Funny/Odd things heard on the scanner

Stick0413

Member
Premium Subscriber
Joined
May 16, 2005
Messages
1,118
Location
Hopewell, VA
Just heard this on a recording I had... Back in April after leaving a structure fire...

Dispatch: Engine 12, where is the stove located in your building
Engine 12: (Sounding confused) In the kitchen
Dispatch: Thank You

Haven't figured out what made the dispatcher ask that question.
 

ShyFlyer

Member
Premium Subscriber
Joined
Apr 25, 2013
Messages
630
Location
Colorado
Apparently, someone fell down getting off a city bus and hit their head. The Fire dispatcher advised the dispatched crew in a very calm manner that the male subject was "possible ETOH. Fell down, broke his crown."
 

Danny37

Member
Joined
Feb 23, 2013
Messages
1,141
Location
New York City
I remember this one last summer....

Officer: Central can i have an ambulance to Wycoff and dekalb...
Central: 10-4 notifying EMS
Sergeant: Are you kidding me? The hospital is right around the corner!
Central: to Officer: whats the condition of the aided?
Officer: Um...he has a stomache
Central: Can you walk him to the ER cause EMS is in backlog and right now and next available ambulance is 12 minutes out.
Officer: Sure thing.
Other officers chime in: wow...oh wow...(whistling)..., idiot....did you have your coffee? Dunkin donuts is also around the corner!
Central: Please no unauthorized transmissions, it's his fault he's cant see the big red "EMERGENCY ROOM" sign from 50 feet away.

I rolling on the floor when I heard this, I remember I was out on the ambulance having a pretty rough day but this made my day lol.
 

WGVFC166

Member
Feed Provider
Joined
Aug 28, 2008
Messages
11
Location
Davisville, PA
Overheard this one at a recent dwelling fire in Frederick County

Command to Sector Officer: How's that chimney looking right now?
Sector Officer to Command: Burnt.
 

drmh

Member
Joined
May 5, 2013
Messages
118
Location
West Virginia
We heard this one tonite....

Officer calls in to have a license check done - Dispatcher replies: 10-4, this is the fire channel.....
 

quarterwave

Member
Joined
Apr 11, 2005
Messages
559
Location
TBD
Back about 20 years ago, our Sheriff's department was on low band. They carried high band VHF portables for the PAC-RT's in the cars. They used 6 channel HT600's. Besides the PAC-RT channel, they had a ground frequency, the fire channel, and a couple of statewide VHF's.

When a deputy would have a lot of trouble getting out on his low band, he might call the dispatcher on the fire repeater (same dispatcher - same console).

The all-volunteer fire / ems departments in the county had some really over zealous members and they thought they needed to jump on the radio anytime something sounded out of "their" normal.

They would even get on their radio and yell "get off FAR-BAND" when there was skip on the repeater (used to be carrier squelch...if you can imagine that brilliance) as if someone could hear them and was going to stop using their radio 300 miles away.

So I more than once heard a deputy call in, only to have a volunteer jump on him and say..."Who is this , your on our FAR BAND"....Sometimes the dispatcher would key up and say "XXX stand down....SO unit XX go ahead"....sometimes the deputy would say something like "I called the dispatcher not XXX" or "if I have traffic for you XXX I will ask for you". Then once I heard the chief deputy key the console and say "XXX call the dispatch room immediately" and then they paged his chief....the problem seemed to go away after that.
 
Last edited:

Danny37

Member
Joined
Feb 23, 2013
Messages
1,141
Location
New York City
Back about 20 years ago, our Sheriff's department was on low band. They carried high band VHF portables for the PAC-RT's in the cars. They used 6 channel HT600's. Besides the PAC-RT channel, they had a ground frequency, the fire channel, and a couple of statewide VHF's.

When a deputy would have a lot of trouble getting out on his low band, he might call the dispatcher on the fire repeater (same dispatcher - same console).

