• Effective immediately we will be deleting, without notice, any negative threads or posts that deal with the use of encryption and streaming of scanner audio.

    We've noticed a huge increase in rants and negative posts that revolve around agencies going to encryption due to the broadcasting of scanner audio on the internet. It's now worn out and continues to be the same recycled rants. These rants hijack the threads and derail the conversation. They no longer have a place anywhere on this forum other than in the designated threads in the Rants forum in the Tavern.

    If you violate these guidelines your post will be deleted without notice and an infraction will be issued. We are not against discussion of this issue. You just need to do it in the right place. For example:
    https://forums.radioreference.com/rants/224104-official-thread-live-audio-feeds-scanners-wait-encryption.html

Jokes - CLEAN ONLY

bill4long

Member
Premium Subscriber
Joined
Aug 6, 2012
Messages
709
Location
Earth
It's been observed that something is there but cosmologists don't know what so hence the name "dark" matter or "dark" energy.
It's more accurate to say that dark matter and dark energy are currently inferred from the evidence, the standard model, and inflation theory. But it doesn't mean they exist. It can also mean that the standard model and/or inflation is wrong.
 

mmisk

Member
Joined
Jul 4, 2003
Messages
558
Location
Ottawa, Canada
Are children who act in rated ‘R’ movies allowed to see them?
Do coffins have lifetime guarantees?
Do dentists go to other dentists or do they just do it themselves?
Do prison buses have emergency exits?
How do you handcuff a one-armed man?
How far east can you go before you’re heading west?
If a guy that was about to die in the electric chair had a heart attack should they save him?
If an ambulance is on its way to save someone, and it runs someone over, does it stop to help them?
If parents say, “Never take candy from strangers” then why do we celebrate Halloween?
What would happen to the sea’s water level if every fat lady in the world jumped in at the same time?
When does it stop being partly cloudy and start being partly sunny?
Why is the Lone Ranger called ‘Lone’ if he always has his Indian friend Tonto with him?
How do you know if the light in the fridge turns off when you close the door?
[Now I am getting a headache]
 

CrabbyMilton

Member
Joined
Jul 28, 2008
Messages
562
Are children who act in rated ‘R’ movies allowed to see them?
Do coffins have lifetime guarantees?
Do dentists go to other dentists or do they just do it themselves?
Do prison buses have emergency exits?
How do you handcuff a one-armed man?
How far east can you go before you’re heading west?
If a guy that was about to die in the electric chair had a heart attack should they save him?
If an ambulance is on its way to save someone, and it runs someone over, does it stop to help them?
If parents say, “Never take candy from strangers” then why do we celebrate Halloween?
What would happen to the sea’s water level if every fat lady in the world jumped in at the same time?
When does it stop being partly cloudy and start being partly sunny?
Why is the Lone Ranger called ‘Lone’ if he always has his Indian friend Tonto with him?
How do you know if the light in the fridge turns off when you close the door?
[Now I am getting a headache]
These are great!!!
You could apply the dentist line to a heart surgeon needing a bypass. :)
I used to think barbers cut their own hair but every barber I've had said they have another barber do it.

Here's one:

If you jump up and down in the same spot long enough, will the earth move under you?
 

poltergeisty

Deep Thinker
Joined
May 7, 2004
Messages
3,809
Location
RLG, Fly heading 053, intercept 315 DVV
A group of kindergartners were trying to become accustomed to the first grade. The biggest hurdle they faced was that the teacher insisted on no baby talk.

"You need to use 'big people' words," she'd always remind them.

She asked Chris what he had done over the weekend.

"I went to visit my Nana."

"No, you went to visit your GRANDMOTHER. Use big people words!"

She then asked Mitchell what he had done.

"I took a ride on a choo-choo."

She said, "No, you took a ride on a TRAIN. Use big people words."

She then asked Little Johnny what he had done.

"I read a book," he replied.

"That's WONDERFUL!" the teacher said. "What book did you read?"

Little Johnny thought about it, then puffed out his little chest with great pride and said, "Winnie the Sht."

 
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