RadioReference on Facebook   RadioReference on Twitter   RadioReference Blog
 

Go Back   The RadioReference.com Forums > The RadioReference Tavern > Everything else


Everything else - Wow, you made it this far and still not sure? Oh well, post it here anyway

Reply
 
LinkBack Thread Tools Search this Thread Display Modes
  #721 (permalink)  
Old 06-11-2013, 5:29 PM
Jimru's Avatar
Member
  Premium Subscriber
Premium Subscriber
Amateur Radio Operator
Amateur Radio
 
Join Date: Dec 2002
Location: Henrico County, VA
Posts: 1,300
Default Jokes - CLEAN ONLY

Quote:
Originally Posted by b7spectra View Post
When was Ed McMahon NOT drunk?
When he woke up in the morning, probably sometime before breakfast.

For a short while?
__________________
Addicted to all things radio for nearly 50 years, and proud of it!
Reply With Quote
Sponsored links
  #722 (permalink)  
Old 06-13-2013, 4:29 PM
b7spectra's Avatar
EMS Dispatcher
  Shack Photos
Shack photos
 
Join Date: Jul 2002
Location: Cobb County, GA
Posts: 3,382
Default

A young Texan grew up wanting to be a lawman.

He grew up big, 6' 2", strong as a longhorn, and fast as mustang.

He could shoot a bottle cap tossed in the air at 40 paces.

When he finally came of age, he applied to where he had only dreamed of working:

the West Texas Sheriff's Department.

After a series of tests and interviews, the Chief Deputy finally called him into his office for the young man's last interview. The Chief Deputy said, "You're a big strong kid and you can really shoot. So far your qualifications all look good, but we have, what you might call, an "Attitude Suitability Test", that you must take before you can be accepted. We just don't let anyone carry our badge, son."

Then, sliding a service pistol and a box of ammo across the desk, the Chief said, "Take this pistol and go out and shoot:

six illegal aliens

six lawyers,

six meth dealers,

six Muslim extremists,

six Democrats,

and a rabbit."

"Why the rabbit?" queried the applicant.

"You pass," said the Chief Deputy.

"When can you start?"
__________________


/
\/\|k.e

EMS Dispatcher/Advanced EMD Certified
EMT/Paramedic, retired
Reply With Quote
  #723 (permalink)  
Old 06-13-2013, 6:05 PM
Member
  Amateur Radio Operator
Amateur Radio
 
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: Davenport,Fl.- home to me and the gators and the skeeters.
Posts: 1,586
Default LMAO!

A very good one sir!!!
__________________
Freedom, a beautiful way of life.
Pro-107, Pro-44, Pro-94, Pro-2006, DX-440
FT-2900R, FT-101EE, HTX-202, IIC-2AT, BTX-121, UV-5R, KT-7900D
Reply With Quote
  #724 (permalink)  
Old 06-15-2013, 10:34 PM
RDGDigital's Avatar
Member
   
Join Date: Mar 2012
Location: MD - Eastern Shore
Posts: 352
Default The Tomato Garden

An old gentleman lived alone in New Jersey. He wanted to plant his annual tomato garden, but it was very difficult work, as the ground was hard. His only son, Vincent, who used to help him, was in prison. The old man wrote a letter to his son and described his predicament:
Dear Vincent,
I am feeling pretty sad because it looks like I won't be able to plant my tomato garden this year. I'm just getting too old to be digging up a garden plot. I know if you were here my troubles would be over. I know you would be happy to dig the plot for me, like the old days.
Love, Papa
A few days later he received a letter from his son.
Dear Papa,
Don't dig up that garden. That's where the bodies are buried.
Love, Vinnie
At 4 a.m. the next morning, FBI agents and local police arrived and dug up the entire area without finding any bodies. They apologized to the old man and left. That same day the old man received another letter from his son.
Dear Papa,
Go ahead and plant the tomatoes now. That's the best I could do under the circumstances.
Love you,
Vinnie
__________________
Rick
TRX-1 | WS1080 | PSR-800 (with WS1080 Firmware)
Reply With Quote
  #725 (permalink)  
Old 06-16-2013, 12:09 AM
poltergeisty's Avatar
Member
   
Join Date: May 2004
Location: RLG, Fly heading 053, intercept 315 DVV, look for the SAM
Posts: 3,646
Default

