Funny/Odd things heard on the scanner

[bergamot]

Some time ago during the usual chaos of Chicago's 4th of July fireworks, the dispatcher tried multiple times to get an officer for a call. He finally answered with "Hang on squad, I'm in the middle of a movement here", immediately followed by another officer giving a good long raspberry sound over the radio.

Another oldie was a suburban dispatcher dutifully broadcasting a plate registration, phonetically spelling the individual's last name, which happened to be a 4 letter swear word.

I thought this was cute-sheriff dispatcher was doing the 10 minute officer check:
Dispatcher: "5322 status"
Officer: "Oh pretty good, how are you doing?"

 

[ka8byu]

it happened to me

back in the late 70's I had to go back to the high school i worked at to open up for a group using the gym for a basketball game .
I parked my 4x4 with my ham call plates on it on the front sidewalk since it was raining, took my scanner in with me and about 5-10 min later heard one of the pd units run my plate.
as the unit was waiting for the reply from the dispatcher on of the other units advised "I know that plate don't bother he works there"
the unit at the school asked the other one if he was sure and he replied" yeah he's the custodian and i'll lay odds he is listening to us right now"

 

[desert-cheetah]

Heard in San Diego County via RR feed so I'm not positive on the agency. Officer was dispatched to a house fire and the dispatcher called him and asked him to verify the location because a neighbor was calling and reporting seeing smoke.

officer x: yeah, fire department is here and are taking care of it. I earned my fire merit badge today.

 

[kc0czi]

PD and EMS were recently dispatched to an address for a "man down, possible overdose" call. Subsequent information before the first LEO unit arrived indicated patient may be wearing a bear costume.

Shortly thereafter PD advised to cancel EMS with the following: 'There is no medical emergency here. Apparently our caller was providing CPR to a stuffed gorilla'

 

[AC2OY]

PD and EMS were recently dispatched to an address for a "man down, possible overdose" call. Subsequent information before the first LEO unit arrived indicated patient may be wearing a bear costume.

Shortly thereafter PD advised to cancel EMS with the following: 'There is no medical emergency here. Apparently our caller was providing CPR to a stuffed gorilla'

Oh wow...LOL

 

[quarterwave]

Doing my work today, driving around....I heard 151.625 (itinerant business) on the air for several minutes with some guy that must have thought he was a jiving club DJ...he went on and on about his big house party on the 14th, and how he was going to have the boxing PPV on several screens and you could come for $20 a person and get your "drink on" and "be chillin wit some dope homies"

Never did say where it was. Maybe he grabbed the wrong mic and thought he was on the CB!

We have many construction firms in town this year, several highway and city projects going on...so itinerants are busy. All this guy needed was an echo mic.

 

[K6ARL]

Just heard this one:

Unit 1: Unit 2, if you need a car for your shift I'll leave one out for you, otherwise I'll put it away.
Unit 2: Thank you buddy.
Unit 1: It'll be on pad 4, fueled up, and they are gonna put some extra armament in it for ya.
Unit 2: What?
Unit 1: Weapons!
Unit 2: Ooo...
__________________________________________________________________________________

And a page from a couple years ago:

"Coon Rapids Fire Station 2, 1234 XXX Street, male recently had head surgery and is now in the swamp out back lighting cattails on fire."

I'd hate to have his brain surgeon work on me!

 

[dmg1969]

Heard yesterday morning...

Officer: 118-9 county with traffic (stop).

Dispatcher: Don't you have paperwork to do?




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[abelfer]

Just last night...

- Rogue cow loose on a college campus
- Unruly wedding guests refusing to leave party

 

[AC2OY]

Heard yesterday morning...

Officer: 118-9 county with traffic (stop).

Dispatcher: Don't you have paperwork to do?




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LOL that is funny.

 

[rosecitytransit]

Heard an employee say this awhile back at the Gateway WinCo over the radio to another employee:

"My relative has this sign on her toilet. It says: If you sprinkle when you tinkle, be a sweetie and wipe the seatie".

 

[Jlowderjr99]

Funny traffic

Heard a call the other day for a guy standing on the side of the road in a very short leopard print skirt with his testicles hanging out. The officer was laughing when he advised HQ he was en-route. I actually lol'ed when I heard the dispatcher dispatch the call

 

[mibzzer15]

Some guy just the the FD because he has had hiccups for 2 hours....frkn hilarious!

 

[KD2DLL]

May not seem too funny later, but at 4am it's pretty laughable..

Fire dept gets a call for an accidental overdose. Ambulance is dispatched by Mohawk Ambulance and the dispatcher says, "Medic xx, responding for a female who was putting together her nebulizer and the pill says 'do not swallow' on the package. Medic xx, you can guess what she did.."

Medic xx: (attempting to hold back laughter) "Medic xx copy's, will be enroute."

 

[DJ11DLN]

What a great thread, slowly working my way through it & laughing more than I have in ages!

Heard the other day on a local County talkgroup:

Deputy #1: (garbled)
Dispatcher: Unit calling?
Deputy #1: (garbled)
Dispatcher: Unit calling, 10-9 (repeat), you are extremely broken.
Deputy #1: (garbled)
Deputy #2: If you spit out that mouthful of chaw, maybe we can understand you!
Deputy #1: (garbled) ...(barely understandable) damn radio...(garbled).
Dispatcher: (alert tone) (trying hard not to laugh, not entirely successful) Units in the field, suggest you reboot your radios, units in the field, suggest you reboot your radios.

After that, he was able to get through. Well, it's digital, and it's from Motorola, and it cost millions of dollars, so it must be better, right? (rolleyes)

 

[QDP2012]

Some guy just the the FD because he has had hiccups for 2 hours....frkn hilarious!

Hopefully it was a humor-filled call solved by a glass of water or a good distraction.

For some people, persistent hiccups are a sign of a particular type of heart-attack -- an inferior myocardial infarction.
.

 

[jeepinjeepin]

Hopefully it was a humor-filled call solved by a glass of water or a good distraction.

For some people, persistent hiccups are a sign of a particular type of heart-attack -- an inferior myocardial infarction.
.

I don't like the sound of that. My wife once slap/punched me in the chest and I subsequently had hiccups near continuously for 3 days.

 

[DJ11DLN]

Heard yesterday PM on another local County talkgroup, also not named to protect the guilty:

Dispatch: (unit#) need you to investigate (location), report of approximately 6 possums running in a circle in the roadway.

(unit#) (sighs) 10-4.

He was not an animal control officer...

 

[mibzzer15]

Hopefully it was a humor-filled call solved by a glass of water or a good distraction.

For some people, persistent hiccups are a sign of a particular type of heart-attack -- an inferior myocardial infarction.
.

Wow, I didn't know that. The guy was transported to the hospital, but it didn't seem way too serious.

 

[QDP2012]

I don't like the sound of that. My wife once slap/punched me in the chest and I subsequently had hiccups near continuously for 3 days.

Persistent hiccups can be a problem for people with a history (or a heritage) of cardiac or respiratory issues. At some point, you might wish to mention the episode to your physician, even if only just to make them aware, in case some future condition might be related.