No apology necessary - your information is not incorrect. There are several "test in a day" options, and you walk away only waiting on the bureaucracy to catch up.
This process is easily found if searched, and I encourage peacefrog922 to continue to read up. But, on the odd chance that this thread is his only research effort...
It would be neat for some standardized submission process, digital would greatly speed up the issue. My wife's took a little over a week; her VE group was very quick to submit it to ARRL and we must have caught ARRL and FCC both on a good day.