Funny/Odd things heard on the scanner

guiltyimnot

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Sep 4, 2009
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5
Location
Topeka, KS
Had a unit dispatched to a local hotel 15 minutes ago for a stolen vehicle. Suspect was a white female wearing a batgirl costume. 10 minutes ago unit advised the vehicle had returned. 5 minutes ago unit advises that batgirl has returned the batmobile to the batcave and that he was clear.
 

firefighter89

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Nov 27, 2007
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359
Location
Startex, SC
Local police during foot pursuit.

Officer 1 - Y'all chasing (name removed)?
Officer 2 - Affirmitive
Officer 1 - He likes to run
Officer 2 - Yeah, we figured that out
 

n2hbx

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Dec 23, 2004
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Orlando, FL
Quote:
Originally Posted by n2hbx
Years ago I worked in a radio shop in Tonawanda, NY. One of our bench techs was working late one evening on some PD portables. Being a young guy and all alone in the shop, he had the local rock station playing while he worked, and there he was singing away at the top of his lungs while testing a transmitter.. Unfortunately, what he didn't realize was, the PD repeater was only a couple miles away from our shop and keying it up on a dummy load was the easiest thing in the world. So, after a rousing rendition of "Roxanne" over the PD channel, the repeater drops. It keys up and all you hear is, "Radio shop....call communications."

Larry
Was his name Art?
No...I believe it was Mike.

Larry
 

josh811ncvfd

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Oct 5, 2010
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Location
Central City, Muhlenberg County, Kentucky
Fire/EMS Page

...Tones...
Dispatch: Attn ... Fire Dept / EMS. Emergency Run @ ..... 42 yr old male dizzy after having intercourse and has had a seizure.
EMS: (chuckling) 10-4. Enroute
EMS (other unit not responding): You may need to take a splint in with you (chuckling)...
 

TechnoDave

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Nov 5, 2006
Messages
398
Location
Birmingham, Alabama
LOLOLOL....... Its not often the dispatchers crack me up... but this one I laughed out loud.

Disp: The call is at xxx Big Bear Circle
Ofc: Thats xxx (spelling) B-I-G F-A-I-R Circle?
Disp: No Bear.... like Bear.... like "Rawrrrrrr"
Ofc 2: Can you describe the bear again?
Disp: "Rawrrrrr"
Ofc2: Thank you.
 

desert-cheetah

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Sep 10, 2010
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In the desert someplace
Just now heard on the Gila Fire Department in Pinal County, AZ on an open mic:

female dispatcher "We don't know what the h*ll is going on, Dude." then laughter. You could hear some background noise then someone in the background mentioned an open mic. There was a few seconds of random background noise then nothing.

Not sure if minor swear words are allowed to be posted here, but I'm sure everyone knows what word was used.
 

desert-cheetah

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In the desert someplace
Listening to the odd DEA surveillance in the clear

reference to something "mc", one agent said he wanted a 'value meal today'

no product was acquired so an agent said to give the target a 'loose one' (surveillance) and another agent replied "loosey goosey" and chuckled.

There've been a couple of concerns about city police motor officers in the area since the DEA people are in unmarked cars and have had to speed up a couple of times to stay on their tail, but now everyone is going the speed limit because there's a marked city car ahead of them.
 

ad5kl

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Joined
Mar 22, 2004
Messages
112
Location
Hot Springs Village, AR
Law enforcement agency nearby had some late-night shenanigans. After every transmission, they would say "over." Dispatcher was doing it & so were all the cops. Of course they normally never use "over" in their everyday comms.

The joke went on for 2 hours - I guess they assumed nobody was listening at that hour. Score one for insomnia.
 

quarterwave

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Apr 11, 2005
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TBD
An older retired deputy that I know told me about an incident at a school way back in the day.

He said there had been some trouble at the school over a couple of months. A deputy was assigned to be night watch to see if they could catch who was breaking in.

At this point in time, the "Radio System" was a 39Mhz base used to cover 88 square miles...so the cars had 100 watt mobiles and the only portables they had were a couple MH-10's only used for special duties, etc. So the plan was to give the night watch deputy an MH-10, then a deputy on patrol would go by the school every hour or so through the night and call him for a check in. Also, he could get to a phone in an office at the school to call dispatch if needed.

Apparently at some point after midnight, someone broke the glass out of the door in the back of the cafeteria kitchen, but the deputy on watch was somewhere else and did not hear it. Later he made his round to the cafeteria and heard some noise, and assumed it was the thief. He had gun in hand and approached for a better look. (This school was very large).

Then there was an awful racket and he felt in danger so he ran....screaming into the MH-10 "HEEEEEEEEEEEEEEELLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLPPPPPPPPPP!" over and over.

The patrol deputy was fairly close and could just make out that weak old low band MH-10 as the other one ran down 2 long halls screaming. (Turns out he was a little afraid of ghosts too...all the alone time got to him I guess).

Upon pulling up in front of the school, the patrol deputy called back several times "What's wrong unit 65....what's wrong?" Then stopped and got out of the car to see the other deputy burst out of the front doors gun in one hand, radio in other screaming "HELP!"

