• Effective immediately we will be deleting, without notice, any negative threads or posts that deal with the use of encryption and streaming of scanner audio.

    We've noticed a huge increase in rants and negative posts that revolve around agencies going to encryption due to the broadcasting of scanner audio on the internet. It's now worn out and continues to be the same recycled rants. These rants hijack the threads and derail the conversation. They no longer have a place anywhere on this forum other than in the designated threads in the Rants forum in the Tavern.

    If you violate these guidelines your post will be deleted without notice and an infraction will be issued. We are not against discussion of this issue. You just need to do it in the right place. For example:
    https://forums.radioreference.com/rants/224104-official-thread-live-audio-feeds-scanners-wait-encryption.html

Jokes - CLEAN ONLY

mmisk

Member
Joined
Jul 4, 2003
Messages
558
Location
Ottawa, Canada
Picked up a hitch hiker, seemed like a nice guy.
After a few miles he asked my if I was concerned he might be a serial killer.
I told him that that the chances of two serial killers being in the same car at the same time were very unlikely.
 

CrabbyMilton

Member
Joined
Jul 28, 2008
Messages
562
Ken had been going to this particular restaurant for lunch and dinner once in a while for several years. So naturally, he got to know the owner and one day he noticed a new machine in the kitchen as the door would open. It was stainless steel with 2 spigots which he thought was a soft serve type ice cream machine.

He asked the owner…”Hey David, are you going to start serving soft serve ice cream? I see that machine with 2 spigots so is one for vanilla and the other for chocolate?”

David the owner says…”Ken, you have a good eye for such things but no, that’s not an ice cream machine. You’ve had our famous fried chicken dinner many times and everyone seems to like it. Well, some people were asking for an alternative to the French fries that we serve with it. Hence, one spigot is for mashed potatoes and the other is for the gravy.”
 

poltergeisty

Deep Thinker
Joined
May 7, 2004
Messages
3,807
Location
RLG, Fly heading 053, intercept 315 DVV
A woman has twins and gives them up for adoption. One of them goes to a family in Egypt and is named Amal. The other goes to a family in Spain. They name him Juan.

Years later, Juan sends a picture of himself to his birth mother. Upon receiving the picture, she tells her husband that she wishes she also had a picture of Amal.

He responds, "They're twins! If you've seen Juan, you've seen Amal."
 

CrabbyMilton

Member
Joined
Jul 28, 2008
Messages
562
A mom, dad and their 5 year old are about to go out someplace. So Mom says to the 5 year old…”It might be a good idea if you went bathroom before we leave.” The 5 year old says…”BATHROOM” Ok what else do you want me to say?”
 

gordonbrittas

Member
Joined
Jun 1, 2016
Messages
69
Location
UK
I met someone who was very condescending last week and they told me they had studied at a snooty English public school.

I asked them if they were brought up at Eton or Eton (eaten) and brought up.

A friends Rottweiler dog was killed last week by a Chihuahua dog.

I asked my friend how this happened.

He said his Rottweiler choked while eating the Chihuahua.
 
Top