The all-volunteer fire / ems departments in the county had some really over zealous members and they thought they needed to jump on the radio anytime something sounded out of "their" normal.

They would even get on their radio and yell "get off FAR-BAND" when there was skip on the repeater (used to be carrier squelch...if you can imagine that brilliance) as if someone could hear them and was going to stop using their radio 300 miles away.

So I more than once heard a deputy call in, only to have a volunteer jump on him and say..."Who is this , your on our FAR BAND"....Sometimes the dispatcher would key up and say "XXX stand down....SO unit XX go ahead"....sometimes the deputy would say something like "I called the dispatcher not XXX" or "if I have traffic for you XXX I will ask for you". Then once I heard the chief deputy key the console and say "XXX call the dispatch room immediately" and then they paged his chief....the problem seemed to go away after that.
Sounds like some good ol rivalry between FD and PD lol.
 

phillydjdan

Member
Joined
Jan 27, 2011
Messages
2,007
Heard this exchange the other day while listening to some surveillance operation. The units were watching a house down the block:

"Be advised a 96 (10-96, mental case) just came out of the house where I'm situated and is looking at me real hard."

A moment later:

"Guys, keep an ear on the primary channel, this lady just came over to my car, looked in at me, pick up a piece of trash on the ground, then went into the neighbor's house. She's either gonna call the cops or come back and cut me."

About 30 minutes later, they wrap up operations and decide to meetup for lunch:

Officer 1 "Make sure you clean yourself up after you eat."

Officer 2 "10-4 on the 'check yourself before you wreck yourself."
 
Last edited:

quarterwave

Member
Joined
Apr 11, 2005
Messages
559
Location
TBD
rivalry yet one of the closest brother hoods that was ever assembled
One of those guys wasn't feeling too brotherly one time about 18-19 years ago. The Fire dispatch could be heard for several counties around, and there was a known "wildman" who responded to everything from anywhere (bless his heart for helping...not being critical of that) but was warned several times about running from 2 counties away at high speed. (Volunteers here are not allowed to speed, and must have a siren if they have red lights, and the public *should* give them right of way...but do not *have* to). Of course I always give them the right of way...might be me they scoop up next!

Anyway to keep us semi on topic....I was in the radio shop when he pulled his last straw...he responded from his work location, which was about 60 miles from the scene of a minor wreck in his area. The chief deputy caught it on the radio, as they had been having some issues and complaint about this guy...and the chief deputy had the dispatcher tell him not to respond "27" from that far away, he could go "27" when he entered the county, only if his fire chief or asst. chief said they needed him.

He replied back to the dispatcher and told her that he didn't answer to her, and he would be responding "27". He was a full 2 counties away from our county at this point. The chief deputy got on the radio and reaffirmed the message, and he told the chief deputy that if his chief called him off, he would "33"...but he didn't take orders from anyone else. The chief deputy, calmly, keyed his radio...and said "Well, I think your going to be a little late getting there anyway".

I later was told, as I knew the chief deputy, that he had the county adjacent to us bird dog this guy on the 2 lane highway he would be travelling on to get there...and they caught him doing 109 MPH and very recklessly passing cars and running people off the road...red light and siren blazing. In fact it took them 10 miles to get him stopped. He was arrested and was alter suspended from the FD for about 6 months. Not sure if he ever went back...or just learned his lesson and moved on. But, man, you got to use come common sense sometimes.
 
Joined
Oct 1, 2006
Messages
53
Location
Bryant, AR
Heard this banter a couple of months ago. The city Fire Department was paged out for an accident close to the city limit line.

Engine 11: "Engine 11 to Chief 80. Do we need to respond to that?"
Chief 80: "Its in your district isnt it?"
After a short pause...
Engine 11: "10-4. Engine 11 en-route."
 

quarterwave

Member
Joined
Apr 11, 2005
Messages
559
Location
TBD
I just heard a good one on a squad to ER talkgroup.