That's good!
__________________
My Forum Project

This Sig may or may not get purged from the database...
Reply With Quote
Sponsored links
  #726 (permalink)  
Old 06-18-2013, 11:06 AM
russellmaher's Avatar
Member
  Shack Photos
Shack photos
Premium Subscriber
Premium Subscriber
Amateur Radio Operator
Amateur Radio
 
Join Date: Apr 2010
Location: Enfield, CT
Posts: 982
Default

This man was sitting and reading his paper when his wife enters the house, she approaches him in a most provocative manner. "Have you ever seen a twenty dollar bill all crumpled up?" asks the wife in a soft sweet voice.

Not knowing what to make of this situation he replies, "No."

Pursing her lips she gives him a sexy little smile, reaches into her cleavage and slowly pulls out a crumpled up twenty dollar bill.

Then stepping closer in she asks in a low sexy voice, "Have you ever seen a fifty all crumpled up?"

Intrigued, he answers, "Uh, no."

She gives him another sexy little smile, seductively reaches into her panties and ever so slowly removes a crumpled fifty dollar bill.

"Now," she says as she leans down and whispers, "have you ever seen 30,000 dollars all crumpled up?"

Totally confused and excited he stammers, "No-o-o-o-o."

"Well," she whispers in his ear, "then go look in the garage..."
__________________
SEMPER PARATUS

BCD436HP HP-1 BCD396T BCT-7 BC350C PRO-2052 ICOM R-75 BC175XL REGENCY R-1050 TDXone TD-Q8A YAESU FTM3200DR FT70DR
Reply With Quote
  #727 (permalink)  
Old 06-18-2013, 3:15 PM
b7spectra's Avatar
EMS Dispatcher
  Shack Photos
Shack photos
 
Join Date: Jul 2002
Location: Cobb County, GA
Posts: 3,382
Default

Be careful what you buy on eBay.

If you buy stuff on line, check out the seller carefully.

A neighbor here in Garson has just spent $95, plus sales tax, on a penis enlarger.

Bastards sent him a magnifying glass.

The only instructions said, "Do not use in sunlight."
__________________


/
\/\|k.e

EMS Dispatcher/Advanced EMD Certified
EMT/Paramedic, retired
Reply With Quote
  #728 (permalink)  
Old 07-07-2013, 2:36 AM
b7spectra's Avatar
EMS Dispatcher
  Shack Photos
Shack photos
 
Join Date: Jul 2002
Location: Cobb County, GA
Posts: 3,382
Default

Barack O'Bama
__________________


/
\/\|k.e

EMS Dispatcher/Advanced EMD Certified
EMT/Paramedic, retired
Reply With Quote
  #729 (permalink)  
Old 07-07-2013, 11:29 PM
poltergeisty's Avatar
Member
   
Join Date: May 2004
Location: RLG, Fly heading 053, intercept 315 DVV, look for the SAM
Posts: 3,646
Default

Best joke ever! LMAO!
__________________
My Forum Project

This Sig may or may not get purged from the database...
Reply With Quote
  #730 (permalink)  
Old 07-09-2013, 9:13 PM
AB4BF's Avatar
Member
  Shack Photos
Shack photos
Amateur Radio Operator
Amateur Radio
 
Join Date: Apr 2008
Location: West of North
Posts: 355
Default

Dear Abby,

I am a crack dealer in Beaumont, TX who has recently been diagnosed as a carrier of HIV virus. My parents live in Fort Worth and one of my sisters, who lives in Pflugerville, is married to a transvestite. My father and mother have recently been arrested for growing and selling marijuana. They are financially dependent on my other two sisters, who are prostitutes in Dallas.
I have two brothers; one is currently serving a non-parole life sentence at Huntsville for the murder of a teenage boy in 1994. My other brother is currently in jail awaiting charges of sexual misconduct with his three children.
I have recently become engaged to marry a former prostitute who lives in Longview. She is a part time "working girl." All things considered, my problem is this. I love my fiancee and look forward to bringing her into the family. I certainly want to be totally open and honest with her. Should I tell her about my cousin who supported Barack Obama for President?....... Signed, Worried About My reputation.
Reply With Quote
  #731 (permalink)  
Old 07-10-2013, 5:33 AM
russellmaher's Avatar
Member
  Shack Photos
Shack photos
Premium Subscriber
Premium Subscriber
Amateur Radio Operator
Amateur Radio
 
Join Date: Apr 2010
Location: Enfield, CT
Posts: 982
Default

That IS funny!


