retrieve favorite alcohol beverage and tobacco, then have a pleasant
discussion by the campfire as the camp fire swings and sways, releasing embers into the
clear night sky. Mention how great of a camping location you have and how terrrific the
rural scenery is with the changing of the fall colors, and how you wish you would have
brought a shotgun to small game hunt with.
Y = 10:00 pm - Fix a late night snack over the campfire, or rake the hot coals to the side, and place
cooking pans on top of hot coals to fix a steak, or hamburgers. Everyone digs in on the
great food, and again compliments the camp site along with warm canvas tents, the
perfect alcohol and tobacco.
Z = 12:30 am - Go to bed. Contemplate that the folks on "Finding Bigfoot" don't have it as good as you do
even though they drive really nice and expensive SUV's, do countless interviews, and have
no evidence, pictures, or even a capture what so ever for their actions. Smile and laugh at yourself while
you give serious considerationto paying for a large Gorilla in the Spring with Govt funds, and turning it
loose just south of Vancover B.C.
P.S - After turning large Gorilla loose in southern British Columbia, enjoy reading and watching press releases of increased
gun sales in Western Canada and Washington State. Tell your significant other that the woman whom was on the news
from Washington State is crazy when she stated she saw a large hairy beast with piercing eyes stare in her bedroom
window. Laugh histerically when Cliff and Bobo state that they found tracks, and believe they have located a unique
Big Foot species; and they later deputize armed citizens and local law enforcement in their search. Look at Ranaes awe
when she sees a picture taken at a distance, of a Sasquatch from behind, as it goes though a outside trash can at a
retired persons residence.
FF-Medic !!!
......The "Men in Black" show up, in nice Sport Utility Vehicles and with firearms.