How do women in your lives react to your hobby of radios

[tanglong2009]

My girlfriend thinks it's weird. She calls both Scanning and Amateur Radio my "stalker hobby."

I've tried to explain it but it doesn't seem to interest her and she doesn't like it when I'm tinkering and "not paying attention to her." She is half kidding of course, but it does seem to weird her out a bit.

She especially finds it weird that I've talked to people on local 2m repeaters and then met them in person, gone to their house to check out their setup, etc. She thinks that part is almost creepy.

We just moved in together, and I'm setting up my monitoring post this weekend. She hasn't seen my whole setup yet (mostly because I didn't have enough room in my last apartment). This could get interesting folks!

my wife does't like may radio too! I have too many this kind radio .is a problem to me

 

[jmp883]

My wife understands my interest in radios, especially since I'm an emergency services dispatcher. On top of that, I am also a licensed ham and a scanner enthusiast. She has no interest in getting involved herself, however. My truck has both a 2m/70cm transceiver and a scanner mounted in it, but when my wife is with me I never turn them on. Because I work shift work I get plenty of time to play radio on my own.

 

[newsphotog]

My ex thought it was stupid. The ex after that was indifferent (I think it was under-education). My current girlfriend encourages it, and she even started studying for her ticket.

 

[AgentCOPP1]

My ex thought it was stupid. The ex after that was indifferent (I think it was under-education). My current girlfriend encourages it, and she even started studying for her ticket.

Climbing up the latter haha.

 

[ridgescan]

My girl doesn't mind my hobby at all-and when I get all dorky and tell her about something I caught on HF she goes along with love (God Bless her heart) she thinks my radios are generally cool especially the old boatanchor which she calls "the bomb". Her sister, however, came over to try something on my computer one day, and as she came into the room where the radios and computer are, she goes "oh you got a new computer?" but the rather imposing radio situation therein, which includes a 20"x10"x18"@75lbs.behemoth not 2' from the damn computer monitor, was of absolutely ZERO consequence to her. NOT impressed. It's as if they were invisible. Which makes a guy feel like he has a sickness, that he himself is so awed by such equipment, but the rest of his world zooms right by it
it's like that singing frog that only sang when no one else was around LOL

 

[DJ11DLN]

It does take a special sort of woman. Neither of my exes had the slightest interest in my scanners or my involvement in the F.D. or the Sheriff's Reserve program. "Turn that noise off" was heard frequently in the house. The current S.O. is supportive of it without wanting to get involved, and was thrilled to learn I was studying for my Technician test. She thought it was "neat," without really understanding what it's all about. We shall see.

My mother was an absolute scanner junkie and was frustrated when stuff started moving to Project Hoosier Safe-T and her faithful old BC560xlt couldn't hear it anymore. She always bugged me to find her "the new channels," but whenever I explained that she needed a new, expensive scanner to get them, she'd balk at that. Unfortunately, at the time I couldn't afford the extra $$$ to get her one. She always bugged me about how I never picked back up on my teenaged effort to get a Novice ticket (life intervened), and the current effort (30+ years late) is at least partly in her memory.

 

[novascotian]

My wife absolutely hates my radio hobby. She hates it on three levels. First of all she thinks the scanning part is completely immoral, to be listening in on private conversations. I protest that the airwaves are public, and she says, well why don't I go to the police station and tell them I listen to them?! That's a hard one to answer. The rest of radio she thinks is merely dumb and along the lines of "get a life". Then there is the noise or irritation factor. I used to have the scanner on during our driving vacations, for years really, and one day she blew up and said to get rid of it. Then there is the whole thing about the time spent on it, and the apparent keen interest in radio stuff, leading to the whole thing about "caring more about radios than I do about her" Radio is a huge area of contention and there are many days when I look at myself and ask how come I don't give it up, but it is pretty much hard to do that, so maybe it is like an addiction, what do you think? Are a lot of us addicted or obsessed with radio??

 

[LIScanner101]

I have come across people who think that people like me – who are into scanning - are weird, dorky, nerdy, lame, “need to get a life” etc you name it. I know VERY few people in my immediate circles who have even a passing interest in the hobby, so you can imagine it’s tough to talk to anyone about it. As far as my wife goes, she was pretty much indifferent to it until one day we were driving around the neighborhood and saw a SWAT team running into a house! At that point I told her “hey, I have an app for that!” and started listening in. She was pretty fascinated with it, but I think it’s ONLY because she had a somewhat “real” connection to what she heard – she saw something going on, and then she was able to listen in on it. However, I don’t think she’d have much interest in snapping a scanner on, sitting in a chair, and listening to things happening sight unseen miles away. I just don’t think it would hold her interest.
One of the things that she complained about is the use of codes. For example, a local FD dispatch comes on, says something like “XYZ Fire Department on the air with a signal x”. Next, you’ll here the chief say “I’m 22”, to which the dispatch will say “23 chief”. Then there may be a long silence in the chatter, and may end with “This is 950 signal 13”, to which you will hear “23 chief, all units signal 13 22:18”. For some strange reason, I find this interesting – but she finds it boring! I told her that most stuff you hear on FD around here will end up like that, she thinks it reduces the interest level on her part, and says "all you hear is 23 this, signal 9 that, signal 13". Oh well! Can't win 'em all!

