So i ended up buying the Baofeng UV-5RTP, it's just a UV5R that can transmit at 8, 5 and 1 watts. I also got the Nagoya 771. It seems to work as well as I expected, and I got a really good deal on it. It came with the radio, standard battery, earpiece and charger (typically $35+), an extended battery ($12), a speaker/mic ($7), and a programming cable ($10-20) all for $30. The programming cable worked right out of the box with Chirp, so it seems legit.
Thank you to everyone who contributed to this thread for all of your help!
gezafisch