About 5 seconds later a couple of Raccoons ran out the same doors and disappeared. The patrol deputy calmed the other one down and they checked things out. It seems the Raccoons came in the previously broken window and wanted to check out the garbage cans by the door, then wandered in to the kitchen and got onto a steel table that happened to be full of utensils, pots, glasses, etc. They made quite the mess of those and quite a racket getting off the table. They then followed the deputy to see if he had any food, apparently, or they followed the smell of fear!

Finally dispatch said car 12 is unit 65 ok?, Whats going on out there? He said, "The school needs a window, and the kitchen cleaned up. The Raccoons are ok, but I am bringing 65 back to station, I think he is done for the night"

Obviously this was a long time ago, and I didn't hear it first hand on the radio. But, I love talking to older deputies about the old days, and stories like this one, reeking of Barney Fife are my favorite.
 

gr8rcall

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Jun 17, 2012
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Alamance County, NC
an older retired deputy that i know told me about an incident at a school way back in the day.

He said there had been some trouble at the school over a couple of months. A deputy was assigned to be night watch to see if they could catch who was breaking in.

At this point in time, the "radio system" was a 39mhz base used to cover 88 square miles...so the cars had 100 watt mobiles and the only portables they had were a couple mh-10's only used for special duties, etc. So the plan was to give the night watch deputy an mh-10, then a deputy on patrol would go by the school every hour or so through the night and call him for a check in. Also, he could get to a phone in an office at the school to call dispatch if needed.

Apparently at some point after midnight, someone broke the glass out of the door in the back of the cafeteria kitchen, but the deputy on watch was somewhere else and did not hear it. Later he made his round to the cafeteria and heard some noise, and assumed it was the thief. He had gun in hand and approached for a better look. (this school was very large).

Then there was an awful racket and he felt in danger so he ran....screaming into the mh-10 "heeeeeeeeeeeeeeelllllllllllllllllllllllllllpppppppppp!" over and over.

The patrol deputy was fairly close and could just make out that weak old low band mh-10 as the other one ran down 2 long halls screaming. (turns out he was a little afraid of ghosts too...all the alone time got to him i guess).

Upon pulling up in front of the school, the patrol deputy called back several times "what's wrong unit 65....what's wrong?" then stopped and got out of the car to see the other deputy burst out of the front doors gun in one hand, radio in other screaming "help!"

about 5 seconds later a couple of raccoons ran out the same doors and disappeared. The patrol deputy calmed the other one down and they checked things out. It seems the raccoons came in the previously broken window and wanted to check out the garbage cans by the door, then wandered in to the kitchen and got onto a steel table that happened to be full of utensils, pots, glasses, etc. They made quite the mess of those and quite a racket getting off the table. They then followed the deputy to see if he had any food, apparently, or they followed the smell of fear!

Finally dispatch said car 12 is unit 65 ok?, whats going on out there? He said, "the school needs a window, and the kitchen cleaned up. The raccoons are ok, but i am bringing 65 back to station, i think he is done for the night"

obviously this was a long time ago, and i didn't hear it first hand on the radio. But, i love talking to older deputies about the old days, and stories like this one, reeking of barney fife are my favorite.
lol!!!!!!!!
 

bee

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Jan 5, 2003
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1,056
Location
Belmont, Ms.
LEO calls in a tag number. The dispatcher did not understand him and she says "give it to me agin", another LEO said "give it to her agin, Joe"

Oh well , you would have to have been there, I guess. ;-)
 

kb2vxa

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Point Pleasant Beach, N.J.
"There've been a couple of concerns about city police motor officers in the area since the DEA people are in unmarked cars and have had to speed up a couple of times to stay on their tail, but now everyone is going the speed limit because there's a marked city car ahead of them."

Ah, sounds familiar. These days I don't hear as many police dispatchers returning registration plate checks as "no record, not on file" as I used to. In case you don't know, undercover vehicles aren't registered, the agencies get turned in cancelled tags from Motor Vehicles so there is no listing in the DMV computers.

On the other hand I get a laugh out of the locals' so called undercover cars, so plain they stand out like a sore thumb. To complete the farce they have an antenna and MG plates! (;->)

Yeah, I know I didn't hear it on the radio, they're so seriously boring the last funny I heard was years ago and it's early on in this thread... yawn.
 

cherubim

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Dec 30, 2011
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Sydney, Australia
Something I heard recently on a P25 EMS channel:

Unit: "528 to Northern Control" (distorted)

Dispatch: "528 I can't copy you. You sound a bit like a Dalek. Can you try again ?"



P25 works wonder for people’s voices - Not!
 

gr8rcall

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Alamance County, NC
On the other hand I get a laugh out of the locals' so called undercover cars, so plain they stand out like a sore thumb. To complete the farce they have an antenna and MG plates! (;->)
Same with some of our "Unmarked" cars here. Permanent Plates, 2-4 antennas, Blue lights under the grille and on the rearview mirrors, and no rims on the tires! LOL.
 
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