Russell
__________________
SEMPER PARATUS

BCD436HP HP-1 BCD396T BCT-7 BC350C PRO-2052 ICOM R-75 BC175XL REGENCY R-1050 TDXone TD-Q8A YAESU FTM3200DR FT70DR
Reply With Quote
  #732 (permalink)  
Old 07-12-2013, 2:24 PM
AB4BF's Avatar
Member
  Shack Photos
Shack photos
Amateur Radio Operator
Amateur Radio
 
Join Date: Apr 2008
Location: West of North
Posts: 355
Default

In ancient Israel , it came to pass that a trader by the name of Abraham Com
did take unto himself a healthy young wife by the name of Dorothy. Dot was
her nickname.

Now Dot Com was a comely woman, large of breast, broad of shoulder
and long of leg. Indeed, she was often called Amazon Dot Com.

And she said unto Abraham, her husband, "Why dost thou travel so far
from town to town with thy goods when thou canst trade without ever
leaving thy tent?"

And Abraham did look at her as though she were several saddle bags
short of a camel load, but simply said, "How, dear?"

And Dot replied, "I will place drums in all the towns and drums in
between to send messages saying what you have for sale, and they will
reply telling you who hath the best price. The sale can be made on
the drums and delivery made by Uriah's Pony Stable (UPS)."

Abraham thought long and decided he would let Dot have her way with
the drums.

And the drums rang out and the business was an immediate success.
Abraham sold all the goods he had at the top price, without ever having
to move from his tent.

To prevent neighboring countries from overhearing what the drums were
saying, Dot devised a system that only she and the drummers knew. It
was known as Must Send Drum Over Sound (MSDOS), and she also developed
a language to transmit ideas and pictures - Hebrew To The People (HTTP).

And the young men did take to Dot Com's trading as doth the greedy
horsefly take to camel dung. They were called Nomadic Ecclesiastical
Rich Dominican Sybarites, or NERDS.

And lo, the land was so feverish with joy at the new riches and the
deafening sound of drums that no one noticed that the real riches were
going to that enterprising drum dealer, Brother William of Gates, who
bought off every drum maker in the land. Indeed he did insist on
drums to be made that would work only with Brother Gates' drumheads
and drumsticks.

And Dot did say, "Oh, Abraham, what we have started is being taken
over by others."

And Abraham looked out over the Bay of Ezekiel , or eBay as it came to be known.

He said, "We need a name that reflects what we are."

And Dot replied, "Young Ambitious Hebrew Owner Operators."

"YAHOO," said Abraham.

And because it was Dot's idea, they named it YAHOO Dot Com.

Abraham's cousin, Joshua, being the young Gregarious Energetic
Educated Kid (GEEK) that he was, soon started using Dot's drums to
locate things around the countryside.

It soon became known as God's Own Official Guide to Locating
Everything (GOOGLE).

That is how it all began.
And that's the truth.
Reply With Quote
  #733 (permalink)  
Old 07-12-2013, 3:23 PM
Jimru's Avatar
Member
  Premium Subscriber
Premium Subscriber
Amateur Radio Operator
Amateur Radio
 
Join Date: Dec 2002
Location: Henrico County, VA
Posts: 1,300
Default Jokes - CLEAN ONLY

Amen, brother Barry!
__________________
Addicted to all things radio for nearly 50 years, and proud of it!
Reply With Quote
  #734 (permalink)  
Old 07-12-2013, 3:33 PM
Member
  Amateur Radio Operator
Amateur Radio
 
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: Davenport,Fl.- home to me and the gators and the skeeters.
Posts: 1,586
Default LMAO!!!

