Funny/Odd things heard on the scanner

[IC-R20]

Did NOT see that one coming! Of course, now that theme song is firmly entrenched in my brain. Guess that's better than when Shatner sings "Muskrat Love" in my brain all day.

Rocket man 🤪

 

[acj76]

Ambulance page:
"....for a 23 year old male, conscious and breathing, reporting he positively has pain in his posterior...."

 

[Motoballa]

Listening to a volunteer FD

First transmission completely unreadable, presuming a handheld

2nd transmission loud and clear, led by MDC1200..."Squad 40 dispatch...Sorry about that, I guess these ham radios don't work that well out here"

 

[AB4BF]

This morning, listening to an adjacent county; "I've walked this place 3 times, Caspar must have called this in 'cause there ain't nobody here! 10-8!"

 

[CrabbyMilton]

Last night on the statewide system, they were conducting a point to point test. But the one conducting the test asked the respective departments to acknowledge then add the worst thing you received while trick or treating. Interesting answers. Erasers, toothbrushes, loose candy, pencils, cough drops, various candy that they hated.
I remember some old lady on my block gave me some homemade cookies wrapped in a napkin or paper towel. They were stale needless to say.

 

[JDKelley]

Mid-90s, when the "handpicked by Juan Valdez" coffee commercials were still airing. San Jose South.

"Dispatch, we found cocaine packed in coffee in the suspect's trunk, let's check for priors. Suspect is Juan Valdez, CDL #*******."
"Let me have that ident again?"
(chuckling) "Dispatch, you heard that correctly. You're checking on a Juan Valdez, CDL #*******, caught with cocaine packed in coffee in the truck of his car."
"*snerk* That wouldn't be handpicked coffee, would it?"
"*chuckle* I wouldn't know. Got those results for me?"

You could hear them trying to hold it together, and the cop trying to stay on point.

 

[zapman987]

Dispatch: "Address XXX, owner called and asked for a driveby, said if anything is moving at all, to arrest it. "

 

[JDKelley]

Overheard while listening to the airband on a slow night, SJC traffic:

"Man, I'm f***in' bored up here...."
"Last transmission, identify yourself immediately!"
(pregnant pause)
"I said I was f***in' bored, not f***in' stupid..."

 

[Motoballa]

This morning, listening to an adjacent county; "I've walked this place 3 times, Caspar must have called this in 'cause there ain't nobody here! 10-8!"

Speaking of.. I dispatched a Trooper to a two vehicle hit and run accident, the driver that was hit called in and and stated the other vehicle cut them off causing him to crash. I review video of the incident while the Troop is enroute and tell him what actually happened... It ended up being a single vehicle that drove straight into the attenuator at the split for a ramp to go east or west onto another highway. No other vehicle in sight!

I go "I guess you could say Casper cut him off.." and another Troop chimes in "That dang Casper at it again!"

Audio Clip
(audio obtained through publicly available broadcastify feed)

 

[Omega-TI]

This is a story from a former SR-71 pilot, he talks about some hilarious radio traffic, I can imagine scanner listeners at the time laughing their hind ends off over this one.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Lg73GKm7GgI

 

[JDKelley]

This is a story from a former SR-71 pilot, he talks about some hilarious radio traffic, I can imagine scanner listeners at the time laughing their hind ends off over this one.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Lg73GKm7GgI

SR-71s were always good for funny traffic....

"LA Control, this is Dusty 26. Requesting FL400."
"Dusty, LA Control. If you can climb to FL400, you can have it."
"Copy that, LA. Descending to FL400..."

 

[BinaryMode]

This is a story from a former SR-71 pilot, he talks about some hilarious radio traffic, I can imagine scanner listeners at the time laughing their hind ends off over this one.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Lg73GKm7GgI

LOL That's always a classic.


While at the Hill Air Force Base museum I just had to touch that awesome plane sitting there. Sign said no touchy, but I did so anyway. LOL Can you imagine what they're working on at "Dreamland" now?

 

[Omega-TI]

SR-71s were always good for funny traffic....

