RadioReference on Facebook   RadioReference on Twitter   RadioReference Blog
 

Go Back   The RadioReference.com Forums > The RadioReference Tavern > Everything else

Everything else Wow, you made it this far and still not sure? Oh well, post it here anyway

Reply
 
LinkBack Thread Tools Search this Thread Display Modes
  #681 (permalink)  
Old 04-04-2013, 8:45 PM
b7spectra's Avatar
EMS Dispatcher
  Shack Photos
Shack photos
RadioReference Database Admininstrator
Database Admin
 
Join Date: Jul 2002
Location: Cobb County, GA
Posts: 3,258
Default

Homesick snowbird?

While walking down the street in Atlanta the other day and I saw a bumper sticker on a parked car that read: "I miss Chicago ."



So, I broke the window, stole the radio, shot out two of the tires, added an Obama bumper sticker and left a note that read, "I hope this helps!"
__________________


/
\/\|k.e

EMS Dispatcher/EMD Certified
http://icanhasdriverslicense.com
Reply With Quote
Sponsored links
  #682 (permalink)  
Old 04-04-2013, 10:01 PM
Jimru's Avatar
Member
  Premium Subscriber
Premium Subscriber
 
Join Date: Dec 2002
Location: Falmouth, MA
Posts: 892
Default Jokes - CLEAN ONLY

Lol!

How about the time I saw a car on the street that had a sign inside that said "No Radio"?

I smashed the window and left a note that said "So Get One!!"
__________________
BC396T, BC780XLT, IC-R6, IC-R75, Pro-2005, VX-5R, FT-450D, FT-8800R. More stuff in boxes, not being usedů
Reply With Quote
  #683 (permalink)  
Old 04-08-2013, 9:22 PM
b7spectra's Avatar
EMS Dispatcher
  Shack Photos
Shack photos
RadioReference Database Admininstrator
Database Admin
 
Join Date: Jul 2002
Location: Cobb County, GA
Posts: 3,258
Default

You Know You’re in a Red Neck Church if…

1. You Know You're in a Redneck Church if... the finance committee refuses to provide funds for the purchase of a chandelier because none of the members knows how to play one.

2. You know you’re in a Redneck Church if... people ask, when they learn that Jesus fed the 5000, whether the two fish were bass or catfish, and what bait was used to catch 'em.

3. You Know you’re in a Redneck Church if... when the pastor says, "I'd like to ask Bubba to help take up the offering," five guys and two women stand up.

4. You know you’re in a Redneck Church if... opening day of deer season is recognized as an official church holiday.

5. You Know you’re in a Redneck Church if... a member of the church requests to be buried in his 4-wheel-drive truck because "It ain't never been in a hole it couldn't get out of" (Love it!)

6. You know you’re in a Redneck Church if... the choir is known as the "OK Chorale".

7. You Know you’re in a Redneck Church if... in a congregation of 500 members, there are only seven last names in the church directory.

8. You know you’re in a Redneck Church if... people think "rapture" is what you get when you lift something too heavy.

9. You know you’re in a Redneck Church if... the baptismal pool is a #2 galvanized "Wheeling" washtub.

10. You Know you’re in a Redneck Church if... the choir robes were donated by (and embroidered with the logo from) Billy Bob's Barbecue.

11. You know you’re in a Redneck Church if... the collection plates are really hubcaps from a 56 Chevy.

12. You know you’re in a Redneck Church if... instead of a bell; you are called to service by a duck call.

13. You know you’re in a Redneck Church if... the minister and his wife drive matching pickup trucks.

14. You know you’re in a Redneck Church if... the communion wine is Boone's Farm "Tickled Pink".

15. You know you’re in a Redneck Church if... "Thou shall not covet" applies to huntin' dogs, too.

16. You know you’re in a! Redneck Church if... the final words of the benediction are, "Y'all come back now, Ya heah".

God Bless and don't fergit ta say yer prayers!!!

Ya’ll come back now!
__________________


/
\/\|k.e

EMS Dispatcher/EMD Certified
http://icanhasdriverslicense.com
Reply With Quote
  #684 (permalink)  
Old 04-11-2013, 12:30 AM
b7spectra's Avatar
EMS Dispatcher
  Shack Photos
Shack photos
RadioReference Database Admininstrator
Database Admin
 
Join Date: Jul 2002
Location: Cobb County, GA
Posts: 3,258
Default May be a repeat, but worth it!

President Obama goes to a primary school to talk to the kids.

After his talk he offers question time.

One little boy puts up his hand, and Obama asks him his name.

