Funny/Odd things heard on the scanner

KMA367

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mkewman said:
was that burger call actually via 911 or regular non-emergency sheriff's line

The story is that it was a "9-1-1" call, and if she was on her cellphone it's doubtful that she'd have known (or bothered to dial) a 7-digit number. A wireless 9-1-1 call would have gone to CHP first, then transferred to OCSD. Snopes talks about it at http://www.snopes.com/crime/cops/burger.asp

Actually that call is pretty tame and unexceptional for 9-1-1, which sometimes feels like it's 4-1-1. I've answered calls asking for directions to Disneyland, and a fairly frequent one is "what time is it?" During aftershocks from an earthquake, an obviously petrified woman begged me "can't you please make the shaking stop?" Got a "When will our electricity be back on?" And all three agencies I've dispatched for had "laser" or "radar" people who would call in regularly, that radio waves were being beamed into their bodies.

When things are slow and there are enough lines and call-takers available you can spend a little time with these folks - some of whom are genuinely distressed - but sometimes you have to get off the line and go on to the next caller, after you determine that this caller doesn't actually have an emergency that should be dispatched to. Even ignorant people and those with mental problems sometimes really do need the police (or fire or EMS).

On a lighter note, "415" is the CA penal code section for disturbing the peace. One of my coworkers had a report of a fight at a drinking establishment, which she broadcast as "6A15, 6A15, a 415 fart in the bar, at..." She later became a supervisor, eventually retired, and is still teased about it.

Some years ago there were several motorcycle plate numbers being repeatedly run by officers, registered to a business called "Mother Phuckers Choppers." A few dispatchers let the words out before realizing what they were saying, but we quickly came up with alternative ways of broadcasting the info, usually by simply spelling the middle name, "Mother Paul-Henry-Union-Charles-King..." The officers finally quit running them when they realized we were on to it.

Harry / N6URU
 
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Anyone have a recording of that call with the lady who demands an officer respond to help control her daughters tantrum and the dispatcher asks if she wants them to shoot her?
 

KMA367

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TXFirefighter112 said:
Anyone have a recording of that call with the lady who demands an officer respond to help control her daughters tantrum and the dispatcher asks if she wants them to shoot her?
Ugh, that one was awful. I've got only the first part of the recording, not the part where the dispatcher tries to apologize. It's from Watauga TX, so google might be able to find the entire thing:
http://harrymarnell.com/media/911shoot-her.mp3
 
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K5MAR

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The day our city inaugurated 911 service we put on extra dispatchers, correctly anticipating that the lines would quickly become jammed with people "trying out" the new number, as well as those that would accidently call while attempting to program their phones. Nothing like the ones I've read here, but explaining to people what constitutes a bonafida "emergency" got to be real challenging at times. :roll: A couple of us had to hit one of the local watering holes for some "stress reduction" after getting off shift. :lol:

Mark S.
 

K5MAR

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Just heard on the local PD freqs, Central was attempting to confirm the status of an officer out on a standby, keep the peace call.

"Central, 7x" (no response)

"Central to 7x, 10-90" (10-90 = advise your status, are you ok) no response, request repeated two more times.

"1x (supervisor), Central What's he on?"
"He's out at 40 North (Apartments), Apt xxx"
"Break, 7x, Central, I'm Code 4 (OK)"

A brief pause, then:

"7x, Central on Three"
"7x go ahead"
"7x, Central I was answering you, but apparently my radio is Paul Ocean Sam"
"Afirmative"

Mark S.
 
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hmarnell said:
Ugh, that one was awful. I've got only the first part of the recording, not the part where the dispatcher tries to apologize. It's from Watauga TX, so google might be able to find the entire thing:
http://harrymarnell.com/media/911shoot-her.mp3

Somethings wrong, either with the recording or my player cause it's just a garbled sound bit that doesnt last more than three seconds.
 

freqhopping

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Dispatcher: (with a hint of giggle in her voice) " Unit XXX respond to (address) and see the complainant regarding an item placed on her vehicle."

It was obvious that she would rather not say what the item is.

Unit: "What type of item would that be?"

