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General Scanning Discussion - For general questions not specific to a model of scanner or general discussion of use of a scanner. Manufacturer specific posts should be directed to the appropriate forums below and location specific posts should go in the appropriate regional forum..

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Old 12-10-2003, 8:05 PM
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Talking Funny/Odd things heard on the scanner

Everybody post funny things that you've heard in the past.I'll go first.

Engine 101 dispatch, we got the plug behind engine... uhhh....We got the plug.

P.S. I got this idea from another website.
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Old 12-10-2003, 8:36 PM
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Tuesday 12/09/03 freq 42.62 NC Trooper dispatch in Asheville. Dispatcher did a test count for someone. 12345 / 54231. They ask her again and got 12345 / 54231. Slight delay in releasing the mic button and you could hear her break up. She really could'nt count backwards.
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Old 12-10-2003, 9:49 PM
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Hey that's pretty good.

The night of Hurricane Isabel as you would expect, the PD and FD were extremely busy. I heard a call I think it was for the western district. It went like this.

Dispatcher:7xxx respond to corner x to assist the county with an unruly crowd.
Unit 7xxx:The county's asking for our help? Whats wrong with them I thought they were cops?
Dispatcher:We're not going to go there tonight.
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Old 12-10-2003, 11:02 PM
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{Fire Tones....}

"Fire alarm, Engine 68, Engine 69, Engine 63, Truck 68.....you're all going to the movies! Respond to a waterflow alarm at the Century Theaters, 1290 Hilltop Mall Rd......."
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Old 12-11-2003, 6:48 AM
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An MSP Trooper was sent to a disabled car on a local freeway:

Trooper: "She's driving a school owned vehicle, the gas gage is on E, and there's a low gas note on the dashboard, and she can't figure out why it won't run..."

Dispatcher: "And that's the future of our children"

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Old 12-11-2003, 2:11 PM
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Default OKK now this is entertainment...

Heard on the Asheville, NC PD dispatch: BEEEEPP "Attention all units near I-26 South, assist SHP in traffic control and round up of cattle from jacknifed tractor trailer." Seconds later: "2XX en route, YEHAAA! Get on lil doggies!" A second later: "2XX, Pa says save it for the Ponderosa." (Followed by the sounds of the entire communications office breaking up in laughter) Heard on MHP District 9/Troop M: "M-12 Brookhaven, 10-28, ummmm Vanity I believe." "Brookhaven M, Mary-12, go ahead." "10-28, Edward, Lincoln, Frank, 1, repeating E L F-1. Umm Ho Ho Ho?"
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Old 12-11-2003, 3:35 PM
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One Time I heard them Run a person and it came back to Richard Dick. Then on a Car to Car channel I heard one cop tell another "did she say Richard Dick'? Then the other cop said "yep" The first cop then replied "guess that would make him a Dick Dick right?" I laughed for hours after hearing this late one night!
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Old 12-12-2003, 8:56 AM
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"Baker 15, and ONLY Baker 15, please respond to a report of a woman, approximately 22 years of age, blonde hair, 5 feet, 120 lbs running down the street. She appears to be intoxicated and is not wearing clothes. Repeating, Baker 15 ONLY, please respond."
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Old 12-12-2003, 9:36 AM
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I heard this once during rush hour on Baltimore city citywide channel.

Unit: Unit x to citywide, have all units responding too calls, to stay clear of I-83. It's backed up pretty bad.
Dispatcher: Oh I know I'm looking out the window now. Looks like a pretty big mess.
Unit: Can you see me waving. I'm the car with the blue lights on top
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Old 12-12-2003, 6:50 PM
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I have an interesting story regarding a test count, but not from a dispatcher.

While employed by my father, we serviced a LOT of taxi radios.
A driver came in and said to Roger, the technician, "My radio's not acting right."
Roger says, "Gimme a test count."
The driver stands right there and says, "One, two, three, four"
Roger says, "That's great, now go out to your cab, pick up the mic, push the button and say the same words."


True story.
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Old 12-12-2003, 7:19 PM
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53 to 56 on channel 6,


go ahead

anything going on?

