There's a pretty good explanation of how a statewide digital trunking system works at the following address:
http://www.geocities.com/mn_metroscan/800mhz_FAQ.htm
It's for the Minnesota system.
With the conventional systems, the transmitters put out a lot more radio power. The new systems, like what you have, put out a lot less. So while your compadre was calling you, he was on the Topeka tower, which probably didn't put out enough radio horsepower to where you could hear him. As you stated, when you're both on the same tower, you would.
That's probably somewhat of a blessing, because if all units could hear the car to car talkgroup all across the state, that talkgroup may become congested, in that so many would want to use it at the same time.
I don't know how your system is set-up, but if the affiliations are done in a certain way, you could switch to the Topeka talkgroup while you are in the coverage area for your post/district/troop, and then converse with the Topeka unit.
Places like Indiana and Minnesota do that so when a unit is travelling outside of his post/district/troop, he can remain in contact with the home place. Very similar to roaming on cell phones.