3061
3061 are not capable, only the 3161's are. The next version up, and yes their are dealers that have the right firmware. Just ask around and maybe you come into luck. Don't give up on just that one guy or dealer. The other issue is you may need to go back to the dealer that sold you your erquipment as some may not be so fourth coming in sharing.
As far as the ptt id down or up prolbems, ask Icom the give you loaners until the prolbem is reslove. Tell them you like their product and being in public saftey you need a turn key system. And if that does not work seek out management and advise of the sceranio. Somehow I think they'll make an effort to fix your equipment at that point, their tring to get in the business of public saftey. Not lose public saftey, you case story assuming everything is acurate (why it shouldn't be) already leaves bad tastes in people mouth of they were about to choose Icom. Their fore that alone should help make them step up to the plate, however not that I'm siding with Icom or you as I do not know all the details.
PS wish ICOM had more function buttons so that more of the MDC functions along with Normal daily could be used. I think we all wish for more function buttons for the more advanced users, but realistically how many of us are their that understand these concepts. You have to rember what the product is being marketed for. Not that I disagree with you by no means, more buttons is always a good thing, but how many buttons are too many? Take a look at the new p25 radios and see how many buttons are on those. Gradually change comes with the ability to peer review right, as long as people listen.