 

[LIScanner101]

My wife absolutely hates my radio hobby. She hates it on three levels. First of all she thinks the scanning part is completely immoral, to be listening in on private conversations. I protest that the airwaves are public, and she says, well why don't I go to the police station and tell them I listen to them?! That's a hard one to answer. The rest of radio she thinks is merely dumb and along the lines of "get a life". Then there is the noise or irritation factor. I used to have the scanner on during our driving vacations, for years really, and one day she blew up and said to get rid of it. Then there is the whole thing about the time spent on it, and the apparent keen interest in radio stuff, leading to the whole thing about "caring more about radios than I do about her" Radio is a huge area of contention and there are many days when I look at myself and ask how come I don't give it up, but it is pretty much hard to do that, so maybe it is like an addiction, what do you think? Are a lot of us addicted or obsessed with radio??

See my post. I'm not having the same issues you're having but my wife clearly is only interested in scanning when she can hear AND see what she's listening to. It doesn't appear to catch her interest to hear just random stuff that she cannot visually relate to. In any case, it's like anything else. My wife's idea of an interesting evening is curling up on the couch and watching "The Housewives of (fill in the blank here"). She loves the catfights. Me? BOOOO-RIIIIINGGG!!! I LOVE surf casting and could spend an entire night casting into the surf without a single bite - and yet savor every second of it! However, my BIL and FIL politely think what I do is very boring. They love to golf, something I find COMPLETELY boring. Worse still, they watch it on TV. I find nothing else more boring than watching a guy play golf, it puts me to sleep. Everybody is different, that's my motto !!!

 

[WB4CS]

Wow, I feel sorry for some of you guys I think if I went through some of the things y'all have, I would still be single! lol

I still say I have a keeper and I'm very thankful for her. We're currently searching for our first house together and she's perfectly okay with the house being radio friendly as the number one priority. We've turned down some beautiful houses because they had HOA or restrictions or the neighbors were too close for comfort when it comes to transmitting. We're looking for something with a little bit of land and no close neighbors so I can put up antennas. And she's even okay with the multitude of antennas I plan to put up.

The only thing she doesn't like is if I carry my HT with me inside somewhere. If I'm wearing it and it's off she kind of makes fun of me, and if we're somewhere like a restaurant and it's on she get's a little mad. Says no one else wants to hear it. She's probably right Otherwise we get along great when it comes to my ham radio hobby.

She still has no interest at all in getting her license, but I've just about got her talked into getting one anyway. She took a practice test once and almost passed it (even with no radio or electronics knowledge) and while (in her mind) it's highly unlikely that we would need radio to get in touch with each other, she acknowledges that it's possible. But if she doesn't that's okay with me. She puts up with me and my radios, so I can respect her lack of interest in the hobby.

 

[DJ11DLN]

I have come across people who think that people like me – who are into scanning - are weird, dorky, nerdy, lame, “need to get a life” etc you name it. I know VERY few people in my immediate circles who have even a passing interest in the hobby, so you can imagine it’s tough to talk to anyone about it. As far as my wife goes, she was pretty much indifferent to it until one day we were driving around the neighborhood and saw a SWAT team running into a house! At that point I told her “hey, I have an app for that!” and started listening in. She was pretty fascinated with it, but I think it’s ONLY because she had a somewhat “real” connection to what she heard – she saw something going on, and then she was able to listen in on it. However, I don’t think she’d have much interest in snapping a scanner on, sitting in a chair, and listening to things happening sight unseen miles away. I just don’t think it would hold her interest.
One of the things that she complained about is the use of codes. For example, a local FD dispatch comes on, says something like “XYZ Fire Department on the air with a signal x”. Next, you’ll here the chief say “I’m 22”, to which the dispatch will say “23 chief”. Then there may be a long silence in the chatter, and may end with “This is 950 signal 13”, to which you will hear “23 chief, all units signal 13 22:18”. For some strange reason, I find this interesting – but she finds it boring! I told her that most stuff you hear on FD around here will end up like that, she thinks it reduces the interest level on her part, and says "all you hear is 23 this, signal 9 that, signal 13". Oh well! Can't win 'em all!

