Funny/Odd things heard on the scanner

[pchan11]

I have 2 that I've heard over the past years.
The first came from the Buffalo Fire Dept.
Ladder 6 alone to xxx Best street, assist the ambulance in carrying a fat lady down the stairs.

The next came from Hamburg (Erie Co. NY)
Engine XX respond to XXX Street, investigate smoke coming from a womans organ.

[krokus]

Originally Posted by ratboy

A few times recently, and everytime it's happened, I don't grab the scanner to see what freq or agency is doing it before it takes off, there's a VERY angry black woman screaming at people over the radio. She seems to only key up late in the afternoon. I sleep days and have woken up to her tirades a couple of times. She threatens to "write up" whoever it is that she's yelling at. She's telling whoever it is that they need to "get off your a** and get it done!". She is much louder than the average transmitter and she really jumps out at you. A couple of days ago, she went off and about 2 minutes later, a friend of mine called me and asked me who she was and what was going on. He didn't see the freq either. I don't have any business freqs in my scanners, so I have no idea what it is.

Sounds like a fun DF outing, especially to ask her if she yells like that all the time.

[sc8]

After some type of child crime or missing kid that was found by police:

Dispatch to Car XX on Ch. 2

Car XX

You need to go back to the pizza shop, the kid ate your slice too.

10-4

[snakester]

Cop: Officer A to Officer B on TAC 2
Dispatch: Officer A, this is headquarters, you're still on primary.
Cop: 10-5, sorry about that.
Officer A to Officer B on TAC 2
Dispatch: officer A you're still on primary.
Cop: oh. My bad.

[emd001]

officer had an open mic during a conversation. All I caught was "I have to wear nipple guards because I bleed because I run more than you do". Then a few sentences later someone told him something and he goes "What?!" and turned off the mic. Figured that deserved to be in this thread.

[kb2vxa]

Oh well, turns out Alice was wrong... Alice Cooper - Only Women Bleed - YouTube

[dhollands]

Just on EMS dispatch north of Toronto.
Distach: Unit xxxx. Respond for a woman off her rocker (pause) fell off her rocker. Lift assist only.

[RDGDigital]

I heard this one a couple of days ago.

Dispatcher sends an officer to check the bus stop in front of the parking lot of the Best Buy. An employee is reporting that a suspect walked out the front door with a TV he didn't pay for when he thought no one was watching. He's currently sitting on the bench at the bus stop with the TV on his lap.

Public transportation, the #1 choice of thieves for that quick getaway.

[noaim]

Originally Posted by RDGDigital

I heard this one a couple of days ago.

Dispatcher sends an officer to check the bus stop in front of the parking lot of the Best Buy. An employee is reporting that a suspect walked out the front door with a TV he didn't pay for when he thought no one was watching. He's currently sitting on the bench at the bus stop with the TV on his lap.

Public transportation, the #1 choice of thieves for that quick getaway.

haha... this is funny they probably got him lol

[PiperPilot04]

Plug-fire plug(water supply on street corner)

[TXFirefighter112]

Originally Posted by BlackHawkH60

3 dumb ambulance calls
1. respond to woman with headache
2. same as above ...........toothache
3. drumroll please....24yr old female with constipation.
wonder if they brought an enema, hope everything came out ok!

Friend of mine went on a headache call a couple years back. 24 year old male woke up with a headache, thought he'd tough it out, called 911 after two days without relief. Nothing found wrong with him from the outside. His mother stated he had been asleep for at least a day before waking up with the headache and he couldnt figure out what day it was, so they decided he should go to the hospital just because something wasn't sitting right with the situtation.

When the x-rays and CTs came back they showed a bullet in his frontal lobe. The guy had shot himself in the base of his mouth, up thru his nose and into his skull about 3 days before. The pain of it knocked him out, bullet scrambled his brain a bit so he forgot everything that had happened so he didn't remember shooting himself. The entrance wound appeared to be a small incision in his chin and was concealed by his goatee.

[FreqScanner]

Love this thread! Just heard this one.

There's a human mud pie on the corner of *** and ***...... It's like a little lava flow.

[n9mxq]

Heard last night at work...

County dispatch sends city squad to a house for "the husband bought handcuffs today and now they can't get them off" seems they didn't come with a key....

Officer arrives, and about 5 minutes later calls for Fire Department...

Poor dispatcher had a hard time keeping the giggles down as she paged station 2 for assistance in removing handcuffs..

File this one under "50 Shades of Duh!"

About an hour later a squad was sent to a local cold storage facility to help a truck driver who had locked himself IN the building..But if the officer could open the main door, he could get out....

Filed under Human Roach Motel.. Truckers check in, but they can't check out...

[KCoax]

05:00 hrs
Officer delivering a baby on the side of the road.
Officer: "We got a baby"
Sgt. Gets on radio "is it a boy or girl"
Officer: "I'm not sure"
Sgt. "When you get back to the station, I'll show you how to tell the difference."

[troshs]

I heard a couple of mildly funny/weird ones last week:

Standing in the kitchen doing dishes, scanner less than 5 feet away:
"Station xx ambulance emergency, (Address) for a uh, foot detachment."

Then just a few days ago there was a dispatcher trying to clear an open mike, I was doing something else when I heard the mike open, dead silence for say, 30 seconds, and I'm thinking, hello???
Finally the dispatcher broke in and says "Micu xxx, check for an open mike."
She had to repeat herself again, and finally someone laughs into the mike and goes "Okay, sorry."
Less than 10 seconds later someone comes back, "Micu xxx you requested a check for an open mike?"
Dispatcher: "The person responsible has already responded."

Last night, I was actually sitting here on these forums, and the dispatcher was trying to get someone to check out an automatic fire alarm at a local hospital, when the person(s) responding asked her to repeat the location, she replied, confused: "Area 5, but I have no idea where that is."

[phillydjdan]

Heard today around just after noon time on the Philadelphia Fire Department radio system:

(In regards to a command button on thier MDT)

Dispatcher: Medic xx, are you available?
Medic: I hit the doohickey on the jimmy jam, I guess it didn't go through...

LOL

[Jimru]

Originally Posted by phillydjdan

Heard today around just after noon time on the Philadelphia Fire Department radio system:

(In regards to a command button on thier MDT)

Dispatcher: Medic xx, are you available?
Medic: I hit the doohickey on the jimmy jam, I guess it didn't go through...

LOL

I've been meaning to have my doohickey repaired.

I cannot afford the new Jimmyjam, but I'm saving up.

;-)

[bbrown77]

Tonight the 911 dispatch center/Sheriff's Office/Jail was hit by lightning.
Deputy 1 - "dispatch, have Jail side open gate XX so I can leave."
Dispatch - advised him of the situation and that no gates were working, he would be stuck there for a while.
Deputy 1 - 10-4. I am Ok with that too".
Deputy 2 - 'want me to break you out"
Deputy 1 - Nah, they may charge him with escape.
Deputy 1 - Dispatch, show me busy at the office since i don't have a choice.
Deputy X - (jokingly)Any one have any bolt cutters
Deputy Y - I do!

[krokus]

Ambulance: There are around 100 white semis here. Can we get better directions?
Dispatch: Notes just say they are parked next to a white semi. I'll see what I can find.

About a minute later, I hear:
Ambulance: We found the patient, between two white semis.

[gr8rcall]

"Medic 109, Rescue Base, Station 1, 101, Respond to XXX Street in reference to a 23 year old woman who has her butt stuck in a hole in the shower that her landlord won't fix"