Funny/Odd things heard on the scanner

[krokus]

Continuing the toilet theme...

Yesterday, an area department got called to a state park. There was a person that needed extrication from a toilet. In an outhouse. The person was a naked, 16 year-old male. He had been in the toilet for an unknown amount of time, so there were cold exposure concerns, and the person had an altered mental status.

I had something that I needed to get done, away from the radio, so I missed further details.

 

[desert-cheetah]

"Man (weight 420lbs) needs lifting help...states his bowl movement was not able to flush,
and is spilling over, and he can't move."

Toilets are made for humans, not pachyderms. (;->)

I'm sure you meant this as a joke and not insulting, but that's how it comes across. Please try to be a little more sensitive on a message board that is read by people of all sizes and types.

Thank you so much!

 

[Drkatzjr45]

True Call

I'm sure you meant this as a joke and not insulting, but that's how it comes across. Please try to be a little more sensitive on a message board that is read by people of all sizes and types.

Thank you so much!

I am very sorry my story offended you. It was however a real call I heard. But you are right, posting it was not in good taste.

 

[desert-cheetah]

I am very sorry my story offended you. It was however a real call I heard. But you are right, posting it was not in good taste.

No worries. Your post wasn't the offensive one. It was the other person's comment about toilets being made for humans and not pachyderms. THAT is what is offensive, not your story.

 

[fourthhorseman]

Just heard this...

unit..12xx to radio..(partner) .GobbleGobbleGobble....
dispatcher..Please repeat,,cannot read you because of the turkeys in the background..

 

[kodachrome]

Wow, just stumbled onto this thread - 172 pages to catch up on. Ha, lots of good humor here.

My contributions, from the 70's and 80's:

Desk: "Desk to Sgt. <name>"
Sgt: "Go ahead"
Desk: "Your wife called. Pick up a loaf of Mrs. Karl's on the way home."


Same agency, when the Johnny Paycheck song was a hit on radio, mics would occasionally key up to the refrain:

"Take this job and shove it..."

They went to ANI when it became available.


A distant county that I had on scan had a deputy with a sense of humor or a speech impediment. Couldn't quite pronounce the word 'six' it seemed. Multiple sixes were the best: "10-28 Illinois plate David-William-Sex-Sex-Sex, that's David-William-Sex-Sex-Sex."

 

[KB7MIB]

Wirelessly posted (Mozilla/5.0 (X11; Linux i686; U; en-US) Gecko/20081217 Vision-Browser/8.1 301x200 LG VN530)

Recently I saw a PD incident in the Phoenix metro area where a pair of officers arrived not in a PD vehicle, but in a large stakebed truck belonging to another city department! Either, they're getting sneaky, or there's a shortage of patrol vehicles lol

 

[Redneck0410]

Just heard this one.

Heard on the Madison County, NE Sheriff dispatch channel just now. Scene: Officer just stopped on a possibly disabled vehicle near Meadow Grove, NE.

Officer: 711 Madison.
Madison SO: Go ahead, 711.
Officer: Madison, I'll be 10-8 last (the disabled vehicle). 10-78 (For your information) had 10-25 (contact) with owner, they were cleaning up after their cat got sick in the vehicle. Advised they don't need anything at this time.
Madison: (After a slight pause and half-chuckle) 10-4.

 

[gr8rcall]

Continuing the toilet theme...

Yesterday, an area department got called to a state park. There was a person that needed extrication from a toilet. In an outhouse. The person was a naked, 16 year-old male. He had been in the toilet for an unknown amount of time, so there were cold exposure concerns, and the person had an altered mental status.

I had something that I needed to get done, away from the radio, so I missed further details.

Continuing that some more......

We had a ALS truck called out to a Alpha (Non-Emerengcy, and no Fire Department unless requested) response. A naked male has fallen in the bathroom. He broke the toilet off the wall, and is now wedged in the bathtub. When the paramedics got there, they realized it was no simple thing to get him out. He weighed 600 pounds.
To get him unstuck, they called the fire department. The fire department then called the rescue. And the rescue had to cut part of the outside wall away, then use a small crane to lift him out.

 

[n9mxq]

Last week on ISPERN..

Report of a 10-55 (DUI) driver in by Chicago..

Vehicle description: White Street Sweeper (Privately owned, not a Pelican)

 

[plusEric26]

Disp: Tones - "Medic 22, Engine 24, XXX Gordon Ave for a 64 y/o female, says her stomach is hurting and the baby is coming" audible laughing in foreground and background.

Then immediately following, another call from the same dispatch center for PD and I could still hear laughing in the background and also the dispatcher was struggling to maintain.

