I have had some similar issues with the remote kit for the VM series mobiles.
There is no option in the programming software to "Turn on" the remote. When you attach the remote kit, it should power on as normal.
With that being said, the issue I had, was the firmware in the radio, was different than in the remote kit. Yes there is firmware in the remote head control unit.
Are you getting a blank screen? Or are you getting the Viking logo, and just sit there?
Are you sure the radio shop that ordered the remote kit, ordered the one from EFJohnson, and not kenwood?
They look very similar, and actual exchange a few part numbers, but the plastic shell that goes onto the head, is different. It should have a USB cable attached to it.
Hope that helps.