Dispatcher keys up, 10-15 seconds of silence, then: "That would be dog feces. (giggles)"
 

radio10-8

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chp unit runs a VIN and dispatcher reads back, "clear and current on 2004 Lamborghini to the party you ran." chp unit responds "does the 1028 shows if plates have been assigned to this vehicle yet?" Dispatcher responds "affrimative" and provides the plate of the vehicle. OPEN DISPATCHER MIC "10 seconds of office sounds and then "Yeah he has a Lamborghini, wow.. fast car... sweeet.." MIc closes chp unit "Not that fast anymore....and I will need a flatbed to my location"
 

K5MAR

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Admin0140434 said:
i have to wonder that too... isnt tying up a 911 line illegal in all 50 states? this "my burger is wrong" lady could have been arrested
I would guess that depends on state and/or city statutes. In Oklahoma, it's generally handled by the issuance of a citation.

Mark S.
 

CWR

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One of our K-9 officers called dispatch and said, "I'll be out at the Station for Vehicle Maintenance." The dispatcher says, Vehicle Maintenance? Officer say's , Well actually it's Vehicle Clean-up. Dispatcher say's Vehicle Clean-up? Officer responds , Yeah , I don't think the K-9 liked the way I responded to that last call. I don't thnk he appreciates my driving ability.............
 

biglaz

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I just heard a dispatcher refer to the marker tone as "the little beepy thing". I think it was more so in humor than anything else, but it sure gave me a chuckle.
 

Radio_Lady

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REALLY long and boring. Read at your own risk <g>

Admin0140434 said:
... isnt tying up a 911 line illegal in all 50 states? this "my burger is wrong" lady could have been arrested
Not likely in California, where in over 25 years I've known of only one arrest/prosecution of a caller, a man who had been calling our 9-1-1 lines literally for years, and who had been spoken to repeatedly by officers and detectives.

It's actually a fairly complicated issue, and it plagues probably every PSAP. It brings into play not only the law, but a lot of difficult to quantify (much less prove) things like intent, definitions, observations and perceptions, and competency, as well as local procedures and public education.

Each state's laws are different, but one section of the California Penal Code (148.3) says that "Any individual who reports... that an "emergency" exists, knowing that the report is false, is guilty of a misdemeanor." It then defines an emergency as "any condition which results in, or which could result in, the response of a public official in an authorized emergency vehicle..."** Now that wording includes anything a cop could be sent on. Arguably the burger call could have easily escalated to what we would dispatch as a "business dispute." So under that statute it could be considered an "emergency." And the CALLER didn't seem to believe that what she was reporting was "false" (even though it was ridiculous), so neither of the required elements was really met there. Just felony stupid, perhaps.

For many if not most callers, their 9-1-1 call is the first time they've ever felt the need for the police, and for them whatever's happening often FEELS like an emergency. I may have answered a hundred calls a day for 25 years, so my definition may be radically different (and more accurate, from my perspective) from what the caller perceives. I have to take my customers as they are, and if they're not using 9-1-1 properly, I give them a quick tutorial, like the OCSO dispatcher did with the burger caller, and move on to the next one.

At my place, only about 25-30% of our 9-1-1 calls fall under OUR definition of an emergency or urgent call; another 30% or so are dispatchable but not emergencies. The remaining 30-40% are not dispatched on at all, being either not police problems (again OUR definition), duplicates, or reports that can be taken over the phone from the local station. We don't go to barking dogs, or cats stuck in trees, or non-injury traffic collisions, but the department just east of us may send a car on everything. We certainly can't expect the public to know the difference.

With the occasional exception, in my experience it's really a matter of insufficient public information and education, or simple ignorance, and not a criminal thing. Public safety people and scanner hobbyists have a pretty good grip on what's an emergency and what isn't. We live with the technicalities, the fine shadings and nuances of procedures and emergency vs non-emergency vs nonsense. The callers just believe they need help, and that 3-digit number is painted on every police car and fire engine they see. 9-1-1 is really a victim of its own success. "Need police or fire or ambulance?" we've been shouting from the rooftops for 30 years, "dial 9-1-1." So they do.

