Funny/Odd things heard on the scanner

Jay911

Silent Key (April 15th, 2023)
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Bragg Creek, Alberta
Heard this the other night from a fire crew sent to investigate a fire in the forest area of a semi-downtown park. Turned out to be a recreational fire.

"Dispatch, we've told this guy he can keep having this fire so long as he has a weiner in his hand."
 

INDY72

Monitoring since 1982, using radios since 1991.
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And the coons win again!

:D
Heard a car to car talk between a sheriff's deputy, and a F&W officer the other night.

Jefferson 3 to F&W 593. Go ahead Jefferson 3. Got a burgaler call you may want to assist me on. OK I'll bite, what you got? Got a string of garbage vandalizations, and a ladies kitchen was robbed.Seems that a cooling chicken was taken. Suspect is about a foot high, 10 or so lbs., and was seen running into the woods behind the house armed with claws, and wearing a mask. F&W 593 copies will bring my heavy artillery and some gloves, you want this perp dead, or just apprehended?(laughter) Ummmm,... 593, apprehended and relocated would be great thanks. (laughter)
And once again,.. got to love living in the woods.
 

N3AL

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Feb 28, 2004
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Eagle Point, Oregon
Pig on turnpike

A few minutes ago I heard that someone reported a pig on the turnpike. An officer checked it out and reported: "yes, there's a pig here; right now he's by the concrete barrier, just standing there watching the traffic go by."
 

ECPD279

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Bay Area, CA
Just heard on Richmond PD Ch. 2:

After much trial and error trying to get his MDC to work, turning off and on, logging off and on, whacking firmly, etc. this exchange took place:

Disp: Try turning it off, then back on, log on, then get out and run around the car three times.

Officer: I did that, and I've got both arms in the air too.

Disp: Very good.
 

rjp3637

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Dec 19, 2002
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Back in the mid 1980's I was working nights at the railroad control tower at Salem, Mass. Around 10pm I got a call from the Salem PD telling me that someone called them reporting that persons unknown were spotted walking into the 1/2 mile long railroad tunnel adjacent to the tower that ran under the city. A few minutes later a cruiser pulls up to the tower and tells me he's going into the tunnel to investigate and I told him that I'd hold all the trains out of the tunnel until I hear from them that they are clear.

I used to carry a early crystal controlled pocket scanner with me when I worked and I locked it onto the PD channel. I hear the following transmissions:

RADIO
Car ** to the station, are you sure they are holding the trains?

Station to Car **, roger, I talked to the the tower and he is...

(A couple of minutes later)

PHONE RINGING: Salem Tower
Yes this is the police calling, are you sure you've stopped the trains?
Yes, I won't run anything until I hear from you...
(Tentative) OK....

RADIO
Car ** to station are you sure they're holding the trains?
Roger, just talked to them.

About 5 minutes later a train approaches the other end of the tunnel and comes to a stop at the control signal at the other end the tunnel...

RADIO
Car ** to station are you SURE they're holding the trains?
Yes Car ** I've checked with them and they said yes...

PHONE RINGING
Salem Tower
Yes, this is the police again, are you SURE no trains are comming into the tunnel...
Yes, I have a train at the Boston End of the tunnel but he won't move until I hear from you....
OK (Unsure)...

Now I'm looking out the door of the tower and see one of the taller and more burley member of the PD come out of the tunnel. He is pale as a ghost and sweating profusely. He looks up at me at me and with a half smile / half grimmace he says "I've faced guns, knives and riots but I've never been so scared in my life!"

What I didn't realize is that the sound of the stopped trains locomotive was amplified by the tunnel and sounded like is was in the tunnel instead of outside of it...