 

[gtaman]

If you live in Columbus ohio listen to Republic Waste. They will have you laughing all day. These garbage men have some interesting conversations.

 

[Scanner_Rider]

Yesterday while listening to our county S.O. I kept hearing what sounded like the 4 year old daughter of the reserve officer I know on the air . Thinking that maybe his daughter had possibly gotten hold of his handheld radio and was coming through the repeater near his home , I phoned him and before I could tell him what I thought , he said "No April did not get my handheld. The little girl you have been hearing is one of the female deputies trying to finish her shift after getting larengitis to go with the sniffles she has had for a couple days".

Turned out I was the forth or fifth friend of his who knows him, his family and his brother who is a deputy and listen to the traffic on their departments to make sure both are safe patrolling even though there would be nothing we could do but offer their families support as both are kevlar survivors.

 

[quarterwave]

If you live in Columbus ohio listen to Republic Waste. They will have you laughing all day. These garbage men have some interesting conversations.

I put that in my mobile this morning, you are not kidding. I see plenty of potential for comedy. Thanks!

 

[mjbjr]

can you post a link to it I cannot find it

 

[jhal94]

Two Cops talking about a shoplifter on a St. Pete Tac channel

Cop 2: How does he know hes stealing?

cop1: the guard says he has a booster bag,

Cop:2 like he knows what a booster bag is,

Cop 1: what does it look like? a backpack?

Cop 2: Idk but hes panicing,

Cop 1: well now im panicking,

Cop 2: I did it back in the day, im not gonna lie

Cop 1: now you listen to two chainz,

cop 2: truuueee

 

[nickmanning]

Okay...I've been listening for 20 years and one of the most entertaining oddest/funniest moments I heard when I was in Portland, OR. A youth baseball coach called 911 when, after his team showed up to a field and started practicing, a few players noticed a man sleeping out in the outfield. When the coach went to check on the man he stood up suddenly and screamed and started running down the street. The man apparently was heavyset and had blood on him.

After that call was dispatched another one came in shortly later from a few blocks west, something like Division and 55th, reporting a man running down the street screaming. Then another call came in from Division and maybe 49th, this one was a man running down the street screaming with no shirt on. Then about Division and 45th or so another call came in reporting a man running down the street with no shirt on and no pants. Then maybe about 40th or so the call was a man running in his underwear...then finally another call came in reporting a naked man running down the street screaming.

The bizarreness of the initial dispatch, then the dispatcher describing the public strip-show and the ground this guy was covering really made it something I'll always remember.

 

[GrumpyAeroGuy]

Our local state Comm System has a local ambulance service (hospital to hospital transport type of service) that, I assume, contracts with the state to have some talk groups on taht system with which they manage their dispatching, routing, etc.

Recently, my scanner stopped on their talk group. For about 5 full minutes, ended up listening to what sounded like a male dispatcher (with an unintended open mic) have an "argument" with his better half whom he referred to with male name several times during this, well, "discussion".

This went on for what seemed like an eternity...(about 5min)...Let's just say one of them was fairly angry/jealous regarding who "someone" was talking to at a party the night before....that sort of thing...

Next thing heard, door opening and someone screaming: "hey!!!!!!, you're on the air"......

followed by crickets for quite a while..... LOL

Have no issue with what folks decide to do in their private lives, but it WAS funny, I must say...

 

[RadioDitch]

About a week ago, cops caught a pair of vehicle burglars in the act not far from my house. They cuffed 'em, questioned 'em, and basically had it wrapped up. Then the humor kicked-in...

Cop 1: "We know what kind of car these geniuses were driving?"

Cop 2: "A van."

Cop 1: "Okay, I got a van here with the doors open."

Cop 3: "What kind of van? Cause this guy has a Dodge key."

Cop 1: "The kind that doesn't need a key anymore."

Cop 3: "Love that kind."

Cop 2: "I owned a few of those as a teenager."

Cop 1: "My mother should have never taught you that."

Cop 3: "Better than what he taught your sister."

 

[RDGDigital]

Trapped In The Car Wash

Heard this earlier today.

Dispatcher: Unit 106 respond to the Shell station at This and That streets. 10-17 reports she is trapped in the car wash and states that she can't open her car doors or drive out of the car wash. Please notify the attendant they have someone trapped in the car wash.

Notes:
This is one of those automated car washes along side the gas station with no dedicated attendant.
Unit 106 - Not the real unit number so as to not identify any particular officer.
This and That streets - I made those up so as to not report the actual location.
10-17 = Complainant (or reporting person).