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General Scanning Discussion - For general questions not specific to a model of scanner or general discussion of use of a scanner. Manufacturer specific posts should be directed to the appropriate forums below and location specific posts should go in the appropriate regional forum..

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  #3101 (permalink)  
Old 02-22-2012, 8:58 PM
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Heard this one the other day at about 2 AM.

Dispatch: Car 10, take XXX ...Street Apt #1, for the female reporting Abraham Lincoln in her apartment trying to kill her.

About 10 mins later...

Car 10: Car 10 to (city name), I'll be clear..Abe Lincoln is GOA.
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  #3102 (permalink)  
Old 02-25-2012, 1:10 AM
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We had two good ones here today:

Cop1 Hey XXXX, Can you run down to the garage and grab a slim jim out of the back of one of the squads ?

Cop2 Umm I guess.

Cop1 Great! Can you run over to XXXX St. and help someone who locked themselves out of their car?

Cop2 Why don't they just call AAA?

Cop1 I would, but my phone's locked in the car...

Cop2 (Laughing) Ok, give me 10mins.


#2

(Multiple Cops arriving at what was dispatched as a person getting ready to drive drunk after a domestic)

Cop1 You can slow all cars.

Disp. Copy. Are you code 4? (Everything's good)

Cop1 Well, we will be.

Disp. You will be?

Cop1 Ya, as soon as we can get him out of his car.

Disp. Was there an accident? I can start FD for extrication.

Cop1 Negative... He's just to drunk to operate his door.... HEY HE GOT IT! (Cops in the background clapping)

Last edited by N0WEF; 02-25-2012 at 1:13 AM..
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  #3103 (permalink)  
Old 02-25-2012, 9:35 AM
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Just heard last night in Delaware County, PA, when the police were advised of an animal complaint:

Cop 1: Did you say a couple of skanks, or a couple of skunks?
Dispatcher: Um, that was skunks.
Cop 2: Whhheeewww!

A few minutes later:
Cop 1: I'm in the area, nothing smellin' (instead of nothing showing)

I got a good laugh out of that one
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  #3104 (permalink)  
Old 02-27-2012, 5:41 AM
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Wirelessly posted (BlackBerry8530/5.0.0.973 Profile/MIDP-2.1 Configuration/CLDC-1.1 VendorID/105)

About two hours ago:
We'll need another transport unit; we lost both wheels off the back of the truck.
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  #3105 (permalink)  
Old 02-29-2012, 9:42 PM
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Patrolman 1: (singing) "I'm siiiinging in the rain..."

Patrolman 2: "I thought small dying animal keyed your mic."
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  #3106 (permalink)  
Old 03-17-2012, 12:31 PM
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Officer "Holy S---!! Multiple shots fired!! It's coming from the west of me about a block.(Addr given) I can't get over there unless I get out of my car, and I'm not doing that till I get backup"

Dispatch "You mean it's coming from our gun range?"

Officer "aaaaaaaaahhhhhh Disregard."
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  #3107 (permalink)  
Old 03-17-2012, 4:08 PM
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1. ems call. "respond to the post office.male passed out".
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  #3108 (permalink)  
Old 03-17-2012, 5:01 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by pdfdems286 View Post
1. ems call. "respond to the post office.male passed out".
Lol, sort of like a suspicious person check!

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  #3109 (permalink)  
Old 03-17-2012, 9:49 PM
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Many years ago, Wells Maine officers were chasing a car. One officer pulls up beside the car they were chasing and thinking he had it on PA asked the driver, "Where the F*&k do you think you're going? Trouble was he was on the radio and it broadcast out to everyone!!


Back in the 90's I worked security at an auto dealership in Portsmouth NH. One night I was cruising around and I heard one of their officers asking another one if they had security at "Blank" Dealership cause he was watching a small car with a large antenna cruising around afterhours. The 2nd officer laughed and said yes they do and he's probably listening to you at this very moment. [he knew I had every frequency they talked on.]. Within minutes BOTH officers were in and chatting with me the 1st officer was staring at my antennas and gear. [He'd only seen the 102" whip and not the ham and scanner antennas on the roof.]
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  #3110 (permalink)  
Old 03-17-2012, 10:27 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by reedeb View Post
Many years ago, Wells Maine officers were chasing a car. One officer pulls up beside the car they were chasing and thinking he had it on PA asked the driver, "Where the F*&k do you think you're going? Trouble was he was on the radio and it broadcast out to everyone!!


