I had similar performance that you describe scanning MilAir with an RTLSDR V3, around 8-9 seconds for 220-380Mhz scan and missing some traffic. I switched to an Airspy Mini and now get around a 2 second scan and much better sensitivity.
I should add I’m using the Fast Scanner plug-in with a much older version of SDR# V1700. I also use an old laptop w/windows 7 and it works very well despite having rather primitive performance specs. I turn the waterfall off to save on CPU usage. The main thing I‘ve learned is you need to try different older versions of SDR# until you find one that works with your set up and the fast scanner plug in. I never was able to get SDR# V1900+ to work.
Here is a link to the archive of all the older versions
Index of /software/SDRSharp. Spend some time downloading the 1700-1800 versions until you find something stable that works with your hardware. And make sure and use the Fast Scanner plug-in, it is the best tool for the job.
My plug in settings are: detect @40 & wait @ 0.5. Test it on civilian air to make sure it’s working, it should chatter nearly non stop in that band. Unfortunately SDR’s are not plug and play, they require a fair amount of experimentation because of individual and situational variances. Hope this helps, good luck.