Funny/Odd things heard on the scanner

[KC2CQD]

I'm not sure if this is even funny....but its mighty close. and a little terrifying....

Local dispatcher: ....a truck driver passing thru, said something flew in his window, swallowed same, then he passed out and is now coughing up blood......


I bet he will remember this day....

I used to drive wreckers for a contracted shop along the New York State Thruway. We actually did a tow-off for a Werner truck that had a wild turkey go through the passenger side of his windshield.
Crazy stuff happens at 65+ MPH.

 

[KC2CQD]

Lol at the male names! using the same scanner, and this was when I lived in Salt Lake City, Ut...a cell call comes up... 2 guys talking... it seemed to be a conversation about a construction job... describing the area...outside, trucks, skip loaders....then... something like "men working out in the sun... (I was half paying attention to the call)....hard hats on.....no shirts.... then I hear one of the callers moaning... so I guess I stumbled upon a 1900-constructionporntalk call lol. I remember I was soldering something and I stopped and looked at the scanner...I Called my wife down....come listen to this...is this what I think it is??? we laughed.... I never heard it again lol but this call mentioned no names, just described the "work site" lol

Which of RadioShack's portable had the blue keypad?
Those were THE BEST! Pre electronic Communications Privacy Act.

 

[KC2CQD]

(Tones), "District 3, Engine 553, Medic 553, respond for a uhhhh...... 15 year old male with a.... buttplug stuck in his rectum"
True story

Beats it being stuck in his mouth I guess

 

[zapman987]

Dispatch is pissed tonight


"I'm not gonna play these games with them tonight. If hes not there, go ten-8"

 

[CrabbyMilton]

So...I didn't here this on the air...I observed it, with my own eyes and ears.
Some time in the mid 1990s my VFD was dispatched to a CO detector activation with minor illness.
The gas company was enroute as well.
Shortly after, out first out engine arrived and started taking reading as I waited for manpower on the apron with the rescue truck.
My Truck Lt. at the time jumped in the passenger seat as other firefighters got into the cabin and we radioed in that we were responding.
Just before getting on scene, my Lt grabbed the mic....on a repeated. county-wide command channel and asked the Chief for orders.

The Chief asked for our manpower to bring an addition fan to the rear of the structure to assist in ventilation....and this Lt replied with...on a repeated. county-wide command channel...
" Okie Dokie Chiefie Wiefie"
I was asked to see to it that he didn't use the radio for a while.

Sounds like something Curley would say.

 

[KC2CQD]

Sounds like something Curley would say.

Weeeeeell... close.
He had a bit of a speech impediment and it sounded more like... Ohtee Dohtee Cheepy Weepy.
Trusted the guy with my life though.

 

[CrabbyMilton]

I remember a county transit bus driver calling in asking if he could turn on his headlights and join a funeral procession to avoid being behind schedule waiting for it to pass. The dispatcher rightly told him just two words..."Absolutely not".

 

[IC-R20]

I remember a county transit bus driver calling in asking if he could turn on his headlights and join a funeral procession to avoid being behind schedule waiting for it to pass. The dispatcher rightly told him just two words..."Absolutely not".

That'd be hilarious. Imagine an out of place bus creeping along with the destination sign changed to "RIP Person"

 

[CrabbyMilton]

Well it's happened before where buses have been part of a procession to reduce the number of cars if the funeral was attended by many people.

 

[btt]

This is professionalism. Not even a hint of laughter.

 

[fxdscon]

This is professionalism. Not even a hint of laughter.

LOL... if the monkey was invisible, how did he know it was large??

 

[mmckenna]

LOL... if the monkey was invisible, how did he know it was large??

Alexandria is related to "Trunk Monkey". You don't see him until you need him.

 

[N8SHA]

If you're at all familiar with the Upper Peninsula of Michigan, you'll know that there is a strong Finnish heritage there, with associated surnames. Listening to the scanner many years ago, I heard something like the following:

Officer: I need you to run a registration for me...
Dispatch: Go ahead
Officer: John Tuominen. ... First name, John. J as in Joseph, O as in Oscar, H as in Henry, N as in Nancy. Last name, Tuominen... Common spelling.

 

[IC-R20]

If you're at all familiar with the Upper Peninsula of Michigan, you'll know that there is a strong Finnish heritage there, with associated surnames. Listening to the scanner many years ago, I heard something like the following:

Officer: I need you to run a registration for me...
Dispatch: Go ahead
Officer: John Tuominen. ... First name, John. J as in Joseph, O as in Oscar, H as in Henry, N as in Nancy. Last name, Tuominen... Common spelling.

I remember once dispatch read back the registration for a plate owned by a polynesian man. Pronounced it "Why Pie Huh Lew Uh" and you could hear the dispatch office erupt in laughter in the background.

 

[Mike_G_D]

Alexandria is related to "Trunk Monkey". You don't see him until you need him.

So it's actually a "Trunkey" but in stealth mode so really a "Strunkey".....

...sorry...!

 

[k7ng]

Alexandria is related to "Trunk Monkey". You don't see him until you need him.

Ah, yes, the 'Trunk Monkey'. Those commercials were genius.

 

[Omega-TI]

I heard this as I was scanning through 2 meters today...
"I tried to remarry my ex-wife, but she figured out I was only after my money."

 

[CrabbyMilton]

Speaking of hams, I remember during a severe weather net, someone kept keying the mic and was making burping and fart noises. Then when the net coordinator asked for the reports, the childish guy started playing the Gene Kelly version of singing in the rain. The net coordinator would simply and calmly say when he could get a word in edgewise thru all of that..."John if that's you could you please stop that? This is a serious situation." I think he stopped for a bit but than started again.

 

[CrabbyMilton]

Another one from a school bus company long ago. A driver kept calling for a time check about every 10-15 minutes. The dispatcher at the time who was extremely patient considering what she had to put up with from parents calling in and the drivers who behaved like the kids they were hauling around said, why don't a get a watch? The driver said,..."I can't afford a watch." Some other driver comes on and says..."The company should buy our watches. They're the one's with all of the M----F---ing money. I thought it was funny but at the same time, how lazy and irresponsible that one can't buy a $10..00 or less watch. Probably spent that on cigarettes and potato chips without thinking twice. Or course now things are different. Just about everybody has a cell phone with the correct time all the time.

 

[krokus]

Speaking of hams, I remember during a severe weather net, someone kept keying the mic and was making burping and fart noises. Then when the net coordinator asked for the reports, the childish guy started playing the Gene Kelly version of singing in the rain. The net coordinator would simply and calmly say when he could get a word in edgewise thru all of that..."John if that's you could you please stop that? This is a serious situation." I think he stopped for a bit but than started again.

That would make for a fun DF exercise. Knocking on their door tends to cause them to change behavior.