"like i said i am new to this hobby and still trying to learn....."
That's a good sign, but first you have to learn the language before you can converse.
"some people learn better by hands on approach the reading it in the book"
The brain guides the hands, not the other way round. In other words experimentation is fine but you have to know what you're doing or all is for naught. In still other words, study chemistry if you want to be a chemist, if you go mixing chemicals blindly I would NOT want to be your neighbor. (;->)
OK, you're putting your 100W into a dummy load, that's why you're not being heard. I'll bet your SWR is sky high due to a non resonant antenna and the KW is folding back the power to protect itself. The long and short of it is just because a transmitter is rated for 100W doesn't say it's putting OUT 100W.
As for the shocks, you have so much RF coming back at you the mic is giving you RF burns. Any more power and you'd be yelp[ing in pain and have sores giving you trouble for weeks. Grounding won't solve the problem, plenty of stations don't have grounds and don't zap the operators because with proper antennas all the power goes up the coax and is radiated.
Again, you really need to learn what it's all about, random antennas produce random results and yours are working against you. Now please crack the books, what you're asking is beyond the scope of a discussion board, what you need is schooling. Here, I'll get you started with a 40M dipole - 468/f when f is in MHz.
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