Funny/Odd things heard on the scanner

n7lxi

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Jun 8, 2006
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Lancaster PA
Fire dept conducting radio tests. The units transmit on the repeaters, then on simplex, with what appears to be a random sentence. Dispatch replies and quotes the sentence. Dispatch usually quotes it accurately.

Unit: On the mobile repeater, the colt reared and threw the tall rider.

Dispatch: Roger, the cold rear, uh, something, copied you 5x5.
these are called Harvard Sentences. https://www.cs.columbia.edu/~hgs/audio/harvard.html
 

WeldGuy

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Many years ago there was a fly-in Air Show at a local airbase. There were many, many private aircraft attending. When the Air Show was over, the tower was extremely busy with everyone wanting to be next on the runway. As the exiting progressed, tempers were beginning to show. One private pilot made an unkind remark to the tower crew which was answered with, "Sir, you are free to leave from another airport."
 

KK4JUG

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Truly not funny but 911 dispatcher paged out ambulance to DOA, person unconscious, not breathing and cold to touch. (Now the sad part of dispatcher intelligence) patient Is Not Experiencing Any Flu Like Symptoms! DUH!
Fire and especially medical and police personnel are allowed to snicker at certain things. It helps to maintain what little sanity they have left.
 

jonwienke

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The same goes for military medics.

Q: "What's the difference between a red thermometer and a blue one?"
A: "The taste."
 

KG4DRF

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Marshall County
No humor in it. Dispatcher was serious when she dispatched the EMS. The Covid fear makes them forget oaths they took when becoming paramedics. Some city fire departments medics won't even respond to call if patient has a cough and fever.
 

KK4JUG

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No humor in it. Dispatcher was serious when she dispatched the EMS. The Covid fear makes them forget oaths they took when becoming paramedics. Some city fire departments medics won't even respond to call if patient has a cough and fever.
I find it hard to believe medics refused to respond to a call and remained on the payroll.

I spend over 3 decades as a cop. You can't fathom the death and destruction they deal with on a daily basis. A sense of humor helps you cope.
 

KG4DRF

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Marshall County
I spent 10 years working in local hospital in the 80'&90's. Was there when HIV was today's Covid. Knew several who were afraid to start or remove an IV from a patient who had it.
Every 911 center in state gets address of Covid positive patient within 24hrs or less of results reported in to state health department. They tell them if call is to address with positive results even if those test results were 7 months ago. Different times and people in healthcare than when I was there. I left when higher ups pushed $$ instead of patient care. Biggest issue in our area is 911 center not well trained and ambulance service for 90% of county is farmed out. Had supervisor come over radio to remind them to act professionally when dispatcher couldn't be understood for all the laughing in background from whatever show they were watching. Yes, humor in police, fire and medical is always a must but, it has to appropriate humor, not interfering during a call and never needs to be broadcasted over the radio. Sorry for the rant but looked like most missed the point of the stupidity of dispatcher saying DOA was not experiencing any flu like symptoms.
 

cpg178

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Units are dispatched to a family domestic: Dispatcher: "Caller is stating it started when the stepmother started slapping the sons pet pig"
 

KK4JUG

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Back in the early 70s, we had an early morning break-in at a haberdashery downtown: kicked in the back door. It set off the alarm so nothing was taken. Owner was notified. Just in case, ID folks dusted for prints. The owner lived about 45 minutes away so one of the techs (wearing a suit) decided to have fun until the owner arrives. He strikes a pose in the front window and as a car drives by, he waves at them. Car occupants do a double-take and usually drove around the block to see what they thought they saw.
 

CrabbyMilton

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I remember a fire unit sounding confused asking for the other unit's location. The response was...City hall dispatch center...in other words, the unit forgot he was talking to the dispatcher.
 

kb7gjy

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Bonners Ferry, Idaho
We get some interesting calls up here.

Had a person drive off from a traffic stop and a chase ensued. Crossed state lines where it was picked up by the next state. High speeds (100 plus, at night in rural Idaho, is truly taking ones life to the ragged edge of danger).

Some of the highlights of the chase and search.

One unit to another, I don't think he could make it up this road, its got some snow on it.
Other unit, Well I made it up in my charger last year so I don't think he would have a problem.

"I'm trying to catch up to a possible suspect vehicle, he is really moving through the trees. Is there a road over there?"
Other unit, No, unless he is on the railroad tracks.
"Oh..... Disregard, I was wondering why I couldn't see his headlights (He was seeing the flashing End of Train marker light)"
 

JeremyG760

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I imagine this kind of call is made every year, but I came across an interesting BOLO on the system for the Marine Corps base I live next to as I drove home from work on Christmas Eve.
(Unfortunately I didn't get the beginning recorded, but they called out his name and multiple AKAs)
 

Randyk4661

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Garden Grove, CA
I imagine this kind of call is made every year, but I came across an interesting BOLO on the system for the Marine Corps base I live next to as I drove home from work on Christmas Eve.
(Unfortunately I didn't get the beginning recorded, but they called out his name and multiple AKAs)
I think that's a first hearing a military base do a BOLO for Santa Claus. Bravo
 

N1GAW

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Raleigh, NC
No explanation given, and never did figure out this communication...

OFFICER: We need you to contact Ace Towing to respond regarding a seizure
Dispatch: Ahmmm you need EMS to respond for seizure
OFFICER: Negative, the tow company, ACE towing
Dispatch: OK we will contact them for you.
(few minutes later)
Dispatch: Ace Towing en route related to seizure
 

sonm10

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Sauk Centre, Minnesota
No explanation given, and never did figure out this communication...

OFFICER: We need you to contact Ace Towing to respond regarding a seizure
Dispatch: Ahmmm you need EMS to respond for seizure
OFFICER: Negative, the tow company, ACE towing
Dispatch: OK we will contact them for you.
(few minutes later)
Dispatch: Ace Towing en route related to seizure
pretty sure that fits in the odd category
 

JeremyG760

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Oceanside, CA
"...RP in room 225... Calling in saying that there was uhhhhh helicopter earlier making announcements that she was gonna be under arrest for 187 and that she has court for an explosion... wanting to know why she's gonna be 10-16... She did admit to being 11-5 on heroin..."

The tone of the dispatcher makes this whole call even better.
 
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