Funny/Odd things heard on the scanner

[majoco]

About 1400 local time....

Brooklyn 251 - FireCom

Brooklyn 251 - go ahead

FireCom - Thanks for the treats, no cr@ppy calls for you today.

Brooklyn 251 - Thanks for that, we'll start the party now - have a great Christmas (sounds of children screaming in the background........)

FireCom - Thanks , you too.

-that's Brooklyn in Wellington, NZ not NJ!

 

[CrabbyMilton]

A fire department in Wisconsin was asking dispatch the status on a key for a building which had an alarm. The dispatcher came back and said the owner lives in Florida and will not be responding. Didn’t catch the unit’s response but it seemed obvious. Until they develop aircraft that can fly someone from Florida to Wisconsin less than an hour, I would guess that it will remain status quo on out of state alarm responses.

 

[zapman987]

A fire department in Wisconsin was asking dispatch the status on a key for a building which had an alarm. The dispatcher came back and said the owner lives in Florida and will not be responding. Didn’t catch the unit’s response but it seemed obvious. Until they develop aircraft that can fly someone from Florida to Wisconsin less than an hour, I would guess that it will remain status quo on out of state alarm responses.

Depending on their fire alarm laws/ordinances, that may void response. I know in our area a keyholder has to be within 30 minutes with failure to be available after 2 responses will void fire alarm responses to your location (which normally voids commercial fire insurance for the bldg in many areas as well).

 

[KK4JUG]

About 30 years ago here in Columbus, GA, I noticed that police were waiting long periods of time to get business owners/managers to respond to alarm calls. I proposed a registration program whereby all business license owners had to furnish contact information on at least 3 responsible individuals who had after-hours access to their business. Each business was issued a sticker for the door or window near the door with a unique number that corresponded with the same number on the registration. 911 has access to the information. It was adopted and remains in effect to this day. Now officers can call the number in and 911 should have three people to contact.

 

[oneadam12-va]

Just in time for Christmas Night...

DPD sent out to a disturbance call at a local apartment complex...

Officer reported back to dispatch after checking the complex...

"Not a creature was heard, not even a mouse..."

cracking up the dispatcher...

 

[mws72]

Heard on the Humane Society Talkgroup. A control officer was complaining about all the dead animal calls he was getting.
Dispatch says, "You're the new guy you get all the carcass calls."

 

[KC3ECJ]

Cop: "This wasn't a home invasion. Male is intoxicated, believe he has the wrong residence."

 

[Reconrider]

Follow this business system once in awhile
Queue tow truck drivers who basically use the system to poke fun at other drivers - rarely used for work purposes.

Driver 1: "Dayummmmm mike, car is upside down.
Driver 2: Oh sh*t, Not surprised(weather was a little rainy but roads weren't covered to badly with water)
Driver 1: Maybe she[car driver] is thinking new "new year, new me."
10 second pause
Driver 1: "New car"
Driver 2: Dying of laughter
At least another 2 others laughing in the mics from dispatch from what it sounds like

 

[kb4mdz]

Didn't actually hear this one myself, but coworker did between cab company Dispatch and a cabbie (using #54, just to have a number):



Cab Co. Dispatch: Cab number 54.
#54: (mutters something unintelligible, but definitely off color and harrassing) (which was pretty common for this outfit, anyway)...
Dispatch: Cab #54, I want you to s**k my d**k.

 

[jimmie13]

This happened two and a half weeks ago station 1400 with dispatch fire alarm one of the units responded and the dispatcher said you have one Santa on location with the improper password

 

[KK4JUG]

Didn't actually hear this one myself, but coworker did between cab company Dispatch and a cabbie (using #54, just to have a number):



Cab Co. Dispatch: Cab number 54.
#54: (mutters something unintelligible, but definitely off color and harrassing) (which was pretty common for this outfit, anyway)...
Dispatch: Cab #54, I want you to s**k my d**k.

I could have gone all day without reading that.