Ray
 

INDY72

Monitoring since 1982, using radios since 1991.
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LOL, oh man since one of the things I monitor
is trains, yeah got to l0ove em, especiallly if your near a long valley or tunnel and a big SD-40-2 happens to rumble at one end and gooses up the power.. sounds like rolling thunder, scary to those not used to it, but music to the ears of us that love em. That brings up a funny thing heard on CN/IC Road Chan 1 in MS-160.920 MHz, for those interested, McComb Tower to Amtrak, your clear on track one to go for 60. Amtrak to McComb Dispatcher, how fast can we go for that 60?*chuckle* McComb dispatch to Amtrak, haha if you can handle it do 60.*chuckle*
 

kv5e

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Arlington, TX PD on VHF in the 70's

Station 3 (dispatch): "Station 3 to 318, Signal 51 (prowler) at xxxx Woodson Drive."

318: "10-4"

about 5 minutes later - 318: "318 10-97"

about 90 seconds later - Station 3: "318, be advised subject called back and said that there was a very large dog in the back yard and dog may bite."

about 10 seconds later - 318 on HH with sound of very large dog barking in background - "Station 3, be advised dog has already bitten!"

Lots of mike clicks from mobiles/HH followed with a quick Signal 25 (meet) by the patrol SGT.

:oops:
 

qoatzecotl

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Dec 19, 2002
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Kendallville, IN
Funny is as funny does...

Kendallville, Indiana K-9 officer to dispatch:

His BRAND NEW K-9 Crown Vic caught fire...

"Kendallville, K13"
"K13"
"I'm investigating a smell of smoke, possible fire...I think...yeah, it's me, send the FD."

And he never got excited. He was as calm as a sunny day the whole time...
 

INDY72

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Now that is a good man to have as your backup! :) I bet his partner the dog wasn't as calm:)
 

mlevin

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Baltimore, MD
Speaking of sending the FD. Is it me, but whenever the police ask for FD or vice versa, doesn't it for some reason take longer for the call to be disptached. At least two minutes, regardless of the urgency. The other night I heard an officer request a medic for himself and it took three minutes to be dispatched. And the same a while back with the FD. I heard a call for an injured subject. Turned out it was a family party, everyone was drunk and the crowd was starting to turn on the medic crew. It took two minutes for the PD to be dispatched. I know from personal experience that if I call 9-1-1, it only takes about 30 seconds the most, for someone to be dispatched. Is this a possible flaw with CAD. If it is,it's unacceptable.

Sorry to pull everyone off topic.
 

INDY72

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Well from personal experience working in a PSAP/combined dispatch center: When one agency calls in in many centers, say a SO Unit calls for a Emergency Medical, first you have to check which fire protection zone he/she is in, then page them out, tone/voice, then you have to call it in to whichever EMS your going to use, this is all after getting backup to him/her. And this can take at least one minute at best. Where with a recieved 911 call, with the systems in place, you can set up Law Enforcement, EMS/Fire, and all a lot simpler. Not to mention in smaller PSAP/CDC's, you have one person to run it all. Not hard at all on a slow day, but it can be holy hades on a weekend.
 

mlevin

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Thanks for explaining it to me. I still think it's a possibly dangerous problem. There should be a way to make things quicker. Now back to the original subject. Still nothing funny here. :roll:
 

I_10_92

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Feb 29, 2004
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Toronto
This morning I heard this interesting exchange between Toronto Police PDS (police dog services)

(names have been changed)

PDS1: Hey John, I think those girls over at McDonalds want to get to know you better.

PDS2: Yeah I know, at least she can count to five, which is alot more than I can say for the girls I usually go after.

It was funny at 5:30am ;)

Earlier on the same talkgroup:

PDS1: Yeah dispatch we got a cat here that looks like its been hit by a car, any chance we can have the Humain Society come out here and pick this fella up?

Dispatch: 10-4 I'll see what I can do.

(a couple of minutes pass)

PDS1: ANy word on that Dispatch?
PDS2: The HS doesnt come and pick up animals like that.
PDS1: Well it looks like it has a broken leg or something, what about city works?
PDS2: Well that guy was just at a call we did for a warrant for 2 pitbulls, so I dont think that'd be a good idea to toss the kitty in with the two pitbulls.
PDS1: Yeah, I guess, well I'll figure something out.

