I found this in my humour file. It is a little dated, but I hope you enjoy it. I ask that you all have a safe, and enjoyable Holiday Season.
FORGET IT, SMOKEY, HE'LL SLEIGH YOU .
The following manuscript, is believed to have been left by a
transient elf, at the UPI bureau in Spokane.
'Twas the night before Christmas, And all through the nation;
State troopers were waiting, Each man at his station.
Why are they lurking with siren and light?
For that bold perpetrator Of Christmas Eve night.
He rides through the night, Flouting all the laws.
He is known on the posters, As one Mr. S. Claus.
For years he's been coming, on cold winter nights,
But his little red carriage has no proper lights.
The law is simple. The words are quite stark.
An unlighted sleigh box, is a crime in the dark.
Long ago it was worse, but he's not done his duty,
By rigging his team, To a critter named Rudy.
A little red beacon, with a flash and a blink.
My gosh, if they catch him, he'll land in the clink.
The lights must be brighter, A beam white and bold,
To show him the way, up there in the cold.
And brake lights, and stop lights, And emergency flashers;
To light up the sky For the Dancers and Dashers.
Plus seatbelts, and mirrors, and his wipers need fixin',
To make the night safe For Prancer and vixen.
A whole grand array . . . He can't be so stupid.
To imperil the lives of Comet and cupid.
As his rush to the south, takes him through every state;
His sleigh is not marked, with its maximum weight.
And the EPA people will join the patrols.
They know that the team Lacks emission controls.
But these agents, and watchers, And old Smokey Bears;
Are not listed among, This night rider's cares.
His soul is untroubled . . He won't give a fig;
His wife has just bought him A Citizens' Rig.
He'll the monitor channels, from one up to twenty;
And even this night, He'll have helpers a plenty.
They'll warn him of speed traps where smokey might lurk.
He'll avoid all the pitfalls and finish his work.
In case you've not guessed it, His handle is Kringle.
He rides every year with his bells all ajingle.
You may hear his transmission, In a voice very bright
"MERRY CHRISTMAS, GOOD BUDDY, And to all a good night."
FORGET IT, SMOKEY, HE'LL SLEIGH YOU .
The following manuscript, is believed to have been left by a
transient elf, at the UPI bureau in Spokane.
'Twas the night before Christmas, And all through the nation;
State troopers were waiting, Each man at his station.
Why are they lurking with siren and light?
For that bold perpetrator Of Christmas Eve night.
He rides through the night, Flouting all the laws.
He is known on the posters, As one Mr. S. Claus.
For years he's been coming, on cold winter nights,
But his little red carriage has no proper lights.
The law is simple. The words are quite stark.
An unlighted sleigh box, is a crime in the dark.
Long ago it was worse, but he's not done his duty,
By rigging his team, To a critter named Rudy.
A little red beacon, with a flash and a blink.
My gosh, if they catch him, he'll land in the clink.
The lights must be brighter, A beam white and bold,
To show him the way, up there in the cold.
And brake lights, and stop lights, And emergency flashers;
To light up the sky For the Dancers and Dashers.
Plus seatbelts, and mirrors, and his wipers need fixin',
To make the night safe For Prancer and vixen.
A whole grand array . . . He can't be so stupid.
To imperil the lives of Comet and cupid.
As his rush to the south, takes him through every state;
His sleigh is not marked, with its maximum weight.
And the EPA people will join the patrols.
They know that the team Lacks emission controls.
But these agents, and watchers, And old Smokey Bears;
Are not listed among, This night rider's cares.
His soul is untroubled . . He won't give a fig;
His wife has just bought him A Citizens' Rig.
He'll the monitor channels, from one up to twenty;
And even this night, He'll have helpers a plenty.
They'll warn him of speed traps where smokey might lurk.
He'll avoid all the pitfalls and finish his work.
In case you've not guessed it, His handle is Kringle.
He rides every year with his bells all ajingle.
You may hear his transmission, In a voice very bright
"MERRY CHRISTMAS, GOOD BUDDY, And to all a good night."