 

[merlin]

Monitoring my state public safety system, I sometime hear some love chat with a city PD between dispatcher and cruiser.

 

[NWI_Scanner_Guy]

Now here's a sure way to get your car towed (a.k.a stupidity on display).....

Local PD officer calls into dispatch, giving his location and asking them to run the plate of a grey Pontiac. Dispatch comes back with the information, and then the officer asks if they can send a 10-51 (tow truck) because the vehicle is parked in a no parking zone, "right under a no parking sign."

As Homer Simpson would say....D'Oh!!

 

[Randyk4661]

Now here's a sure way to get your car towed (a.k.a stupidity on display).....

Local PD officer calls into dispatch, giving his location and asking them to run the plate of a grey Pontiac. Dispatch comes back with the information, and then the officer asks if they can send a 10-51 (tow truck) because the vehicle is parked in a no parking zone, "right under a no parking sign."

As Homer Simpson would say....D'Oh!!

But I will only be a minute,
three hours later..., I'll be leaving in a minute.
Three more hours, Dude, where's my car?

 

[CrabbyMilton]

If you live in a big city area, the local/suburban bus transit system is always a good source of funny stuff on the radio. So many but one comes to mind now. A driver calls in requesting a bus change because his seat smelled bad. So the dispatcher just wanted to clarify so which the driver says... It smells like someone opened this seat up and crapped in there.

 

[Randyk4661]

If you live in a big city area, the local/suburban bus transit system is always a good source of funny stuff on the radio. So many but one comes to mind now. A driver calls in requesting a bus change because his seat smelled bad. So the dispatcher just wanted to clarify so which the driver says... It smells like someone opened this seat up and crapped in there.

It's great for traffic reports also.
I remember once a driver called in to report that a street was closed for a fire and an officer was telling her to turn off the route, was this okay to do so?
The dispatcher responds with, "If the officer wants you to turn, you turn"

 

[CrabbyMilton]

She likely just wanted to cover herself with dispatch but yes, common sense can help. Another one with transit. A driver calls in because she broke down and waiting for the mechanic since she was supposed to pull in. But she was scheduled to do a tripper which was an extra short run. The dispatcher told her not to worry that the tripper was covered that she could just ride back with the tow truck She couldn’t quite understand dispatch due to radio trouble. She kept repeating that she was going to be late for her tripper. The dispatcher kept repeating that the tripper was covered and getting increasingly madder and louder... “Do not worry about your tripper. Another driver is covering it!!!”
This went back and forth for about 6 times until she finally figured it out. It was even funnier because the dispatcher at the time had a rather nasal tone and it sounded funnier when he was shouting.😀

 

[Randyk4661]

I knew she was just covering herself and letting the buses behind her know of the closer, I just thought it was kinda funny how the dispatcher responded.

 

[CrabbyMilton]

I don’t know about other county or city transit systems but our county transit system radio system never allowed drivers to talk to each other. So it’s a bit of a conundrum. Drivers would abuse it but it would be helpful since going thru dispatch delays things.

 

[GB46]

Now here's a sure way to get your car towed (a.k.a stupidity on display).....

Local PD officer calls into dispatch, giving his location and asking them to run the plate of a grey Pontiac. Dispatch comes back with the information, and then the officer asks if they can send a 10-51 (tow truck) because the vehicle is parked in a no parking zone, "right under a no parking sign."

As Homer Simpson would say....D'Oh!!

Reminds me of when I was a new driver at age 17. I parked the family car downtown to do a little shopping, and when I returned to the car, a cop was standing by it, having just issued a parking ticket. I had parked there at roughly 3 PM, when parking was permitted until 4:00, and returned to the car at 3:30. I looked at my watch and said, "But its only 3:30." The officer started laughing, and told me it was already past 4:00. Then I realized that my watch had stopped while I was shopping, and when I explained this to the officer, he kept on laughing, then yelled, "Get this car out of here or I'll have it towed!"

I drove away red-faced with embarrassment, but paid the fine, of course, and never told my Dad about it.