"Walter," responds the little boy.

"And what is your question, Walter?"

"I have four questions"

First, "Why did the USA Bomb Libya without the support of the Congress?"

Second, "Why do you keep saying you fixed the economy when it's actually gotten worse?"

Third, "Why did you say that Jeremiah Wright was your mentor, then said that you knew nothing about his preaching and beliefs?"

Fourth, "Why are we lending money to

Brazil to drill for oil, but America is not allowed to drill for oil?"

Just then, the bell rings for recess.

Obama informs the kiddies that they will continue after recess.

When they resume Obama says, "OK, where were we? Oh, that's right: question time.. Who has a question?"

Another little boy puts up his hand. Obama points him out and asks him his name.

"Steve," he responds.

"And what is your question, Steve?"

Actually, I have two questions.

First, "Why did the recess bell ring 20 minutes early?"

Second, "What happened to Walter?"
__________________


/
\/\|k.e

EMS Dispatcher/EMD Certified
http://icanhasdriverslicense.com
Reply With Quote
  #685 (permalink)  
Old 04-13-2013, 12:30 AM
b7spectra's Avatar
EMS Dispatcher
  Shack Photos
Shack photos
RadioReference Database Admininstrator
Database Admin
 
Join Date: Jul 2002
Location: Cobb County, GA
Posts: 3,258
Default

Obama Rated 5th Best US President!!

Of the total of 44 US Presidents: Obama rated 5th best president ever. The Democratic publicity release said,"... after a little more than 4 years, Americans have rated President Obama the 5th best president ever."

The details according to White House publicists:

* Reagan, Lincoln, and 8 others tied for first,

* 15 presidents tied for second,

* 17 other presidents tied for third,

* Jimmy Carter came in fourth, and

* Obama came in fifth!
__________________


/
\/\|k.e

EMS Dispatcher/EMD Certified
http://icanhasdriverslicense.com
Reply With Quote
Sponsored links
  #686 (permalink)  
Old 04-13-2013, 9:03 AM
Jimru's Avatar
Member
  Premium Subscriber
Premium Subscriber
 
Join Date: Dec 2002
Location: Falmouth, MA
Posts: 892
Default Jokes - CLEAN ONLY

Quote:
Originally Posted by b7spectra View Post
Obama Rated 5th Best US President!!

Of the total of 44 US Presidents: Obama rated 5th best president ever. The Democratic publicity release said,"... after a little more than 4 years, Americans have rated President Obama the 5th best president ever."

The details according to White House publicists:

* Reagan, Lincoln, and 8 others tied for first,

* 15 presidents tied for second,

* 17 other presidents tied for third,

* Jimmy Carter came in fourth, and

* Obama came in fifth!
Btw. There is no such "publicity release" as you state, this is an Internet meme being propagated by conservative bloggers.

So, the joke is on you!

And now, back to our regularly scheduled programming...
__________________
BC396T, BC780XLT, IC-R6, IC-R75, Pro-2005, VX-5R, FT-450D, FT-8800R. More stuff in boxes, not being usedů
Reply With Quote
  #687 (permalink)  
Old 04-13-2013, 10:22 AM
RadioDaze's Avatar
Member
  Premium Subscriber
Premium Subscriber
 
Join Date: Oct 2006
Location: Orange County, California, USA
Posts: 1,949
Default

OMG - Jim's a Democrat!
__________________
"'Anybody with fewer radios than me is a loser; anyone with more is a lunatic' may be the quote of the year." -datainmotion
Reply With Quote
  #688 (permalink)  
Old 04-13-2013, 11:33 AM
Jimru's Avatar
Member
  Premium Subscriber
Premium Subscriber
 
Join Date: Dec 2002
Location: Falmouth, MA
Posts: 892
Default Jokes - CLEAN ONLY

Quote:
Originally Posted by RadioDaze View Post
OMG - Jim's a Democrat!
The joke's on me, RD!
__________________
BC396T, BC780XLT, IC-R6, IC-R75, Pro-2005, VX-5R, FT-450D, FT-8800R. More stuff in boxes, not being usedů
Reply With Quote
  #689 (permalink)  
Old 04-24-2013, 2:48 AM
b7spectra's Avatar
EMS Dispatcher
  Shack Photos
Shack photos
RadioReference Database Admininstrator
Database Admin
 
Join Date: Jul 2002
Location: Cobb County, GA
Posts: 3,258
Default

Two Mexican detectives were investigating the murder of Juan Gonzalez.

'How was he killed?' asked one detective.

