Funny/Odd things heard on the scanner

[PoliceClips]

We had a Zombie Pub Crawl last night that led to all sorts of comms worth double takes.

Some of my favorites:

"Show me out of service as I attempt to wash the zombie blood off of my car"

"Suspects will be 2 white male zombies. Victim is a white female zombie"

LEO1"IDK what just happened... I went in the bar, dealt with the call, and now theres blood all over the door of my squad."
LEO2"HA! When you were inside the zombies sort of swarmed all over your car."

"I'm going to need backup to assist in clearing a couple hundred Zombies out of downtown." (Really did sound like a zombie apocalypse when 4 additional agencies responded)

[kb2vxa]

I was going to say something about cops and brains but I won't. (;->)

[RolnCode3]

My partner was chasing a motorcycle with a guy whose last name is "Kuppenbender" (not changed to protect the guilty).

The dispatcher thought he said "Cuban Vendor". Put it in CAD that way. There's a new captioned picture on that officer's locker now..."Hey Senor, why you no like cuban vendors?"...

[szron]

Speaking of last names and disregard for privacy laws

Arrestee last name was Krimes.

He insisted that it's pronounced "Kre-mis" but cmon... if your last name is Krimes, you will get arrested.

[n9mxq]

Just heard

Officer 1: Can you call me on my personal phone? I'm having "technical difficulties" with the other one

Officer 2: We located one up here in the parking lot

Officer 1: THAT would be the technical difficulty

[gewecke]

Gene,
That same thing has happened down here before!

73,
n9zas

[One13Truck]

Originally Posted by quarterwave

Not long ago...Dispatcher and Volunteer Department (Jumpy, excitable volunteer....)

Vol: County, we got a fire at Jim's Aunt's house.
Disp: You are going to have to give me better information
Vol: You know, our chief Jim...his Aunts house is on fire.
Disp: I got that part...where is Jim's Aunt's house? Is that in your Village?
Vol: Yeah
Disp: Can you give me an address?
Vol: 429, I think
Disp: 429 What? Where are you?
Vol: On North Main Street.
Disp: Sir....Main street runs East and West in your village....where do you want your department to respond to?
Vol: We'll go with East.
Disp: OK.....(tones go out)

At least the dispatchers there knew the district enough to get the info from them. The ones in our County don't know the areas and would be lost trying to figure out what to do. They'd probably make them go get someone to get better info or wait for someone to call it in to have a nearby address. Even then they'd have no clue where the location would be.

[One13Truck]

Originally Posted by szron

Late night police call.

"Make xxx street for a report of a suspicious vehicle in area. The caller is scared because he has small children is his house. Unknown if he's scared of the children or the vehicle."

Wording is everything


Also, Westland FD is changing numbering scheme.
All the firefighters got exited but dispatch will not change until they get an official order.
1401 becomes Engine 1, 1403 becomes Rescue 1, 1421 becomes Engine 2, 1023 becomes Rescue 2 and so on.......

Lots of thinks going on.

D: 1401 respond to xx for yy
1401 :Engine 1 copies
D: 1423 respond to zz for hh
1423: Rescue 2 copies
1401: Engine 1 in on the air (en route)
D: Engin... (silence) 1401 is on the air.
1433: Rescue 3 is back in quaters.
1423: Rescue 2 is on the air.
D: Resc.... 1433 in quaters, 1423 on the air (very annoyed).

1401: Engine 1 is A (arrived)
D: Unit calling A?!
1401: Engine 1 is calling A.
D: (very annoyed) Copy 1401 is A at xxxx.

It went on and on like that for at least couple of days

Again sounds like here. Before switching to 911 a lot of areas had their own numbering systems that worked 1,000 times better than the one the County forced on us. The old systems used 2 or 3 digit numbers and just by hearing the number you knew the town and type of apparatus. But the ones at the County have their head explode if there's more than 1 digit so everything had to be "simplified" for them. Yesterday was a fire in a very large 3 story former hotel now broken into apartments. I didn't catch the whole thing but partial list on the box was:

101 Rescue, 102 Engine, 103 Rescue/Engine, 105 Tower, 106 Tanker, 107 Tower, 109 Squad, 191 Tanker, 192 Engine, 196 Squad, 241 Engine, and 244 Ladder.

According to the County what was on scene?
Rescue 1, Engine 2, Engine 3, Tower 5, Tanker 6, Tower 7, Squad 9, Tanker 1, Engine 1, Squad 1, Engine 1, Ladder 1, another Engine 2 on standby for them, along with about 2 or 3 Chief 1's, Chief 2's. Etc... Sad...

