Funny/Odd things heard on the scanner

[mwjones]

Just heard this a few moments ago:

DISPATCHER:
"Attention all units, reckless vehicle broadcast, 75 Southbound from Legacy a Black Nissan Juke driving about 100 MPH. He has a skeleton in the passenger seat"

I guess he was going to use that as his "carpool buddy" when the HOV lane begins a couple of miles South of there...

 

[NWI_Scanner_Guy]

Heard this a little while ago. Not sure why it struck me as funny, but it did....

A 'passerby' called 9-1-1 to report two females punching each other at a railroad crossing while waiting for a 'very long train' to clear the roadway. I guess that's one way to pass the time while waiting on a train.

 

[CrabbyMilton]

I guess neither had a deck of cards and a cribbage board.

 

[zapman987]

There was a "drunk & disorderly" call dispatched yesterday. The police got there and the guy being drunk & disorderly had 7 felony "No Bond" warrants for assaults and FTA's related to them plus another 5 misdemeanor warrants for trespassing/FTA etc with a total of $12,500 in bonds.

Thats cheap. Had a guy here, prior felon, got pulled for DUI, had a handgun (felons cant have). Ended up with half a dozen charges and over 50k in bonds, mostly because of the handgun and being a prior felon. All cuz he drove drunk.

 

[oneadam12-va]

Going back a few years for this one...
Had a shooting downtown, picked this up on the HEAR channel as EMS was relaying patient info...Female w/ GSW to her uhhh(I know the EMT, he was trying to say Glutemous Maximus...)...and in the back ground you hear...OHH...MY A$$...OHHH MY A$$...IT HURTS...EMT continiues uhh, yes, female patient was shot in the A$$...the hospital, responded with, repeat location of wound? again, in the back ground you hear...MY A$$, MY A$$, EMT responds with, she was shot in the A$$...hospital again responds with repeat location of wound? EMT responds with..posterior, backside the place you sit on...the hospital resonds with, her A$$? EMT, yes, her, A$$...

 

[Osprey1163]

Thats cheap. Had a guy here, prior felon, got pulled for DUI, had a handgun (felons cant have). Ended up with half a dozen charges and over 50k in bonds, mostly because of the handgun and being a prior felon. All cuz he drove drunk.

Whoa! Way to raise the bar!!

 

[lolbananalol2]

Going back a few years for this one...
Had a shooting downtown, picked this up on the HEAR channel as EMS was relaying patient info...Female w/ GSW to her uhhh(I know the EMT, he was trying to say Glutemous Maximus...)...and in the back ground you hear...OHH...MY A$$...OHHH MY A$$...IT HURTS...EMT continiues uhh, yes, female patient was shot in the A$$...the hospital, responded with, repeat location of wound? again, in the back ground you hear...MY A$$, MY A$$, EMT responds with, she was shot in the A$$...hospital again responds with repeat location of wound? EMT responds with..posterior, backside the place you sit on...the hospital resonds with, her A$$? EMT, yes, her, A$$...

That's hilarious 😂😂😂😂

 

[GB46]

Our fire department uses bladders full of water to supplement what the water tender trucks can carry to a fire. During a recent wildfire, I heard the water tender driver say, "My tank is half empty, and my bladder is full."

He could have relieved himself in the woods if they hadn't been on fire.

 

[k7ng]

We used to call back to the engine boss or the IC..." Time to put down a personal wetline".

 

[q100tech]

Not sure if there are any Livingston County, MI monitors in this thread but if so, a few years back, there was a cow on the loose in Howell.
The first time I heard report was on 47P911, dispatch stated:
"Caller reported a cow in their backyard, behaving suspiciously, when confronted the cow fled on hoof in an unknown direction".
One of the livingston deputies radioed something equally witty back, don't remember what he said, but that dispatch call is my all time favorite out of livingston.
After that day, there were a few more similar dispatch calls on it, but the first one was the best.

 

[Osprey1163]

Not sure if there are any Livingston County, MI monitors in this thread but if so, a few years back, there was a cow on the loose in Howell.
The first time I heard report was on 47P911, dispatch stated:
"Caller reported a cow in their backyard, behaving suspiciously, when confronted the cow fled on hoof in an unknown direction".
One of the livingston deputies radioed something equally witty back, don't remember what he said, but that dispatch call is my all time favorite out of livingston.
After that day, there were a few more similar dispatch calls on it, but the first one was the best.

I lived in a rural area with lots of small, family run cattle farms. Every year when the herds started calving you'd get calls from people new to the area concerned about the noise the cows were making. The deputy sent to check on a "cow in distress". He came back with a rather sarcastic "Ok....I'll be en route to the 'ummmm cow in distress". They got really tired of checking on cows in labor.....

 

[RaleighGuy]

This school bus driver seemed confused that there were no cars at the schools on a Sunday night.

 

[mws72]

I lived in a rural area with lots of small, family run cattle farms. Every year when the herds started calving you'd get calls from people new to the area concerned about the noise the cows were making. The deputy sent to check on a "cow in distress". He came back with a rather sarcastic "Ok....I'll be en route to the 'ummmm cow in distress". They got really tired of checking on cows in labor.....

Once when my family was living on a farm, My sister and her daughter came out for a few days. My niece said there was cow looking at her in the window, She was on the second floor. Then my sister complained about a grain dryer on a farm about a mile away. Maybe if you called he would shut it off. City folk

 

[krokus]

My niece said there was cow looking at her in the window, She was on the second floor.

Supercow?

 

[CrabbyMilton]

Too bad Gary Larson who created the FAR SIDE is retired. He had/has a penchant for cows.

 

[drclaws]

Too bad Gary Larson who created the FAR SIDE is retired. He had/has a penchant for cows.

He has a few new things posted!

New Work by Gary Larson | TheFarSide.com

Get an exclusive look at brand new cartoons and artwork from cartoonist Gary Larson, creator of the iconic comic strip The Far Side®.

www.thefarside.com

 

[TacoWarrior]

Labor Day weekend shenanigan's: Cops talking between patrol cars
COP1: No one told you to fight drunk chicks on the beach
COP2: You call it fighting I call it controlling the situation.

 

[xicarusx]

Someone called non-emergency to ask if the recycling center is open today (Labor Day)

911 Dispatcher: County to badge 34.
Officer Badge 34: Go ahead county.
911 Dispatcher: Is the recycling center open today?
Officer Badge 34: Negative

 

[Sparky_ND]

Next county over, deputy got called out to the local dollar general for a subject stranded on the roof after his ladder blew over.......

 

[oneadam12-va]

Had this tonight: a customer in a local convenience store called the police, complaining the store wouldn't sell him beer because he was drunk...