'With a golf gun,' the other detective replied.

'A golf gun! What is a golf gun?'

'I don't know. But it sure made a hole in Juan.'
__________________


/
\/\|k.e

EMS Dispatcher/EMD Certified
http://icanhasdriverslicense.com
Reply With Quote
Sponsored links
  #690 (permalink)  
Old 04-27-2013, 1:54 AM
b7spectra's Avatar
EMS Dispatcher
  Shack Photos
Shack photos
RadioReference Database Admininstrator
Database Admin
 
Join Date: Jul 2002
Location: Cobb County, GA
Posts: 3,258
Default

DILEMMA


One guy says to his buddy: "What is a dilemma, actually?"

The buddy replied: "Well, there's nothing better than an example to illustrate that."

"Imagine that you are laying in a big bed with a beautiful young woman on one side and a gay man on the other."


"Who are you going to turn your back on?"
__________________


/
\/\|k.e

EMS Dispatcher/EMD Certified
http://icanhasdriverslicense.com
Reply With Quote
  #691 (permalink)  
Old 04-27-2013, 8:38 AM
Jimru's Avatar
Member
  Premium Subscriber
Premium Subscriber
 
Join Date: Dec 2002
Location: Falmouth, MA
Posts: 892
Default Jokes - CLEAN ONLY

Quote:
Originally Posted by b7spectra View Post
DILEMMA


One guy says to his buddy: "What is a dilemma, actually?"

The buddy replied: "Well, there's nothing better than an example to illustrate that."

"Imagine that you are laying in a big bed with a beautiful young woman on one side and a gay man on the other."


"Who are you going to turn your back on?"
Hate to tell you, B7, but you told us this one a month ago! It's funny, though.
Jim
__________________
BC396T, BC780XLT, IC-R6, IC-R75, Pro-2005, VX-5R, FT-450D, FT-8800R. More stuff in boxes, not being usedů
Reply With Quote
  #692 (permalink)  
Old 04-27-2013, 6:57 PM
RadioDaze's Avatar
Member
  Premium Subscriber
Premium Subscriber
 
Join Date: Oct 2006
Location: Orange County, California, USA
Posts: 1,949
Default

So, this guy goes onto a forum, and starts saying, "I own two Uniden 3300XLT. I really want to catch the frequencies. I have read the manual that came with these things until my head was about to explod but I am no closer to an answer..."

Oh, you've heard it before? Funny, though, isn't it?
__________________
"'Anybody with fewer radios than me is a loser; anyone with more is a lunatic' may be the quote of the year." -datainmotion
Reply With Quote
  #693 (permalink)  
Old 04-27-2013, 8:00 PM
Jimru's Avatar
Member
  Premium Subscriber
Premium Subscriber
 
Join Date: Dec 2002
Location: Falmouth, MA
Posts: 892
Default Jokes - CLEAN ONLY

So, a Beverage antenna walks into a bar, bartender says: "So why the long wave?"
__________________
BC396T, BC780XLT, IC-R6, IC-R75, Pro-2005, VX-5R, FT-450D, FT-8800R. More stuff in boxes, not being usedů
Reply With Quote
  #694 (permalink)  
Old 05-06-2013, 1:37 PM
RadioDaze's Avatar
Member
  Premium Subscriber
Premium Subscriber
 
Join Date: Oct 2006
Location: Orange County, California, USA
Posts: 1,949
Default

A HOMELESS MAN'S FUNERAL

As a bagpiper, I play many gigs. Recently I was asked by a funeral director to play at a graveside service for a homeless man. He had no family or friends, so the service was to be at a pauper's cemetery in the Kentucky back country.

As I was not familiar with the backwoods, I got lost and, being a typical man, I didn't stop for directions.

I finally arrived an hour late and saw the funeral guy had evidently gone and the hearse was nowhere in sight. There were only the diggers and crew left and they were eating lunch.

I felt badly and apologized to the men for being late. I went to the side of the grave and looked down and the vault lid was already in place. I didn't know what else to do, so I started to play. The workers put down their lunches and began to gather around. I played out my heart and soul for this man with no family and friends.

I played like I've never play ed before for this homeless man.

And as I played 'Amazing Grace,' the workers began to weep. They wept, I wept, we all wept together. When I finished I packed up my bagpipes and started for my car. Though my head hung low, my heart was full.