The squad called in their report which started out with "We are bringing in a 32 year old male that was introduced to the business end of a wooden cane...again, and again.........and again..."
 

bpckty1

Member
Joined
Dec 15, 2000
Messages
957
It's back to school time and the bus drivers are learning their new routes. One driver contacted the dispatcher to say that she couldn't get to the street she needed to go down because the GPS told her she needed to go two miles down the freeway and turn around. The dispatcher replied that she needed to stay on the feeder road and not get onto the freeeway. What ever happened to the old-fashioned paper street maps?
 

jhal94

Member
Premium Subscriber
Joined
Dec 26, 2011
Messages
299
Location
Pinellas County, Florida
Landed in the middle of the convo, new dispatcher talking way too fast:

Cop : Can I have a description of the complainant.
Dispatch: It'sgonnabeahispanicfemale????XXXhightwearingXXXX??????at29thway???and30th????
Cop: Slow down it's not a Race
Dispatch: repeathispanicfemaleat-29thwayand30thstreet. Doyoucopy?
Cop: You need to slow down, this is not a race.
Dispatch: Hispanic, ....female, ....wearing, .............blahblahblah
Cop: Thank you
 

CrabbyMilton

Member
Joined
Jul 28, 2008
Messages
656
I just heard a good one yesterday. One of our suburban fire departments has one of those automated voice dispatch systems. Apparently the dispatch will repeat itself until someone acknowledges it at one of the stations. Well, the dispatch went out three times until someone picked up their microphone and said..."You're dispatching on Channel 2 so they're not going to hear you." It was a call for staging at a power failure so it wasn't a life saving call but it's still a bit troubling that there was a potentional for a delay.
 

twobytwo

Member
Joined
Dec 11, 2000
Messages
315
Listening to school buses on the first day of school and one of the driver calls in " Ive finished my route and there are two kids that are still on the bus ,What do I do with them?"
 

jeepinjeepin

Member
Premium Subscriber
Joined
Aug 1, 2013
Messages
252
Location
Winston Salem, NC
It's back to school time and the bus drivers are learning their new routes. One driver contacted the dispatcher to say that she couldn't get to the street she needed to go down because the GPS told her she needed to go two miles down the freeway and turn around. The dispatcher replied that she needed to stay on the feeder road and not get onto the freeeway. What ever happened to the old-fashioned paper street maps?
GPS on school buses? What school district? We have GPS tracking on our buses but none for navigation. The drivers are given "route sheets" with turn by turn, addresses, and students names for each stop. It's pretty hard to mess up.
Listening to school buses on the first day of school and one of the driver calls in " Ive finished my route and there are two kids that are still on the bus ,What do I do with them?"
Yup, early in the year students may not be assigned to a bus and the teachers working the bus ramp know that all the kids have to be on a bus before they can leave. Solution? Pick a bus, stick them on it, and hope the driver doesn't realize they are on the wrong bus until too late.
 

CrabbyMilton

Member
Joined
Jul 28, 2008
Messages
656
School bus radio traffic can get as funny as can be. I hear that all the time where there always seems to be leftover kids for some reason. Here in Milwaukee, they are instructed to drop off the kids after making several attempts at dropping off the one's who need an adult to accept them, at the central office. The way some of these kids behave, I would opt for jail for the leftovers. :)
 

jeepinjeepin

Member
Premium Subscriber
Joined
Aug 1, 2013
Messages
252
Location
Winston Salem, NC
School bus radio traffic can get as funny as can be. I hear that all the time where there always seems to be leftover kids for some reason. Here in Milwaukee, they are instructed to drop off the kids after making several attempts at dropping off the one's who need an adult to accept them, at the central office. The way some of these kids behave, I would opt for jail for the leftovers. :)
It's not quite so enjoyable sometimes when you are required to listen...and answer.
 
Last edited:
Top