Funny/Odd things heard on the scanner

Steve162

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Hainesport, NJ
When carbon monoxide alarms first became available a city FD in my area sent an assignment because a CO alarm was sounding in a multiple dwelling. The following radio exchange was heard:

Batallion Chief: "Batallion 4 to Headquarters."
HQ: "Batallion 4"
BC: "Do you have any more information on this alarm?"
HQ: "Negative, Batallion 4, the caller stated her CO alarm was sounding."
BC: "Received, we're taking up...we can't smell anything."
 

trentbob

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Feb 22, 2007
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Bristol, Pa.
I forgot how much I miss this thread... here's one that happened last year.

Sweet voiced female dispatcher: I have a call I just don't want to give out, the sector car is tied up so I need a volunteer.

22-××: okay I'll volunteer, what is it.

Dispatcher who cannot contain herself from laughing: it's a criminal mischief to a vehicle, meet a xxxx xxxxx, she will be waiting in the parking lot of xxxx on xxxx street. Someone super glued a dildo to the hood of her car.

22-××: yeah, I had to volunteer, I bet you have been waiting to give that call out.

Dispatcher who is laughing uncontrollably now: no, no I wasn't.
 

Plectron479

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Feb 19, 2010
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Many many years ago I was listening to the local sheriffs dept and someone keyed their microphone to a portion of a song popular at that time. The singer started singing...
Take this job and shove it
I ain't working here no more
 

Cognomen

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Dec 30, 2009
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Hwys dept, conducting regular road and weather report:

Dispatch: ___ patrol, roads and weather?

Unit: (recites long report with detailed road conditions, traffic, weather, etc.)

Dispatch: 10-9? (means please repeat)

Unit: No delays.

Dispatch: 10-4.
 

scanfreqer

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Barrie
:D Before I got my 1st scanner (and this is the reason I got it) I was at a Ham suppy store where they had one running and it was picking up the old radio phone calls.. (background noise busy office) Man to wife Honey I am going to be working late tonight ..
Bacground noise traffic same man) Hey Sweetie get that sexy out fit on I am on my way....:D
I heard the same thing one night only it was on the airlines freqs. Called his wife on the way from Ottawa to Toronto saying he'd working all night downtown and won't be home, then called his girlfriend and said he was on his way.
 

Cognomen

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Dec 30, 2009
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Fire dept dispatched to a possible hazmat call at a residence.
Once on location, outside of the house, they detected a burning electrical smell, or burning plastic smell, or something.
Upon investigation, they concluded it was a skunk. lol
 

NWI_Scanner_Guy

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Hammond, IN
Heard while at work last night....

Dispatch: 42xx Marshall, apartment 2D. Caller states she's locked out of her apartment and building maintenance will not help. She would like our assistance in getting into her apartment. Caller is still on the line.

Officer: Inform her that the only help we can give would be in kicking her door in.

Dispatch: 10-4

about a minute or so passes....

Dispatch: Caller states she'll wait for the locksmith.

Officer (chuckling): 10-4, figured she would

:D
 

eg153wftx

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Mesa AZ
Phoenix Police dispatch:

Adam XX go by Circle K, XXXX McDowell RD , Reporting person says a white male in parking lot jumping like a frog in the rain...
 

enine

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Jan 24, 2006
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I spent 10 years working in local hospital in the 80'&90's. Was there when HIV was today's Covid. Knew several who were afraid to start or remove an IV from a patient who had it.
Every 911 center in state gets address of Covid positive patient within 24hrs or less of results reported in to state health department. They tell them if call is to address with positive results even if those test results were 7 months ago. Different times and people in healthcare than when I was there. I left when higher ups pushed $$ instead of patient care. Biggest issue in our area is 911 center not well trained and ambulance service for 90% of county is farmed out. Had supervisor come over radio to remind them to act professionally when dispatcher couldn't be understood for all the laughing in background from whatever show they were watching. Yes, humor in police, fire and medical is always a must but, it has to appropriate humor, not interfering during a call and never needs to be broadcasted over the radio. Sorry for the rant but looked like most missed the point of the stupidity of dispatcher saying DOA was not experiencing any flu like symptoms.
I'd bet it was the dispatcher asked the person calling in the DOA if they knew if the DOA person had experienced any flu like symptoms prior to death (i.e. is there a chance they died due to covid). Think about a scenario where someone checks on a neighbor who complained about feeling ill yesterday and today they are dead so they call the police and informs the dispatcher they neighbor had a fever yesterday. Now the caller is a potential COVID exposure so the responding must follow covid procedures.
 

freqseeker

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Jun 18, 2003
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Puget Sound WA.
Washington State Patrol.
#### Put me out with a chicken in the road.
Dispatch: #### verifing you said a chicken?
#### yes, a hen to be more specific.
#### and yes I'm going to ask.
Different trooper: She's already on the other side.

That was it. No further response. WSP are known for very (professional) dialog so it was good to hear them have some fun.
 

GlobalNorth

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Phoenix Police dispatch:

Adam XX go by Circle K, XXXX McDowell RD , Reporting person says a white male in parking lot jumping like a frog in the rain...

Having grown up in Phoenix, very close to McDowell Road, I can attest to the weirdness of some of the area denizens.
 

HeadingOut

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Jan 27, 2021
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Just last week, on local PD channel.
Officer : 8 Down "crime scene" a few minutes later an other officer: 4 Across "Finger Print"
I looked over to my wife and said what is going on? sounds like a cross word.
This goes on for another 15 minutes or so.....
The the dispatcher comes on and says OK this concludes our crossword for tonight
come on back to HQ
 

Cognomen

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Dec 30, 2009
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Fire dept:

Dispatch: The information is in the call.
Truck: Oh that's interesting, I don't usually read that sh__.
 

KE0VUL

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Dec 2, 2019
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EN27
Train derailment
Officer 1: Probably about 16 cars; 6 still on the rail, so that would be 10 tipped over.
Officer 2: 10-4
Officer 3: Good math right there.
Officer 1: Public education.
 

hill

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Dec 19, 2002
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Middle River, MD
Heard a dispatch for a medical call that was funny in it's self, but just one comment was kind of different.

The dispatcher relayed to the responding units that the lady was forgetting to breath. The dispatcher was very confused by the comments and wasn't really sure it was not relayed by a third party.
 

kb4mdz

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Apr 28, 2003
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Location
Cary, NC
That problem used to occur where I work. I enabled MDC1200 on all of the radios and put a stop to it in a hurry. Now you can be stupid, but not anonymous.
Yup. I worked at a muni radio shop and as part of jiggering frequencies around in prep for narrowbanding, shop enabled MDC1200 on ALL non-public safety radios. And we kept a couple Cimarron decoders connected to the base stations we used in the shop. And one day there was a lot of obnoxious activity on a Solid Waste Svcs channel - re-transmitting the broadcast radio, keying over top of others, snide comments, you know it all. And with each transmission the alias truck #popped up.

My colleague went over to the base & keyed the mic:

"Truck #xyza, this is the Radio Shop speaking. This channel is for business use only, not for personal entertainment. What you have been doing is illegal."
(silence)

(from another truck which we knew to be a crew leader)

"Thank you!, Radio Shop!!!"

Leader already had an idea who it was, a known joker & blowhard, and he was counselled at the end of the day. He quietly retired on disability within about a week.
 
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