That at least for me is not an issue. Most of my friends are or have been Firefighters, EMT's, Reserve Officers, and so forth. Just about all of them have scanners. So we have yet another subject to chew the rag about. None of them are Hams, and some find my studying for my Technician license to be a bit odd, especially in view of my age, but the rest are either supportive of it or neutral about the whole thing. A couple have expressed the sort of "If you pass, I may look into it" kind of interest. I'm looking forward to getting to know the folks I listen to on the local repeaters, but having some existing friends to yack with would be nice too.

As to the other, Indiana is on a campaign to get rid of the 10-codes, signals, etc on Public Safety radio traffic, in favor of plain speech. I think it's a great idea. Every one of these is either readily available online or included in the box with new scanners, so it's not as if we're fooling anyone as to what we're doing. Some of them take longer to say than just stating what you are doing, ex. "On scene," vs "10-23." And the argument about not having the transmitter heated up any longer than necessary hasn't been an issue for years. If we need discreet communications, we just call Dispatch up on a cell phone. They're trying hard to push us into Hoosier Safe-T 800 MHz trunked but for now we're happily parked on VHF-Hi, all re-banded and ready to stay there for awhile. My department doesn't care who listens to us, with the exception of needing to communicate discreetly once in a blue moon, see above ref. cell phones.

 

[fxdscon]

My wife absolutely hates my radio hobby. She hates it on three levels. First of all she thinks the scanning part is completely immoral, to be listening in on private conversations. I protest that the airwaves are public, and she says, well why don't I go to the police station and tell them I listen to them?! That's a hard one to answer. The rest of radio she thinks is merely dumb and along the lines of "get a life". Then there is the noise or irritation factor. I used to have the scanner on during our driving vacations, for years really, and one day she blew up and said to get rid of it. Then there is the whole thing about the time spent on it, and the apparent keen interest in radio stuff, leading to the whole thing about "caring more about radios than I do about her" Radio is a huge area of contention and there are many days when I look at myself and ask how come I don't give it up, but it is pretty much hard to do that, so maybe it is like an addiction, what do you think? Are a lot of us addicted or obsessed with radio??

Just out of curiosity, what hobbies or leisure interests does she have, and does she expect you to be supportive of them, or is it important to her that you even show an interest in them?

.

 

[Spankymedic7]

To the OP, what a great topic! Thanks for starting this discussion.

When it comes to ham radio and my better half, I'm a lucky guy. She has absolutely NO interest at all in radio. Believe me, I've tried to get her into it. She says she has the internet and a cell phone and that's all she needs. Ok, that's fine with me. She has no issues with me putting up an antenna farm or towers, she doesn't mind that when we're in the car I'm chatting away on 2 meters, and she goes to every hamfest with me with a smile on her face.

Yep, she's a keeper

Way to go, Brandon! Yep, she's a keeper!

 

[Spankymedic7]

My girl doesn't mind my hobby at all-and when I get all dorky and tell her about something I caught on HF she goes along with love (God Bless her heart) she thinks my radios are generally cool especially the old boatanchor which she calls "the bomb". Her sister, however, came over to try something on my computer one day, and as she came into the room where the radios and computer are, she goes "oh you got a new computer?" but the rather imposing radio situation therein, which includes a 20"x10"x18"@75lbs.behemoth not 2' from the damn computer monitor, was of absolutely ZERO consequence to her. NOT impressed. It's as if they were invisible. Which makes a guy feel like he has a sickness, that he himself is so awed by such equipment, but the rest of his world zooms right by it
it's like that singing frog that only sang when no one else was around LOL

Lol, that's to funny. How could anyone NOT notice things of beauty? While I'm sure that my home setup isn't nearly as intense as yours, I'm more known for always having a portable radio on me...always. I've been carrying one for so long that my family looks at it as "just another cellphone".

 

[Spankymedic7]

My wife absolutely hates my radio hobby. She hates it on three levels. First of all she thinks the scanning part is completely immoral, to be listening in on private conversations. I protest that the airwaves are public, and she says, well why don't I go to the police station and tell them I listen to them?! That's a hard one to answer. The rest of radio she thinks is merely dumb and along the lines of "get a life". Then there is the noise or irritation factor. I used to have the scanner on during our driving vacations, for years really, and one day she blew up and said to get rid of it. Then there is the whole thing about the time spent on it, and the apparent keen interest in radio stuff, leading to the whole thing about "caring more about radios than I do about her" Radio is a huge area of contention and there are many days when I look at myself and ask how come I don't give it up, but it is pretty much hard to do that, so maybe it is like an addiction, what do you think? Are a lot of us addicted or obsessed with radio??