Now I've read everything...
__________________
Freedom, a beautiful way of life.
Pro-107, Pro-44, Pro-94, Pro-2006, DX-440
FT-2900R, FT-101EE, HTX-202, IIC-2AT, BTX-121, UV-5R, KT-7900D
Reply With Quote
  #735 (permalink)  
Old 07-12-2013, 3:44 PM
russellmaher's Avatar
Member
  Shack Photos
Shack photos
Premium Subscriber
Premium Subscriber
Amateur Radio Operator
Amateur Radio
 
Join Date: Apr 2010
Location: Enfield, CT
Posts: 982
Default

Thanks Barry! I've often wondered where those acronyms came from. lol


Russell
__________________
SEMPER PARATUS

BCD436HP HP-1 BCD396T BCT-7 BC350C PRO-2052 ICOM R-75 BC175XL REGENCY R-1050 TDXone TD-Q8A YAESU FTM3200DR FT70DR
Reply With Quote
  #736 (permalink)  
Old 07-13-2013, 7:10 AM
poltergeisty's Avatar
Member
   
Join Date: May 2004
Location: RLG, Fly heading 053, intercept 315 DVV, look for the SAM
Posts: 3,646
Default

Secular progressive idiots.
__________________
My Forum Project

This Sig may or may not get purged from the database...
Reply With Quote
  #737 (permalink)  
Old 07-13-2013, 4:30 PM
RadioDaze's Avatar
Member
  Premium Subscriber
Premium Subscriber
 
Join Date: Oct 2006
Location: Orange County, California, USA
Posts: 2,025
Default

"...decided he would let Dot have her way with the drums."

Anybody have video of that?
__________________
"'Anybody with fewer radios than me is a loser; anyone with more is a lunatic' may be the quote of the year." -datainmotion
Reply With Quote
  #738 (permalink)  
Old 07-13-2013, 4:35 PM
Jimru's Avatar
Member
  Premium Subscriber
Premium Subscriber
Amateur Radio Operator
Amateur Radio
 
Join Date: Dec 2002
Location: Henrico County, VA
Posts: 1,300
Default Jokes - CLEAN ONLY

A taxi passenger leaned over to ask the driver a question and gently tapped him on the shoulder to get his attention.

The driver screamed, lost control of the cab, nearly hit a bus, drove up and over a curb, and stopped just inches from a large plate window.

For a few moments everything was silent in the cab. Then, the shaking driver said, "Are you okay? I'm so sorry, but you scared the daylights out of me."

The badly shaken passenger apologized to the driver and said, "I didn't realize that a mere tap on the shoulder would startle someone so badly."

The driver replied, "No, no, I'm the one who is sorry, it's entirely my fault. Today is my very first day driving a cab. I've been driving a hearse for 25 years.”
__________________
Addicted to all things radio for nearly 50 years, and proud of it!
Reply With Quote
  #739 (permalink)  
Old 07-18-2013, 6:48 AM
AB4BF's Avatar
Member
  Shack Photos
Shack photos
Amateur Radio Operator
Amateur Radio
 
Join Date: Apr 2008
Location: West of North
Posts: 355
Default

The skunk has replaced the Eagle as the new symbol of the American Presidency. It is half black, half white, and everything it does stinks. It is said that: If you give a man a fish you will feed him for a day. If you teach a man to fish you feed him for a lifetime! New Obama Proverb: If you give a man hope of getting a job, he will vote Democrat for a year! If you give a man a welfare check, a free cell phone, free internet, food stamps, section 8 housing, free contraceptives, ninety-nine weeks of unemployment, free health care and free medicine... He will vote Democrat the rest of his life and several more times after he's dead.
Reply With Quote
  #740 (permalink)  
Old 07-20-2013, 7:34 AM
AB4BF's Avatar
Member
  Shack Photos
Shack photos
Amateur Radio Operator
Amateur Radio
 
Join Date: Apr 2008
Location: West of North
Posts: 355
Default

Two convicts were talking one day.

"I heard the warden's daughter up and married a guy down on cellblock D," the first con says to the other. "The warden's mighty upset about it too."

"Why?" asks the second prisoner. "Because she married a con?"

"No. Because they eloped."

Reply With Quote
Reply

Thread Tools Search this Thread
Search this Thread:

Advanced Search
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is Off
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are On



All times are GMT -5. The time now is 4:44 PM.


Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.2
Copyright ©2000 - 2018, vBulletin Solutions, Inc.
All information here is Copyright 2012 by RadioReference.com LLC and Lindsay C. Blanton III.Ad Management by RedTyger
Copyright 2015 by RadioReference.com LLC Privacy Policy  |  Terms and Conditions