As I opened the door to my car, I heard one of the workers say, "I never seen nothin' like that before and I've been putting in septic tanks for twenty years."
__________________
"'Anybody with fewer radios than me is a loser; anyone with more is a lunatic' may be the quote of the year." -datainmotion
Reply With Quote
  #695 (permalink)  
Old 05-06-2013, 4:03 PM
Jimru's Avatar
Member
  Premium Subscriber
Premium Subscriber
 
Join Date: Dec 2002
Location: Falmouth, MA
Posts: 892
Default Jokes - CLEAN ONLY

Why are bagpipers always in marching bands?

They are trying to get away from the sound!! ;-)
__________________
BC396T, BC780XLT, IC-R6, IC-R75, Pro-2005, VX-5R, FT-450D, FT-8800R. More stuff in boxes, not being usedů
Reply With Quote
Sponsored links
  #696 (permalink)  
Old 05-09-2013, 1:01 AM
b7spectra's Avatar
EMS Dispatcher
  Shack Photos
Shack photos
RadioReference Database Admininstrator
Database Admin
 
Join Date: Jul 2002
Location: Cobb County, GA
Posts: 3,258
Default

An old man lay sprawled across three entire seats in the movie theater.

When the usher came by and noticed this, he whispered to the old man, "Sorry sir, but you're only allowed one seat."

The old man just groaned but didn't budge.

The usher became more impatient. "Sir, if you don't get up from there I'm going to have to call the manager."

Once again, the old man just groaned.

The usher marched briskly back up the aisle, and in a moment he returned with the manager.

Together the two of them tried repeatedly to move the old disheveled man, but with no success.

Finally they summoned the police.

The officer surveyed the situation briefly then asked, "All right buddy what's your name?"

"Frank," the old man moaned.

"Where ya from, Frank?" asked the police officer.

With terrible pain in his voice, and without moving a muscle, Frank replied, "The balcony."
__________________


/
\/\|k.e

EMS Dispatcher/EMD Certified
http://icanhasdriverslicense.com
Reply With Quote
  #697 (permalink)  
Old 05-09-2013, 3:55 PM
Jimru's Avatar
Member
  Premium Subscriber
Premium Subscriber
 
Join Date: Dec 2002
Location: Falmouth, MA
Posts: 892
Default Jokes - CLEAN ONLY

LOL!
__________________
BC396T, BC780XLT, IC-R6, IC-R75, Pro-2005, VX-5R, FT-450D, FT-8800R. More stuff in boxes, not being usedů
Reply With Quote
  #698 (permalink)  
Old 05-11-2013, 10:11 PM
b7spectra's Avatar
EMS Dispatcher
  Shack Photos
Shack photos
RadioReference Database Admininstrator
Database Admin
 
Join Date: Jul 2002
Location: Cobb County, GA
Posts: 3,258
Default

The wife told me to go out and get some of those pills that will help me get an erection.

You should have seen her face when I came back and tossed her some diet pills!

I'm looking for a place to live, can you help me?
__________________


/
\/\|k.e

EMS Dispatcher/EMD Certified
http://icanhasdriverslicense.com
Reply With Quote
  #699 (permalink)  
Old 05-13-2013, 3:56 AM
Member
   
Join Date: Dec 2003
Location: Niagara ON
Posts: 22
Default

The wife and I are both car nuts...jags, benzs, bimmers, etc. She wanted something that would go from 0 to 150 in under 3 seconds.....

I got her a bathroom scale......it has been really quiet around the house....
Reply With Quote
  #700 (permalink)  
Old 05-13-2013, 6:54 PM
barry008's Avatar
Member
   
Join Date: Apr 2008
Location: Johnston, SC
Posts: 229
Default

A couple of old guys were golfing when one mentioned that he was going to go to Dr. Smith for a new set of dentures in the morning.

His elderly buddy remarked that he, too, had gone to the very same dentist two years before.

"Is that so?" asked the first old guy. "Did he do a good job?"


The second oldster replied, "Well, I was on the golf course yesterday when a guy on the next fairway hooked a shot. The ball must have been going at least 200 mph when it smacked me right in the Balls."



The first old guy was confused and asked, "What the hell does that have to do with your dentures?"

"It was the first time in two years my teeth didn't hurt....."
Reply With Quote
Reply

Thread Tools Search this Thread
Search this Thread:

Advanced Search
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is Off
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are On



All times are GMT -5. The time now is 11:05 PM.


Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.2
Copyright ©2000 - 2014, vBulletin Solutions, Inc.
All information here is Copyright 2012 by RadioReference.com LLC and Lindsay C. Blanton III.Ad Management by RedTyger
Copyright 2011 by RadioReference.com LLC Privacy Policy  |  Terms and Conditions