Funny/Odd things heard on the scanner

[INDY72]

Another case of lack of training. This is why it is SO VITAL to make sure that all your officers know all the facts of thier radios when you give em one. There are several smaller agencies that unfortunately have the attitude "Hey its a radio, you press here to talk, here to change chans, what else do you need to know?" Now on the topic of funny and an oficer not paying attention:

Overheard- The sounds of apparently a fight and gunshots. Dispatcher starts asking each unit if they are ok. Soon there is dramatic music playing over the air, then a very familiar line is heard: "Say hello to my lil friend!" At this point one of the other units figures it out and tells dispatch to give a certian officer a call at home to inform him that he was sitting on a open mic scaring everyone but hey the movie is awesome.

I was laughing for an hour.

 

[SuperCop]

A couple days ago from The Colony Police:

Officer: Baker 10, call SPCA and inform them of a flat squirel in the XXXX block of XXXX.

Dispatch: 10-4, we'll call them again, we called earlier this morning when he wasn't so flat. :?





:lol:

 

[waynesewell]

Recently heard the following from a dispatcher: "Unnecessary violence in the apprehension of the Blues Brothers has been approved."


Oh wait, that was the DVD player, not the scanner. :lol: :lol: :lol:

 

[Jay911]

Heard today, when a department needed to inventory its radios:

"All members please check your portables. If your antenna is long and pointy, please call Dispatch, but if you have one with a tiny ball, disregard."

 

[waynesewell]

Just heard this one on the air: "you don't need no stinking coordinates!"

 

[kb4cvn]

Funny Things heard on Scanner

Back in the early 1980's when I was still living down in Miami (Fla), I was listening to US Customs Service early one morning on 353.900 MHz. This series of exchanges involed a Customs Citation (ID = Omaha-52) and the FAA ARTCC in Miami (ID = SLINGSHOT).

Now keep in mind that this was before the days of scanners that included the 225-400 MHz frequency range! 8)

If you were listening there, you either had a military surplus receiver (AN/URR-35, etc.), or some other exotic type of receiver. The various mil/fed folks assumed that no one could hear them in this frequency range, and were a bit 'loose' on proper radio procedures.

Anyway, the Customs radar picket aircraft apparently had been running a search pattern between Key West and the Cuban coast. It was daylight, their tour was over, and they started heading back to Homestead AFB. Overheard on 353.900 was the following:


OMAHA52: SLINGSHOT...SLINGSHOT...OMAHA52 on uniform-1

SLINGSHOT : OMAHA52 this is SLINGSHOT

OMAHA52: OMAHA52 is RTB (…Returning to base)

SLINGSHOT : SLINGSHOT roger, out.

...a few minutes later:

SLINGSHOT : OMAHA52 this is SLINGSHOT

OMAHA52: ’52 go head

SLINGSHOT : ’52...do you still have your radar turned-on?

OMAHA52: Afirm.

SLINGSHOT : NORAD just called, they have a bogy down your way…could you look around and see if you spot anything?

OMAHA52: ’52 roger...will advise.

SLINGSHOT : Roger...NORAD has scrambled a couple of interceptors out of HOMEPLATE (Homestead AFB) to intercept the bogy.



...a few minutes later:

OMAHA52: SLINGSHOT this is ‘52

SLINGSHOT : SLINGSHOT go

OMAHA52: We got a couple of F-15’s on our ass! :x

SLINGSHOT : Roger, did you smile and wave?

OMAHA52: (Omaha-52 at this point said something quite colorful, I will not repeat here!) :evil:



Apparently when the Customs Citation was on radar patrol, they were under the coastal defense radar. When they popped-up to crusing altitude to head home, NORAD painted them as a bogy coming out of Cuba. Not too good of a situation!

 

[jellotor]

Dispatch: "Looking for a white male, mid twenties, blue jeans and a red jacket. Sporting a typical hairstyle for this area."
Officer: "Uhh, would that be a 'business in the front, party in the back?'"
Dispatch: "10-4."
Officer: "No kiddin'. Around here?"
Dispatch: "Do you want another unit to assist? Plenty of hair matching that description in the east end, I'm sure."



Nice when you can laugh about (rather than at) your job.

 

[ScanManQSL]

(Isolated thunderstorm / presently Raining moderately)

On Gaithersburg City Tac 1

Officer 1: You know why I like about the rain?
Officer 2: What?
Officer 1: The firefighter have to stand out in the rain instead of staying in the cab.
Officer 2: LOL. . . Thats a good one

 

[digitalBill]

Twice I have heard citizens calling "hello-hello" on found portables. Once was Westport(CT) Police and the other was Connecticut State Police. Expensive equipment I'm sure they were happy to have returned by good citizens.

 

[mlevin]

I'l bring this one back to life. Just heard this on Baltimore City FD EMS Ops.

Amedic was dispatched for a seizure call a few minutes later I hear....

Medic X to communications can you do a call back I don't see the patient anywhere.

Moments later..

Communications to Medic X the patient is now going to be located at X place.

Medic: Wow that's an awfully long way to walk while having a seizure.

Comm: Keys up laughing.

 

[INDY72]

Here is one a friend from New Orleans told me that happened in the 80's:
Fire and PD got dispatched on a shooting call. They arrived on scene to find a child had called 911 cause she was mad at her mother for taking her to the Dr. The shooting: A needle to the butt. We can all guess she prolly had an even more sore rear end after that one though!