And it's not just in the U.S. Check this out - http://www.avonandsomerset.police.uk/units_and_departments/communications/999_calls/ has some interesting "999" calls. And they even have a written transcript for each if the accent makes it hard to understand. <g>

**Really going off-topic, if anyone is even still reading this. There is a newer and more relevant California law, Penal Code Section 653y. Note that ITS definition of "emergency" differs from the 148.3's(above), and it describes all the hoops we'd have to go through. Hardly worth the effort, IMHO, except for really egregious violations:

"653y. (a) Any person who knowingly allows the use or who uses the
911 telephone system for any reason other than because of an
emergency is guilty of an infraction, punishable as follows:
(1) For a first or second violation, a written warning shall be
issued to the violator by the public safety entity originally
receiving the call describing the punishment for subsequent
violations. The written warning shall inform the recipient to notify
the issuing agency that the warning was issued inappropriately if
the recipient did not make, or knowingly allow the use of the 911
telephone system for, the nonemergency 911 call. The law enforcement
agency may provide educational materials regarding the appropriate
use of the 911 telephone system.
(2) For a third or subsequent violation, a citation may be issued
by the public safety entity originally receiving the call pursuant
to which the violator shall be subject to the following penalties
that may be reduced by a court upon consideration of the violator's
ability to pay:
(A) For a third violation, a fine of fifty dollars ($50).
(B) For a fourth violation, a fine of one hundred dollars ($100).
(C) For a fifth or subsequent violation, a fine of two hundred
dollars ($200).
(b) The parent or legal guardian having custody and control of an
unemancipated minor who violates this section shall be jointly and
severally liable with the minor for the fine imposed pursuant to this
section.
(c) For purposes of this section, "emergency" means any condition
in which emergency services will result in the saving of a life, a
reduction in the destruction of property, quicker apprehension of
criminals, or assistance with potentially life-threatening medical
problems, a fire, a need for rescue, an imminent potential crime, or
a similar situation in which immediate assistance is required.
(d) Notwithstanding subdivision (a), this section shall not apply
to a telephone corporation or any other entity for acts or omissions
relating to the routine maintenance, repair, or operation of the 911
or 311 telephone system."
 
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freqhopping

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If can't believe what I literally just heard two minutes ago.

Dispatch: "Ambulance-92, you will be responding for a patient who claims to be suffering from <pause, sigh> chronic inhalation."

Ambulance-92: "Uhh, is the Sheriff's Department enroute?"

Dispatch: "10-4, suggest you stage upon arrival. If the patient comes outside again he may be wearing a gas mask."
 

SCPD

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Heard on an open mic when an officer was responding to a drunk riding a bycicle and causing problems.

Unitxx: I'll be on scene searching for the subject.
Disp: 10-4
Unit-open mic: Hey, hey, slow down now, stop..ouch! you son of a *****
Disp: Unitxx are you Code4(okay)!?
Unit: 10-4, the subject tried to run me over on his bike, Code 4.

..lol
 

KMA367

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Sitting at my console one evening, minding my own business, I hear an excited officer radio in to me, "12A17 requesting assistance, Manchester & San Pedro, my fartner is in put fursuit..."

Of course I did just as well when I sent a unit to a "security guard holding a shoplift suspect in the Safeway parket marking lot, at..."

Not terribly uncommon are officers giving a crime info broadcasts including "Suspect left running on foot..." If you're gonna run, that's probably the best way.

Similarly, I've often heard "The vehicle left southbound in an unknown direction."

We get so accustomed to using certain phrases on the air day in and day out, that they occasionally slip out just slightly scrambled.
 
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My favorite one that happens all the time is "xxx-666 on a corvette that's black in color." Im sure Howard Stern wont mind me using his LP in this.... :lol:
 

KMA367

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TXFirefighter112 said:
My favorite one that happens all the time is "xxx-666 on a corvette that's black in color." Im sure Howard Stern wont mind me using his LP in this.... :lol:
Yep, as opposed to black in shape, I suppose.

Compounding that, at least in California we now have the stark-raving "gonna-be's": "...on a Corvette that's gonna be black in color" Makes me want to ask "OK, if it's gonna be black, what is it right now??

Or "The suspect is gonna be a white male, weapon is gonna be a .38 revolver." Just WHEN will they be that, and what were they when the crime occurred?
 
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