"LA Control, this is Dusty 26. Requesting FL400."
"Dusty, LA Control. If you can climb to FL400, you can have it."
"Copy that, LA. Descending to FL400..."

Yeah, back then FL400 was quite the feat, now days a couple of commercial jets like the Airbus A380 and Boeing 777 can attain those altitudes, although I don't know if they actually fly at those levels. I believe the SR-71's ceiling was reported to be FL800, so FL400 was a walk in the park... but only for them at the time. That would have funny to listen to.

 

[BinaryMode]

I believe the SR-71's ceiling was reported to be FL800, so FL400 was a walk in the park...

Scroll to :39 seconds in that video... He says FL890, but according to Wikipedia that cites the source from the book, "Lockheed SR-71 Blackbird." By Steve Pace (2004) the ceiling is FL850. Lockheed SR-71 Blackbird - Wikipedia

So obviously the pilot's story is make believe. LOL

Looks like Steve Pace has some interesting books. Amazon.com

 

[krokus]

Scroll to :39 seconds in that video... He says FL890, but according to Wikipedia that cites the source from the book, "Lockheed SR-71 Blackbird." By Steve Pace (2004) the ceiling is FL850. Lockheed SR-71 Blackbird - Wikipedia

So obviously the pilot's story is make believe. LOL

Looks like Steve Pace has some interesting books. Amazon.com

It has often been reported of the Habu working 100k range.

 

[KC3ECJ]

"We have a large stuffed animal that probably fell off a vehicle in the road." - Officer

 

[JDKelley]

Scroll to :39 seconds in that video... He says FL890, but according to Wikipedia that cites the source from the book, "Lockheed SR-71 Blackbird." By Steve Pace (2004) the ceiling is FL850. Lockheed SR-71 Blackbird - Wikipedia

So obviously the pilot's story is make believe. LOL

Looks like Steve Pace has some interesting books. Amazon.com

The official, listed ceiling. Just like the official, listed ceiling on a Piper Cub is 10,000' MSL - but put 91 or 100LL in it, take some air with you, and get out of RADAR control, and 12k isn't a problem I'd be willing to bet that the SR could be pushed to FL1,000, if the drivers did it right.

And SR pilots were borderline astronauts anyhow, and a different breed of cat (just like A-10 drivers - those guys are whacked! But stand-up fellas in a bar fight... My three favourite pilots: any sled driver, any A-10 driver, and any medevacker. All those guys are crazy, just in different ways.)

 

[JDKelley]

LOL That's always a classic.


While at the Hill Air Force Base museum I just had to touch that awesome plane sitting there. Sign said no touchy, but I did so anyway. LOL Can you imagine what they're working on at "Dreamland" now?

Or the hypersonic (M5+) they've got in the works at the Skunk Works. You know they're in the practical stages now - they had it on the drawing boards 15-20 years ago.

Always figure that Defense is a good 10-20 years ahead of the stuff that you know about...

 

[Omega-TI]

Yeah, that mockup they had in the movie Top Gun: Maverick was just on the edge of "known" technology that is was "believable" (at least to me). That sure is a sexy design.

 

[DeeEx]

Always figure that Defense is a good 10-20 years ahead of the stuff that you know about...

For sure, indeed.

I fairly recently retired from one of the three-letter agencies. Obviously worked with many such agencies throughout my career, some well-known, some extremely obscure to all but those who cared to know.

We had access— as needed— to technology that was far ahead of anything being hinted at or theorized in the media. Heck, thinking about it for a moment…fifteen years ago we were using things that an online search today will not even give results about because it’s been kept hidden. There’s not even conspiratorial websites making guesses at some of it! It’s just completely unknown to the public. I think everyone from the developers to the end users knew to keep their mouths shut in the best interest of everyone, and honored that commitment.

I was very new at the job when one of the senior technical gurus pulled me aside when he saw me in awe of what a certain system would do. He explained to me that while we had working, functional, proven tools available— not ideas or prototypes, but the working end product— we were receiving the crumbs and leftovers claimed by the military, who had the really super impressive stuff.