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My grandfather (SK) flew as the lead bombardier on many of his 30 missions** in the 8th Air Force. He couldn't talk about his experiences to someone like me- someone that never experienced anything like it. Not that he wouldn't, but there are somethings that can only be shared with others of similar experiences.
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Often I would sit quietly around some corner, out of sight, listening to him, my uncles-my father (Vietnam combat aviator) speaking in low tones, often in short sentences that could trail off in some remembrance. I knew I could never, ever be a part of that, so I listened from from darkned room corners.
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My grandfather knew I was fascinated by their stories, but could never bring himself to talk to me about them. He had a great sense of humour, and on one of my visits he gave me a copy of Catch-22.
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"It wasn't exactly like this, but somethings in life we have to laugh at or go crazy" he said---
"I think you'll like this story. If you see a little piece of me or your dad in there, then maybe you'll understand us better."
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I've read it four times
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There are so many quotable lines from the wisdom of Joseph Heller. But here is one, actually in keeping with this topic... on paranoia:
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“There were too many dangers for Yossarian to keep track of. There was Hitler, Mussolini and Tojo, for example, and they were all out to kill him."
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But this captured the whole essence of the book, and maybe it was the message he want'ed me to have;
".........Yossarian was a lead bombardier who had been demoted because he no longer gave a damn whether he missed or not. He had decided to live forever or die in the attempt, and his only mission each time he went up was to come down alive.”
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Lauri
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**He turned 21 shortly before his last mission. By that time he was had been awarded the Distinguish Flying Cross and the Air Metal with 4 Oak Leaf clusters- how can the average 20-something today, or Me, relate to that?
He went on to fly B36's in the the new Strategic Air Command (SAC)- as the 'observer" - I have joked with my father that he had his finger on one of the most awesome weapon of all time- a 20 megaton H-Bomb......
He retired an AF colonel, like my father.
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