Funny/Odd things heard on the scanner

[Joseph11]

After an ambulance got a flat tire when returning from the hospital, this exchange occured between the ambulance with the flat tire and another ambulance:

Unit 2: "When will you be returning to the building?"
Unit 1: "We just got a flat tire on the parkway in [city]."
Unit 2: "You need some help?"
Unit 1: "Could you repeat, you were coming in all broken up."
Unit 2: "You need some help?"
Unit 1: "When did you program that annoying identifier into your radio?"
Unit 2: "It's always been in this radio, I didn't program it in."
Unit 1: "Oh, OK. Uhh, no a trooper just pulled up. We should be OK."

 

[Admin0140434]

sorry, maybe its just me, but im not seeing where the last 2 stories are funny...

 

[K5MAR]

sorry, maybe its just me, but im not seeing where the last 2 stories are funny...

Yeah, it's just you. :wink:

Mark S.

 

[Al42]

Me too. No yuk.

 

[K5MAR]

I guess us rural types west of the Mississippi are more easily amused than you jaded sophisticates on the east coast. 8)

Mark S.

 

[Al42]

Or maybe you young whippersnappers are more easily amused than us old coots.

 

[K5MAR]

Or maybe you young whippersnappers are more easily amused than us old coots.

I'm 52, how old are you? :?

Mark S.

 

[Al42]

I'm 52, how old are you? :?

Mark S.

63.

 

[SCPD]

This happened when an officer was in foot pursuit:

Unit: Foot pursuit @ ( location)!

Dispatch: Got A description?

Unit: 10-4... White male, red shirt, wearing black hair and has on a beard.

 

[Admin0140434]

Unit: Foot pursuit @ ( location)!

Dispatch: Got A description?

Unit: 10-4... White male, red shirt, wearing black hair and has on a beard.

FINALLY, something that gave me a chuckle...

 

[K5MAR]

Frankly, I didn't realize we were now rating each new posting. People posts things they think are funny. Some may agree, some may disagree. This isn't "American Scanner Idol" or other such nonsense. Are any of us supposed to care if you liked a particular post or not? I think not. That's not the topic of the thread. Neither is this, so I'm going to drop it.

Mark S.

 

[Joseph11]

Blah (So Page 32 works)

Frankly, I didn't realize we were now rating each new posting. People posts things they think are funny. Some may agree, some may disagree. This isn't "American Scanner Idol" or other such nonsense. Are any of us supposed to care if you liked a particular post or not? I think not. That's not the topic of the thread. Neither is this, so I'm going to drop it.

Mark S.

 

[TXFirefighter112]

Heard on Carrollton FD Tac-1:

M-116: M-116 to Carrollton
Disp: Go ahead
M-116: In service, back in quarters hoping that maybe we'll get some sleep
Dips: (In sarcastic tone) I dont think so. It's 0430 so you may as well just stay up.
M-116: You're probably right.

And just in case anyone didnt find that part funny, the next part's a guarunteed side splitter: The time was actually 0400! :lol:

Ok enough poking fun at people's sense of humor... 8)

 

[K5MAR]

Heard on the city fire channel:

"Headquarters Fire to all Stillwater Fire Units, standby for page."

Two-tone page followed by open mic and sounds of clicks and pops, then a voice in the background "How do you reset this Son-Of-A-B***h!". The radio unkeyed a few seconds later.

Mark S.

 

[nmfire10]

This is one of my very own today. "Evaluating one patient in the vehicle at this time. They are out of the vehicle." So they're in the car but they're out of the car??? I was attempting to say something along the lines of "evaluating one occupant, out of the vehicle" implying there was no entrapment. That's what happens when your trying to say one thing, looking at another, thinking about something else, and walking at the same time. Luckily, the dispatcher chose not to exploit it an acknowleged what I was trying to say because he's smart like that :wink:

 

[JMR3865]

try beloning to 2 squads and using squad A's numbers while serving on squad B's squad. Luckily, in a small town, the dispatcher knows whats going on.

 

[jmp883]

Not that I normally make fun of what's happening to other people.....but this one just has to be posted.

I was off today and even though I've been dispatching for 15 years I still enjoy having a scanner on when I'm off. Earlier this afternoon my agency received an ambulance request at a local restaurant:

The dispatcher hits the all-call tones, gives the call letters and the following message: "A crew is needed to respond to the XX restaurant, Rt --, for the female in the ladies room experiencing severe diarrhea and difficulty breathing."

Of course this lady was in obvious distress and I don't mean to make light of that fact but it is a unique set of symptoms to have put on the air. To her credit she was very professional. I heard no giggling or snickering on the air or in the background. I'm sure there were jokes flying around the radio room about that call, though.

 

[SCPD]

Dispatch to Officer:
Call from a Women ex husband broke into her house broke some doors etc.
She gave dispatcher her cell phone for the officer to contact and she was not waiting for them to come by because she did not want to miss her hair appointment.

had to laugh about the hair appointment

 

[jmp883]

sfdf wrote:

She gave dispatcher her cell phone for the officer to contact and she was not waiting for them to come by because she did not want to miss her hair appointment.

That is SO true. I don't know how many calls I've taken over the years where people call us for a report but don't want us to come now. Some reasons make SOME sense: I don't want the neighbors to see a police car in front of my house....I don't want to upset my children....

However most reasons are like the one above, I'll miss my hair appointment....I'm just leaving for the movies....I just ordered a pizza....
etc.

It never gets dull.... :wink:

 

[Jay911]

That is SO true. I don't know how many calls I've taken over the years where people call us for a report but don't want us to come now.

It may be strange when it's a police call, but how about trying to schedule a fire truck?? I had a caller the other day phoning from work because his carbon monoxide alarm had gone off the night before, and he wanted to pick a time that was right for him for the FD to come and investigate this potentially lethal situation.