Hi GQB and all,
Yup, Austin makes great eye catchers and they're way overpriced for the performance. Oh, you can make a nice bottle of snake oil out of a Ferret, just leave the fuzzy ones alone.
If you want stealth check out the Ventenna offered by HRO, they should like most Amateur antennas work well for receiving out of band too. For best performance you should use the 2M model for VHF and the 70cM model for UHF naturally, I doubt either one like most ham AND scanner antennas are all that hot on 800MHz. For that problem band it's best to use a band specific antenna, an 800MHz cell phone antenna is just fine and not too expensive. Like a cell phone it should be OK indoors, that band gives great penetration.