Yeah i'm Contemplating my navel.

hmmmm ok good evening I quit.


Heard several years ago on Upper Arlinton Police Departments (ohio) back channel before 800 was there.

One of the best things I have ever heard.
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Old 12-12-2003, 7:30 PM
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This is not a scanner story but a CB story from about 1960. A black TV shop tec had installed a very early CB in his truck and one at home. He went thru the full call sign thing. 6W1333 unit 1 to 6W1333 unit 2, I'm out at the service station for a few. [wife] 6w1333 unit 1 this is 6W1333 unit 2, If you call and I dont answer then you know the Exlax done got me. That was 44 years ago and I'm still broke up.
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Old 12-12-2003, 8:06 PM
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Dispatch: "2C5, 2A38, 10-70?" (10-70 = are you okay?)
2C5: "Charlie 5 is fine.. Alpha 38 is.. um.. (laughs) I'll let him explain it to you."
Dispatch: "Uh.. 10-4..."
2A38: "Um, I'm okay, but my car isn't.."
Dispatch: "10-9?" (say again?)
2A38: "My car has a big boo-boo on the rear end courtesy of another motorist."
Dispatch: "Oh."
2A38: "Is there an ICU for cars?"
Dispatch: "Sure. [pause] There's a heaven for cars too."
2A38: "Well, you can put me 10-35, anyway." (off duty)
Dispatch: "No problem, have, um, a better night."
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Old 12-12-2003, 9:46 PM
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Before I got my 1st scanner (and this is the reason I got it) I was at a Ham suppy store where they had one running and it was picking up the old radio phone calls.. (background noise busy office) Man to wife Honey I am going to be working late tonight ..
Bacground noise traffic same man) Hey Sweetie get that sexy out fit on I am on my way....
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Old 12-13-2003, 5:37 AM
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A deputy was dispatched to a local grocery store parking lot to investigate reports of a large beaver wandering around the lot. Another deputy promptly indicated that he was in the area and would also respond because, "I wouldn't consider myself a real man unless I check out the beaver".
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Old 12-13-2003, 10:45 AM
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Default Fun Tradition

Every year on Christmas Eve, Santa Claus calls the Payne County, Okla. Sheriff's Office on the radio and announces his intentions to visit all the homes in the county delivering toys to all the good boys and girls. He is cleared by the Sheriff himself, who advises his deputies to render any asistance Santa requires.

Not sure just who is listening to this little play, but it's a nice touch!

Mark Schneider - K5MAR
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Old 12-14-2003, 2:26 PM
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The late Don Gaze, dispatcher for the Greenville Co SC Sheriff dept would sign on at 12:m for the nite shift on 37.10MHz. " This is K - I - C - 2 - 3 - 1 Greenville County Sheriffs Department Greenville South Carolina where the moon comes over the mountain in fruit jars. Often I would stay up late on Fri/Sat just to hear him.
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Old 12-14-2003, 3:25 PM
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Default Radio Check

Local fire chief(Who did a radio check every day) calls dispatch for a radio check. FIRE CHIEF KVR 750 this is1901 for a radio check. dispatch KVR750 on for 1901............ YOUR 2 LOUD,...... 2 CLEAR, ......AND 2 OFTEN. I laugh everytime I think about it.
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Old 12-14-2003, 4:32 PM
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Default Not funny but...

... It's gotta be the best damn news I've heard in a long time

This morning, driving down interstate at about 6:00 AM, I heard Va. State Police dispatcher call an area sergeant, "Culpeper to 2xx", trooper: "2xx go ahead", Dispatcher: "Do you have your FM on?" Trooper: "Negative "; Dispatcher: "They believe they have captured Saddam Hussein"; Trooper: "That's great news!"

I about drove off the rode!
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Old 12-14-2003, 4:44 PM
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My father was a VA. State Trooper after he came back from Korea. I was with him one night when a call came thru for a man chaseing his wife around the house with a brick in his hand. The dispatcher then said that is B-R-I-C-K I repeat B-R-I-C-K.
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