 

[ScanManQSL]

heard this one @ 3:45pm on the Rockville District Court channel
(MOT: 15664)

Sheriff: Pschhh… Is it ok if I walk someone down? Pschhh
Person 1: Pschhh … 10-4 its all clear. Pschhh
Sheriff: Pschhh… Roger That Pschhh
Person 2: You guys can stop saying that, the radios do that already.

 

[Jay911]

Our fire crews use status buttons programmed into the control heads of their radios to set themselves en route, on scene, etc. The fire crews seem to have a hard time on occasion getting them done in the right sequence, or at all.

Three years ago when I was being interviewed for the job, I was toured around Dispatch at the outset. The very first thing I heard coming across the radio was:

"All right Dispatch, I'm pressing all your buttons now!"

The dispatcher on the console has a knack for being able to carry on a conversation and key the mike at just the right moment to transmit what she wants to say and only that, even if she doesn't pause for breath. So it's kind of like "You sure are (keyup) 2 Pump, roger. (unkey)"

 

[russellv2]

Heard on the Skywarn Channel (during condition green)--

Mobile station: "Holy crap! That's an interesting sight. There's water shooting out of the manhole cover about 3 feet into the air on Fenton Road."
Other station: "Caution! You may get wet!"
Mobile: "No kidding!"

 

[INDY72]

When the storms were hitting at around 1 am this morning:
Lincoln County Sheriff:
Lincoln 6, Lincoln Dispatch, any updates on the weather?
Lincoln Dispatch to 6, negative, just that last severe thunderstorm watch till 0200.
Lincoln 12 to Lincoln 6, here's an update,... its gonna rain.
Lincoln 6 then replies, "You think?"

 

[Tommahawk]

Vehicle Accident With Entrapment (?) And The Woodpecker

I will never ever ever forget these two communications. It still has me busting out lasting over 9 years after they happened:

When I worked for the County of Lancaster 911 Center (http://www.lcwc.co.lancaster.pa.us/lcwc/site/default.asp?lcwcNav=|) I was sitting in the fire service dispatch area of the dispatch center when a vehicle accident with entrapment came in.

I forget where in the county it was and for what fire departments it was dispatched to but the following is the dispatch (I swear that it is completely 100% true!!) The street addresses and township are just for on here

Female Dispatcher: "Manheim Township" Route 30 just west of Route 222 a vehicle accident with ejaculation". Of course it should have been communicated as entrapment.

After realizing what she had just said as we were all listening to it being dispatched and we started breaking up. The room became hysterical with laughter as ourselves sitting at the consoles and all of the fire departments and scanner listeners. She never did finish the second part of the dispatch. We received dozens of phone calls from emergency services personnel after hearing this on the radio.


THE WOODPECKER
I took a call one day from a doctor that lived in a ritzy section of the county in East Hempfield Township. He stated to me that he has a problem with woodpeckers pecking on his house and he would like the police department to come out and do something about it. I took his information, still laughing at his request quietly inside. At our dispatch center there is protocol in place that a police officer can cancel the call out if he feels it is something that should not be handled by the agency. This keeps us out of hot water if a caller asks for the police and we tell them that we won't send one out.

The call was given out to the police department officer to respond to the address and he asked for the name and number of the Doctor so he could call him back. Unless the caller specifically requests that his information not be broadcast we do so. So the dispatcher gave the callers information out.

When the call was originally dispatched the radio operator for that section of the County gave out all of the information in the comments field that I had included, including intimate details about how the woodpeckers were ruining this snobbish doctors' day and how they were causing damage to his residence.

Within about 10 minutes of the callers information given out to the officer we received a call back from the Doctor wanting to know if we found it funny giving his name and phone number out to Joe Blow Citizen and how he was going to sue us for such.

It was explained to him that there are individuals (Scanner listeners and others) that have radio communication receiving equipment and can hear such broadcasts. Apparently at least two people had called him at the phone number we had given out to the officer and joked with him about his woodpecker problem.

 

[oidvoid]

Heard this the other day on Montgomery County, Rockville dispatch:

The dispatcher almost lost it when she informed the responding unit there was a report of indecent exposure at Hooters.

Hell, isn't that why people go there in the first place? :shock:

 

[SuperCop]

"Courtesy" Dallas PD Ch 4:

Dispatcher: 4XX, check on this 40 (Other; misc.) @ blah blah.

Officer: Enroute, what cha got?

Dispatcher: Reports of a female (gave description) pushing a stroller, baby has a bag over its head.

Officer: That must be one ugly baby!

 

[RolnCode3]

Dec 24 about 2200:

Sac PD main: Alpha ** 910 (prowler). Complainant hears footsteps on roof. (gives address)

Alpha **: Is it a fat guy in a red suit? Enroute.

 

[N_Jay]

When riding along with County Medics (years ago).

Units were equiped with 2 mics, radio and PA.

We were trying to get through an intersection and the person in front of us was just WAY TOO confused to figure out which way to go.

The Medic driving grabbed what he thought was the PA Mic and yelled at the top of his lungs (quite loud for a 300+ Lb guy) "Get the FxxK out of the way".

Dispatch replied; "Medic 3, wrong mic"