Never heard anything after that. RIP little kitty.
 

scanfan03

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Houston, Texas
milf said:
Well from personal experience working in a PSAP/combined dispatch center: When one agency calls in in many centers, say a SO Unit calls for a Emergency Medical, first you have to check which fire protection zone he/she is in, then page them out, tone/voice, then you have to call it in to whichever EMS your going to use, this is all after getting backup to him/her. And this can take at least one minute at best. Where with a recieved 911 call, with the systems in place, you can set up Law Enforcement, EMS/Fire, and all a lot simpler. Not to mention in smaller PSAP/CDC's, you have one person to run it all. Not hard at all on a slow day, but it can be holy hades on a weekend.

In my area the Dispatchers for fire, medical, and SO are different, and it still takes 2-3 minutes when one agency wants another.
 

sta18ff

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Dec 19, 2002
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Quakertown PA
This is the benefit of a comined center (fire/ems/police) in the same room. In my center you type the command in and it instantly goes to the appropriate dispatch console instead of having to be sent to another remote location. Another thing to remember (unless you timed them) is one of the important lessons from customer service. Proven fact that if there is no timepice for a "customer" to monitor they will think that for every minute that passes that they have been waiting for 3 min. This is evident by the number of calls we get saying "we have been waiting for the ambulance for 15 minutes". Upon checking the CAD it has usually been about 5 min. Jeff S
 

scanfan03

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Houston, Texas
One time SO had a pusuit and the car flipped over and caught on fire, the units said that they needed FD about 5 times to the dispatcher, the dispatcher just said "we just called them but we will call them again". I was on scene and the car was fully involved before the fire department got there. Keep in mind that the call was on the border of 3 different fire departments and one department was already out on a major accident pretty far away and it was in their district barely. There was a fire station right down the street, but it was a different fire department. They finally called that fire department and the engine from the wreck and the engine that came from down the streat got there at about the same time.
 

INDY72

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Remeber all, technology is still improving, I still remember when 911 where I live now was only for SO. For Fire you had to call the local nuimber, and for ambulance, another number in another town. Yes we still have a long way to go, we just got E-911 here where I live, and its still faster for ambulance to call the service in another county. Rural areas can have a field day trying to get all the services needed, not mentioning coordination. For example: The VFD I am on has a total of 10 members, one fire truck, and one tanker. We just had to reprogram our radios to delete the old EOC/VFD dispatch freq, as it expired and since the county just got a new "-911" radio chan, we are getting everyone reset for it, although the SO uses it for ops just as much as thier primary chan. If a fire, or medical emergency happens during a weekday, only two of us are really able to respond at all, the chief, and right now, me as I am currently unemployed and seeking a job, not the easiest to do in MS right now. As to ambulance services, we have one AMR unit, and two Emergistat Units for the whole county. From rumors, AMR is going to let Emergistat have the full contract for the county, and is making a deal to give them thier radio system, which seems to be common practice in this state. SO response time is average of 10 minutes minimum. Our VFD is 20 minimum to get at least on man in a truck, or to get enroute for first responder call. EMS response for AMR is 25 minutes, and Emergistat is 20 or more. If the ambulance call is given to King's Daughters Medical Center in a nieghboring county, they can get First Responders to our rea in 15 to 20, and an ambulance in 20 tops. We are still working on getting things fixed, and to get more members on our VFD, but being extremely rural, its not easy.
 
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Heard a report of a stop sign that had been stolen. Went something like this:

Dispatch: 324 take the report of theft of city property at X & X Streets.

324: 324 enroute

Dispatch: Caller reported juveniles had cut down a sign at the intersection.

Several minutes pass.

324: Is in the area, looks like they took the stop sign.

Dispatch: Copy, 324, One octa-gone.

Got to be the worst pun I ever heard. :D :D :D
 
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