Back in the 90's I worked security at an auto dealership in Portsmouth NH. One night I was cruising around and I heard one of their officers asking another one if they had security at "Blank" Dealership cause he was watching a small car with a large antenna cruising around afterhours. The 2nd officer laughed and said yes they do and he's probably listening to you at this very moment. [he knew I had every frequency they talked on.]. Within minutes BOTH officers were in and chatting with me the 1st officer was staring at my antennas and gear. [He'd only seen the 102" whip and not the ham and scanner antennas on the roof.]
Lol, oops!

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  #3111 (permalink)  
Old 03-18-2012, 7:28 AM
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Two somewhat humorous EMS calls the other day.

The first was for a man who'd had bladder surgery and was now complaining that his testicles were swollen to the size of golf balls and "they hurt really bad."

The second was for a woman who was "hit in the head with a frying pan."
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  #3112 (permalink)  
Old 03-18-2012, 9:03 AM
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I would here a police officer say coffee instead of saying copy. I get kick out of that, i wish i could here it more.
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  #3113 (permalink)  
Old 03-18-2012, 11:57 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by creators4 View Post
I would here a police officer say coffee instead of saying copy. I get kick out of that, i wish i could here it more.
Like one of our local small-town departments yesterday...

Dispatcher: "## car, respond Code 3 urgent to QuickChek for a 10-93."
Patrolman: "10-4. Want milk and sugar?"
Dispatcher: (Yelling to back of headquarters w/ radio keyed) "Hey Lieutenant! Want milk and sugar??"
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  #3114 (permalink)  
Old 03-19-2012, 10:12 AM
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On St Patty's day I heard the local police when he was leaving the station...."leprechaun one now left station"
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  #3115 (permalink)  
Old 03-19-2012, 1:28 PM
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Units were dispatched to a pulse less female in a bar's bathroom (dispatched as an OD). Once the PD gets there they discover she has a pulse but is not responsive. They take her to the hospital where she wakes up. And here what was said once she woke up.

Unit XXX: Unit YYY what did you want me to ask this female again?
Unit YYY: Why she was laying in the floor of the employees bathroom passed out.
Unit XXX: 10-4
Unit YYY: You also might want to ask her what that white power around her nose is.
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  #3116 (permalink)  
Old 03-19-2012, 1:53 PM
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Years ago while living in So Cal. I heard the LA County Sheriff's dispatcher put out a bear sighting call in his best Yogi Bear voice! It was hilarious! A few years down the road I head something similar with LASD but not quite as impressive as the first. I thought for sure he was gonna get crap for it but instead everyone on that stations LTac channel were lughin their butts off talkin about it!
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  #3117 (permalink)  
Old 03-22-2012, 3:27 PM
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Listening to Fire Operations channel..

Dispatch: Car[#] responding at 14:15.

Car[#]: Dispatch, were is this call located?

Dispatch: For all fire appararus responding to the Car Accident on ___________, [Gives Directions]

Car[#]: Arriving, establishing command. Car[#] to Engine[#]

Engine[#]: [#] On.

Car[#]: ETA?

Engine[#]: Uh, dispatch, how do we get there?

Dispatch: ......

I luaghed so hard.
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  #3118 (permalink)  
Old 03-22-2012, 4:34 PM
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Car 1: Hey, 2, do you have a laptop in your car?
Car 2: No, zip, zilch, nadda, negative, nope.
Car 1: So you're saying that's a no?
Car 2: Yes.
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  #3119 (permalink)  
Old 03-22-2012, 5:06 PM
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K9 Officer: [Unit ID] I'll be in serv.... (Interrupted by his K9 barking)
K9 Officer: My partner wants to let you know that he's in service also
Dispatcher: (Laughing) Received.
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  #3120 (permalink)  
Old 03-22-2012, 8:23 PM
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Listening to my scanner last night and I heard EMS roll on an elderly gentlemen that has constipation. They rolled an ambulance for constipation! ???? Our tax money at work.
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