[One13Truck]

One of the more out of the way areas of the County has always made me laugh a bit at them. The people there were old when dinosaurs were 1st popping up so they have a slightly different way of doing things than most do. I don't know why but they always make me laugh when they have an ambulance call and tell the county that "We're loaded and headed to the General with the Medics".

This is the same town that when they had their own dispatch would dispatch calls and give directions such as "It's the house that used to be Bob's old farm, turn in at the 2nd driveway past the big rock", "Next to that field that had that barn that was red back when John owned the farm but then when his son took over he sold the cows and painted it that weird green color but now it's just falling over", or "It's the 1st right after where Bob's 2 big pine trees used to be along the road before they fell over in that bad storm in 1963". They still do this and somehow they all know where they're going.

[n5ims]

PD & FD on scene of a 1 car accident with injury that was worked normally. Single occupant transported to hospital with minor injuries. Since the serious stuff was finished, I suspect that they figured it might be OK to have a bit of fun...

Female PD officer to dispatch: Tow truck just left, we should clear up shortly. (Clucking sounds in the background).
Dispatch. Received.
Female PD officer to dispatch: Can you advise the fire channel that one of their officers must have a case of bird flu. They sound like a chicken. (Turkey gobbling sounds in the background)
Dispatch: OK (Sounds a bit confused)
Female PD officer: Must be getting worse. Could be a turkey now.
Dispatch: Understood. (laughing)

[quarterwave]

Originally Posted by One13Truck

One of the more out of the way areas of the County has always made me laugh a bit at them. The people there were old when dinosaurs were 1st popping up so they have a slightly different way of doing things than most do. I don't know why but they always make me laugh when they have an ambulance call and tell the county that "We're loaded and headed to the General with the Medics".

This is the same town that when they had their own dispatch would dispatch calls and give directions such as "It's the house that used to be Bob's old farm, turn in at the 2nd driveway past the big rock", "Next to that field that had that barn that was red back when John owned the farm but then when his son took over he sold the cows and painted it that weird green color but now it's just falling over", or "It's the 1st right after where Bob's 2 big pine trees used to be along the road before they fell over in that bad storm in 1963". They still do this and somehow they all know where they're going.

I think that is just "community"!

[Sportster77]

4:00pm friday I am driving back to the shop and hear a nearby city call a unit out to investigate a couple in a park 'making love on a picinic table and both are naked'!!!!!

[mjbjr]

When you gotta go,you gotta go i guess lol

[kb2vxa]

"He insisted that it's pronounced "Kre-mis" but cmon... if your last name is Krimes, you will get arrested."

Dr. Frankenstein...
Fronkensteen.
You're putting me on.
No, it's pronounced "Fronkensteen."
Do you also say "Froaderick"?
No... "Frederick."
Well, why isn't it "Froaderick Fronkensteen"?
It isn't; it's "Frederick Fronkensteen."
I see.
You must be Igor.
No, it's pronounced "eye-gor."
But they told me it was "ee-gor."
Well, they were wrong then, weren't they?

[One13Truck]

The County EMA was doing a drill tonight. I think it was one of their "every couple months we'll pretend the power plant went kablooey drills" this time. Usually it gets pretty annoying to listen to if you're not involved so I tune it out.

As they were wrapping up tonight one of the towns meant to say they were clear with their de-con process and headed back to their town. Instead it came out as "We're all clear and released from detox and returning home"... You can hear a few people in the background immediately ask her "Detox?!?!?"

[autovon]

State Patrol ran a DL check for someone named Indiana Jones. Dispatch was trying not to laugh.

[KD8TMZ]

Disp: "Unit XX could you start towards XX Some St., Caller says that someone is using a leaf blower to blow leaves out into the street. He feels it's a hazard. He stated when he called "the leaves are a serious hazard and could incite panic." Unit XX."

Unit XX: "Uh, ok, that's clear. I may start over there in a few minutes, you can clear it out of your call log."

[n2hbx]

Heard on Orlando Fire Tac 1:

Dispatch: "Tower 10, what is your exact location? OPD is in the area and says they can't locate you."

Tower 10: "We're just over the hill at I-4 and Conroy. It's the big red truck with the lights flashing."

Dispatch: (Trying not to laugh--not succeeding) "Check...we'll advise."

Larry

[hotshotmike1001]

there was a riverside county sheriff deputy Eating In His car and he didnt know his Mic was still on and

he Farted into the Mic you then hear him sound relieved From what ever he just was eating you can even hear him smashing paper after The Dispatcher was Not a Happy Lady!

[TechnoDave]

Our local media has now started an article in the paper called "Scanner Chatter" and they post things they hear that are funny. Birmingham, AL Local News, Breaking News, Sports & Weather - al.com