Funny CB Stories

[tvengr]

Many years ago, there was an Italian Baltimore City Police officer who went by the handle of Wop Cop on CB radio. I was parked up in Joppatowne MD listening to my old Lafayette HE-20C when a local police officer walked by. Someone on the radio yelled, "Hey Wop Cop" and the officer turned and gave me a dirty look. I had a hard time convincing him that it was the radio and not me.

There was a Baltimore City officer who worked radar. I saw him doing his job many times. When I heard him on the CB, I would say, "Hey Boz, I saw you at so and so location." He would reply, "Rats, did I miss you again?"

My uncle in Pittsburgh had the CB radio in his car turned up and stood at his upstairs window with a portable radio watching people go by. Three kids walked by the car and he made an announcement about 3 kids wanted by the police and gave their descriptions. They looked at each other and ran.

 

[slowmover]

Delete

 

[slowmover]

I’d say that most of the fun with CB is where I’ve heard commentary on a windshield view shared by several. “The Price of Stupid” being on full display. How the hell did he do that?

You had to be there
Is a lot of stories.

Example: This hand realized an urgent call of nature wasn’t gonna wait very long as he was going empty at his delivery site (inadvertent shortcut of procedure; major truckstops at this area). Was that the real story? No, but we decided it was the one we liked the best.



My general purpose fits-the-topic story was being southbound on IH-81 one fine morning and a guy complained about an irritating wodger bip . . well, there was a pause on that heavily trafficked portion as we passed the John Wayne Drive T/A.

And then 19 came alive with every noise toy known to man. (There once was a catalog listing of 50 or more).

I turned my GALAXY 99 to its robot voice changer setting to ask inane questions. And set up an irritating wodger bip . . with endless echo.



So, not a funny story itself, but willingness to join in spirited high jinks for a few moments. (All over within a few minutes).

My all around favorite is actually a tactic: get your wife to ask the question (re-phrased) to which no one’s responded the past three miles.

.

 

[makerdino059]

Overheard this morning while scanning AM frequencies. " Y'all accused him of sucking on a water hose so what am I supposed to do?"

 

[DeeEx]

When I was a teenager, I thought it was “cool” to clip one’s modulation limiter and run an amp.

I had a K5 Blazer with a 108” whip and was running a 4x2SC2879 amp. I think I always ran the amp on high power.

I backed into a parking space nearly touching the live music venue I was meeting some friends at. My antenna was probably about 20 feet from the soundboard inside.

I keyed up to let my friends know I was there and when I unkeyed the mic my voice echoed out of the PA system at full volume. You could hear everyone inside doing a collective “what the heck was that” type reaction. I hadn’t intended to do that and found it amusing at the time.

 

[slowmover]

When I was a teenager, I thought it was “cool” to clip one’s modulation limiter and run an amp.

I had a K5 Blazer with a 108” whip and was running a 4x2SC2879 amp. I think I always ran the amp on high power.

I backed into a parking space nearly touching the live music venue I was meeting some friends at. My antenna was probably about 20 feet from the soundboard inside.

I keyed up to let my friends know I was there and when I unkeyed the mic my voice echoed out of the PA system at full volume. You could hear everyone inside doing a collective “what the heck was that” type reaction. I hadn’t intended to do that and found it amusing at the time.

That was prelude to the legendary announcement of, “10-Cent Beer at the South Entrance or Free with a Titty Flash”, right?

.

 

[K9KLC]

In the late 70's I was driving our work van and my sister was at a church near the highway I was on. She heard me come over the PA system and I guess it was so loud the preacher actually had to stop. I was using a Sonar FS 23 at the time and I don't believe we had any "extra stuff" in the van at that time. Antenna was a 96 inch fiberglass Shakespeare antenna on a 71 dodge window van. Some time later they had me come and sit in the parking lot and see what was up and in the process of finding a bad ground on the mic mixer, we also fixed a slight hum they had been having!

Off and on an occasional truck driver got into the system also but I guess moving along the highway and not using the exit right there, it didn't last as long or was as loud.

 

[tvengr]

She heard me come over the PA system and I guess it was so loud the preacher actually had to stop.

The same exact thing happened to me using the CB while sitting in my church parking lot during a service. They came out and got me. Long microphone cables make excellent CB antennas and a cold solder joint at the microphone input has a difference resistance in each direction and serves as an AM detector diode. I put RF chokes and bypass capacitors in the microphone inputs and resoldered the cable connectors to eliminate the problem. Be careful what you say on the CB. The next sermon could be about you!

 

[K9KLC]

Be careful what you say on the CB. The next sermon could be about you!

That's GREAT!

 

[makerdino059]

Sometime around 1977 I was out joyriding with a older friend that had a truck. He was also a volunteer fireman. He had a CB with a PA on it and one evening we went rolling through town exceeding the speed limit by a significant amount while one of us was on the mic through the PA doing a whistle that sounded like an emergency siren. It was actually fun watching people get the hell out of our way. He also had a yellow gumball that could be stuck on the roof. Young and crazy!

 

[tvengr]

He had a CB with a PA on it

My CB also had a PA speaker in the grill of my car. I was sitting in my car when the driver parked in front of me started his engine. I began tapping on my microphone in sync with his engine speed. He revved his engine and I sped up the tapping and gradually slowed it down accordingly to match the engine speed. He got out of his car and opened the hood and looked under the car to try to find what was wrong. I finally had to get out and tell him what I had done and that there was no problem with his car so he wouldn't worry about it. Fortunately, for me, he had a good laugh. I'm lucky to still be alive after some of the mischievous things I have done.