I am thinking about mounting a GMRS radio in my car -- they are so cheap and given the licensing requirement, while not difficult to acquire, is still a barrier that will make it potentially more useful that CB radio
Good radios are not cheap. Don't be fooled by the low end Midland GMRS mobile radios. There are a good option for some users, but they have an issue when it comes to running with repeaters. GMRS allows running 5kHz deviation on the GMRS channels, many repeaters are running this. Since the Midland radio only does 2.5kHz deviation, it's going to have issues. Audio will sound quiet and you'll probably get complaints.
You can do better, but you'll need to purchase a new or used commercial radio that has the FCC Part 95A certification. Many Kenwood commercial radios and some older Icom mobiles will meet this requirement. You cannot legally use any amateur radios on GMRS, so don't go that route, and stay away from the low tier Chinese radios.
because random people won't lawfully drop in reeking havoc...as much.
Uh, yeah.
Some GMRS repeaters do have this issue. There are unlicensed GMRS users. There are some amateur radio operators that mistakenly assume their license allows access to GMRS. There are some businesses that legally and illegally use GMRS. There are lots of issues, don't assume that GMRS will be void of the shenanigans you hear on CB and amateur radio.
But I don't have a family or anyone else who might use one so if I went through the trouble and expense it would surely be just a lonely radio display.
I'll suggest that unless you get into a group that is active on GMRS, you may find that using it for random contacts, like you would on CB or amateur radio, isn't common. Usually people are using GMRS for family/personal communications. Not saying you will not find any random contacts, but you may be disappointed if this is what you are looking for.
That is unless I joined a repeater. But I am not sure I understand how one "gets on" a GMRS repeater exactly. Are they open to the public? Do I pay someone a fee?
Start here:
https://www.mygmrs.com
This will tell you about any GMRS repeaters in your area. Contact the repeater owner and talk to them. They'll tell you if they charge a usage fee, and they can let you know if there are a group of users that use it for random chit-chat.
Take this as more a prompt for someone to explain to me the basics.
Basics are you need:
-Your GMRS license.
-A suitable radio (Must have FCC Part 95A certification), don't go with the cheap Chinese stuff.
-You
will need a decent antenna on your car. No point in installing a $300 radio and then hooking it up to a $10 cheap antenna.
-Permission to use the repeater. They are considered "private property".
-Don't let anyone tell you to hack an amateur radio to work on GMRS. They are not legal for use there.
You may find that after you've used GMRS for a while, you'll want something more. GMRS can be a good "gateway" service that leads to amateur radio. You can -legally- program a commercial UHF radio to work on the 70cm amateur radio band
You may want to consider just getting your amateur radio license. If making random contacts is what you are looking for, it can be a better resource with a lot more capabilities.