Wow,,you're in a pickle my friend. I'm sorry to hear that there's so much tension regarding your hobby. My wife fortunately likes it, she's even grabbed the mic and chatted with my friends. While she's a little intimidated by the HAM exam, she's definitely not afraid to get on the repeater(s) we use in GMRS. she even has 2 of her own UHF commercial HTs that she uses for both GMRS and the FD that we're both on.

I hope things turn around for you. As for your question about addiction... Yeah, I have to agree. I think that, to varying degrees, most of us are addicted. I always have an HT on me, and have a fleet of them, along with other various types of radios and scanners. There's NEVER a time where there's not at least one scanner and 1-2 HAM radios on in the house/car.

 

[DJ11DLN]

As to the other, Indiana is on a campaign to get rid of the 10-codes, signals, etc...

Sorry, FEMA is driving that, not Indiana. Slipped my mind, which is unfortunately not difficult these days!

 

[novascotian]

In regard to my wife hating my radio hobby, and what hobbies she has.... I think some people do not really have hobbies. Instead they like to just more or less spend their time interacting with their kids and spouse and friends. Which of course sounds really nice. So if the spouse (me, in this case) is into hobbies or even sports that are done with others, then I sure can see the frustration or worse, on both sides.

 

[LIScanner101]

In regard to my wife hating my radio hobby, and what hobbies she has.... I think some people do not really have hobbies. Instead they like to just more or less spend their time interacting with their kids and spouse and friends. Which of course sounds really nice. So if the spouse (me, in this case) is into hobbies or even sports that are done with others, then I sure can see the frustration or worse, on both sides.

BINGO - WE HAVE A WINNER !!

You hit it right on the head!

My wife is also one of those people that doesn't have a "hobby" or any kind of "interest". She's perfectly happy just being with me, the kids, her friends. That's perfectly fine - I love doing those things too!! However, I also like doing other things. I am an AVID surf caster (Long Island is blessed with hundreds of miles of fishable coastline), I like swimming, and of course I love the scanning hobby. So, I do agree with you - I can easily see how a spouse may feel a little frustrated, confused, bewildered, left out etc. For example, my wife doesn't mind at all that I "go fishing" per se, she just doesn't get why I would crawl out of a perfectly warm bed at 1:30AM, drive 100 miles, throw on a wetsuit and wade 300' into an inky black surf "just to catch fish" :lol: ! She would rather I just drive down to the local dock at 2PM and catch little snappers!

It may also be a regional issue too. I've NEVER seen ANYONE around here walking around with a radio on their belt, I myself might find that a little odd-looking (sorry guys!).

 

[Eickerman]

My wife of 31 years is supportive, but with certain limits.

I've been a ham for 49 years, and she bought me my first 2 M HT as a Christmas present long ago. She's fine that I have a hobby and even went to a hamfest with me once (bored as she might have been), because I have gone to quilt shows with her. I actually found that kind of interesting.

She is fine with me having my HF and 2M radio in my truck, but has no desire to see them showing up in her car. When we go somewhere in my truck she doesn't like to have either my radios or the AM/FM radio turned on. She wants us to be able to talk, and because of a hearing issue she has (PAD), the background noise is a problem. On long trips if we get "talked-out" she is OK with turning on a radio.

If my wife has to use my truck herself she prefers to have my antennas in the stowed position (which I have to do to get my truck in the garage). I think she feels silly driving around with the antennas sticking up. I get that. I admit that it's geeky. Hey, I'm going to Phoenix Comicon next week so Geeky-R-Me even at 61.

I do have a modest HF station in our home, but its not generally visible. It's actually in a walk-in closet which turned out to be pretty convenient for me. No I have not come out of the closet! She would be fine with me having a tower and beam antenna, but I can't because of deed restrictions at our current location. So my beam is dismantled and sitting on a shelf in the garage. :-(

She has no problem with me spending money on my hobby and actually I am the tightwad with myself in that respect. I think she feels kind of guilty because there can be some serious expenses related to quilting (sewing machines, sergers, cloth, etc.). I have no issues with her hobby expenses either. She does some great quilts.

Curtis Eickerman

 

[k3cfc]

My girlfriend thinks it's weird. She calls both Scanning and Amateur Radio my "stalker hobby."

I've tried to explain it but it doesn't seem to interest her and she doesn't like it when I'm tinkering and "not paying attention to her." She is half kidding of course, but it does seem to weird her out a bit.

She especially finds it weird that I've talked to people on local 2m repeaters and then met them in person, gone to their house to check out their setup, etc. She thinks that part is almost creepy.

We just moved in together, and I'm setting up my monitoring post this weekend. She hasn't seen my whole setup yet (mostly because I didn't have enough room in my last apartment). This could get interesting folks!

Just tell her it's no more creepy than her talking on the phone to a friend and going to her house for coffee and cookies. and don't forget the crystal and tupper ware parties. Hmmmm